My opinion may differ from some here ;-)
When I was married I stayed at home with the kids but worked part time at a school, we agreed as a couple that as his job was long hours and physical work, I would do the housework chores etc, and yes that did involve going to a shop and buying nice soft cushions for our sofa. Nice bedding. Nice curtains. Orniments all the things that we could afford that would make our home look nice. For us ! Not just me or just him. Us both.
He would come home tired and see the kids before they went to bed, and 90% of the time there was a hot meal waiting for him, if not I would text/ring during the day and say " I can't be bothered today so it's takeaway or help yourself" and in no way EVER did I feel like I was being used. A mug. A helpless housewife, we we're a couple and we shared things, he earnt a good enough wage so I could be with the kids, which is what I wanted.
But......... It is hard work and time consuming all these things, therefore nice to go out for a coffee with friends, to relieve the sometime daily boredom of the same routine and keeps us mums sane !
I would either set aside an hour a day for any book keeping or bill paying then get on with normal stuff, I had 3 kids and managed to do this sometimes on my own as he worked away, yes it's hard but if you need to live earn work, then needs must, as a couple you need to talk about it, and if you both can't agree on what works, how things are managed then unfortunately people seperate.
Life doesn't run smoothly but to spend 60 years with the same partner, the basics have to gell. If not all the small things build to bigger things, then that's it !
Oh and I also used to have a single bed in the baby's room so if they woke during night then I could see to them in there ! So as not to disturb hubby.
Not that this gives you any advice I'm afraid, just my point of view on what worked for us at the time
Good luck