How much does your DP/DH look at other women?

[Amencorner]

Just wondering what people's views are on this? I realise all men look amd some people will say all women do too, though I can honestly say I don't bother. I'm in a fairly new relationship and it does bother me that he notices other women when he's with me

This probably makes me sound really insecure and I probably am a little bit. I don't spend my time worrying he will leave me but I am a bit concerned about my gut reaction when he glances at women. I almost take it as a personal insult. I find myself thinking he's not that into me if he's noticing all these other women. WHY do men do it? It's something I've always found it hard to accept

Yes counselling might be good. I do believe it's certainly my past that has left me feeling this way. I have a sense of abandonment from my mother which has impacted on all my relationships. Not only that I have been made to feel since I was very young that if I speak out about something I'm unhappy about that it's me in the wrong and I'm moaning.

One of my friends DH looks at every woman he sees, and sometimes makes little noises like "hey" almost without noticing he's done it.

He did have an affair and she took him back, but she's pretty paranoid about it, and I wouldn't like to be in her relationship.
She also feels insecure and not good enough. Interesting.

'Paranoid' implies that the fear is irrational. In the OP's case, on the strength of what they've written, they could either be paranoid borne of insecurity or they could be picking up more subtle signs that are making the feel uncomfortable about the boyfriend's behaviour. In your friend's case, her fear response sounds 100% rational. He's got a roving eye and of course he'll do it again.

I had an ex-boyfriend (years ago) who used to do this. I started doing the same with men as they passed by, obviously checking them out and getting lots of appreciative smiles in return. Ex hated it and was very jealous. I also started pointing out attractive women to my ex as well, so that took all the fun out of his little game as they would smile at me and not him. Result? I was interacting with both men and women but the ex was being completely ignored by everyone including me. Childish but useful lesson to give to indiscreet gawpers.

amen I'm so sad to read your last comment, it isnt an insult to him, it's an insult to you and a reflection of him the fact he has made you feel like he has "settled for you". There is a knack to making a person feel special, some people are either unaware or unwilling to try.

IME all that oggling, drooling bollox is for effect, to keep the other person "on their toes". The message = "you're not enough for me, I have to keep window shopping". Pathetic, it's a complete turn-off, and they can piss right off.

I bet there are a lot of men who dont actually fancy half the women they openly "lust" after, they just pick any random woman walking down the street and awaaaay they go, doing the same old method acting. That's an insult to the poor woman they are oggling! Its the old "building site" scenario. They need to realise we are in 21st century, now not back in the dark ages.