Monday morning oral sex survey

[EdwiniasRevenge]

Just 2 questions.

Not phrased very well I'm afraid. Just trying to guage -from a woman's POV what is the 'normal' spread of responses after a heated debate last night (and yes I know that doesn't matter what everyone else does its what you feel comfortable that counts etc. This is purely to prove a point)

When giving oral sex to a man where do you "stop"
a) I don't give oral sex
b) I don't/won't allow a man to cum in my mouth
c) spit
d) swallow

How do you make your boundaries clear to your OH?

So

You stop where you feel comfortable on that particular occasion and your partner accepts that and doesn't assume anything (and that goes vice versa) If that's an issue, you either have to stop doing it until they learn some damn manners, or if it's miscommunication you need to talk about it. Non consensual sex acts are non consensual sex acts even if they're tagged on the end of something you originally agreed to.

I don't think there's a huge amount of men who are bothered if they get to cum in the mouth or not.. they like blowjobs. Just tell them before hand what you want and expect, it's not a big deal.

I haven't felt the need to discuss before hand because I have never (and I hope would never!) be with man who would need to be forewarned ie I'm only going to do what I'm comfortable with, if I didn't want a certain thing I just wouldn't do it.

If it makes you comfortable to tell him your boundaries then that's fine. 'Normal' is a pretty broad spectrum imo and pretty relative in some aspects. I don't want to assume he's pushing you into it, but if he is he's a bit of a git and I'd reconsider letting him put it in any of your orifices tbh.

"Not always that simple is it Bitter?"

Unless I've missed something vitally important here, yes I do think it is "that simple", Avoiretre.

The person administering the oral is in control of what ultimately happens. If they're not then they shouldn't be doing it at all.

It is "simple" if there no form of coercion going on. OP hasn't elaborated on that, so I guess we have to assume that Bitter 's understanding of the situation is the only correct one.

I think that it's normal (and very healthy, and a bit of a turn on) to talk about sex and what you do and don't like.

I generally want to explain what I am uncomfortable with as I start a sexual relationship with someone. I don't tend to explain why. I have never had a man react negatively to either.

B, and I've never had a discussion about it that I can recall. H is generally so thrilled about receiving oral sex he doesn't mind the mechanics of how it ends. I don't think there's anything wrong with discussing it up front, though.

Can you just tell me, is the word really spelled 'cum'? I always thought it was come? I am definitely not going to google.

People can spell that word any way they like. I believe (although I could be wrong; I have lived a comparatively sheltered life ) that it's spelled like that in written pornography. I have no idea why. Perhaps to completely separate it from any other contexts, I dunno

The word is actually sperm.

Or ejaculate.

B ; although he still asks for D pretty frequently! It's a no from me though....

Bad written pornography spells it 'cum', and teenagers. It's one of those words that makes me feel vaguely ill and reminds me of reading awful 70s sex books as a teen (Love juice and seed have the same effect) Sorry OP, not judging, it's just one of those things.

We discussed what I was comfortable with right at the beginning - b) then and is b) now. He has always respected that.

You missed 'Jiz' Lweji

Its jip or baby batter around here.
A most of the time, very rarely B.

1) I do what I feel comfortable with
2) He just accepts my decision. No discussion, no need to 'make boundaries clear' beyond my actions. by Purplewithred

^^ not much to add beyond this.

I might do it a bit if I feel like it, usually I just want to get to the actual sex bit.

Oh, he knows all about my sensitive gag reflex

B

B, by preference. C, if I'm caught unawares. D, perhaps only 3 times in my life when I've been caught extremely unawares!

No parter has ever had an issue with any of these...

D always. I've never understood C. It feels rude and pointless as you already have the taste in your mouth anyway, swallowing won't make it any worse. Also where the hell are you supposed to spit, the bedroom floor?

B I don't really understand either. I love it when DP cums in my mouth, I feel happy that he is satisfied. Saves on the clean up too

On the 'boundaries' side, if you feel uncomfortable doing any of it, don't do it. Surely DP will understand?

Whatever I feel like doing. DH is very appreciative however it ends. It is up to me.

The 'boundaries' will come and go with my mood and depend on how sexy I feel and if the sex is loving and intimate or hot passion. There's no expectation of what's not allowed one way or the other. I've had umpteen partners, long term and short flings, and for me sex has always been like this. I've never been forced into anything or made to feel that I'm disappointing a man. Sometimes my gag reflex seems very strong so oral sex gets passed over quickly and other times it doesn't. Isn't it just the natural ebbs and flows of human passion?