Has anyone known a man to change for the better when having a baby?

[Whatawastedday]

I've n/c for this and don't want to out myself.

I'm pregnant, only found out today and I must be around 5 weeks.

I've been with my do for several years and already have a little boy from my previous relationship.

Dp can be lovely and also a complete arse, he's what some on mnet might call a cocklodger. He works hard, has a mortgage, but he doesn't really contribute anything as such to my household and won't commit himself to us through buying our own house together or getting married.

One of the worst things is he lets me down oh so much, over anything and everything, I can never know whether he will do what he has said he will do, the most recent example is we were supposed to be going away next week just a last minute UK break and today he drops the bombshell that he has changed his annual leave dates as he now doesn't want next week off and told me not to start as he's got enough on his plate.

I haven't told him yet about this pregnancy and at the moment don't even feel as though I want to.

Somewhere inside me I hope he might wake his ideas up but I feel as though I'll spend the next 9 months wondering whether he's going to walk out the door feeling like an insecure wreck.

The sudden responsibility of uni, a job and a baby suddenly brought out the best in my OH when it all hit him at once. He was lovely but immature, didn't think things through and quite gullible - a lot of girls used him as an ego boost and he fell for it, getting too emotionally involved in trying to 'help' them and our relationship suffered.

Since DD came along he's matured massively and takes a lot more responsibility, not just for himself, but for DD and I too.

However, I'm well aware we're in the minority in this, and your situation doesn't sound like the sort the responsibilities of a newborn baby will fix. Telling you not to 'start' is nasty, cruel and sounds a little bit controlling.

Why did you get pregnant?

Sometimes these things happen, Cory.

OP - my ex certainly didn't. He was always quite controlling but he turned it up a notch and got emotionally and financially abusive (to name just a couple of things) once I was pregnant. Then once the baby was here he somehow got even worse. I ended up leaving him when my daughter was 6 weeks old for her safety.

I'd say it's much more common for a man who's a bit of a shit to get worse once there's a child involved rather than see the light and get better.

Nope I had myself 1 of those and I could've written your. post myself with some minor changes. Instead of getting better it got much worse, he spent more time "working" but had less money I found out he was cheating because he was getting too stressed. Stupid knob but I've got my beautiful little man and his dad barely sees him. I can do so much better than that cocklodgerand will when I'm ready and so can you. My advice would be to get out while it's still early days and you and baby will both be fine (probably much happier too) good luck

OMG you have a little boy and are pregnant. What the hell are you doing living with such a dreadful role model for your son? Do you not realise he will be watching how the adult male behaves especially towards you and will see that as the norm?

You could be having another little boy and yet you have a terrible image of males, are badly treated by them and live with a terrible one and are clinging to the hope that this monster might magically become a great dad and great father????

How can you even say you don't know what to do or think! Why aren't you protecting your son from this car crash of a life waiting to happen?

Get out, establish a safe, nurturing, loving haven for your dc so that your son/s can grow up to be decent, loving, kind and helpful human beings.