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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Buying a house and finances - clueless!

61 replies

newchronicles82 · 07/07/2014 20:37

Hi, long time lurker and occasional poster, could just really do with some outside views on this.

Basically me and dp are in the very fortunate position of being able to buy our own home in the near future. The thing is, it will be my money that is going down as a hefty (50%) deposit.

We have a DD together and are very happy / secure as a couple.

I'm just not sure what I should be doing re safeguarding 'my' money? It is money I earned before we got together and I have been working and saving hard to get enough together to buy this house. DP has also been working hard but somehow has nothing to contribute to the deposit. Ongoing, we will be splitting the mortgage and bills 50/50.

OP posts:

Original poster

newchronicles82 · 07/07/2014 20:38

What I want to ask is, should I safeguard my deposit, or should I treat it as our deposit and therefore the house would be 50/50?

OP posts:

CarolineWheatley · 07/07/2014 20:41

Talk to a solicitor about the position if you just do it and options/implications of options for protecting your interests.

You'll need one anyway for the conveyancing so might as well give them some work to do.

Original poster

newchronicles82 · 07/07/2014 20:42

Sorry, one more thing to add :-)

DP fully expects me to treat the deposit as if it is ours, as he keeps referring to it as our deposit.

Something just doesn't feel right about signing away all my money.

OP posts:

ashesgirl · 07/07/2014 20:43

You should talk to a conveyancing solicitor and buy as tenants in common, rather than joint tenants.

Tenants in common can specify separate investments. As joint tenants, you'd effectively be giving him a gift of 25k if you ever split up. So you need to protect your deposit. I can't remember the term, it's a deed or something like that.

Mostlyjustaluker · 07/07/2014 20:43

I think this is entirely a personal decision.

How come your dp has nothing to contribute? How do you work out money now? How would you work out who pays for what ect when you move? I think this is worrying me more. But this maybe my issue.

Shakey1500 · 07/07/2014 20:44

You should totally safeguard your deposit! Agree, seek advice from a solicitor independently.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 07/07/2014 20:44

Definitely talk to a solicitor. You're entering a joint ownership agreement, there's big money involved and there are protocols.

rosepetalsoup · 07/07/2014 20:45

Not sure but interested as I have a (smaller) deposit.

ashesgirl · 07/07/2014 20:45

Why would you give him thousands of pounds of your money?

If you're married, then yes it'd probably become joint money. But you're not, so best to protect your investment.

Original poster

newchronicles82 · 07/07/2014 20:46

Thanks I will do.

I have tried to bring it up with DP but he accuses me of not having faith in our relationship.

OP posts:

NorthEasterlyGale · 07/07/2014 20:46

No legal advice from me as I know nowt, but listen to that little voice that's whispering to you. Intuition is a powerful instinct and one we don't always use enough - if it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't. Get thee to a solicitor!

ashesgirl · 07/07/2014 20:50

Actually I read it as 50k but you actually said 50% of the value of the house.

This is likely to be a v large amount in that case. I'm sure he wouldn't be handing over that kind of money.

50% of relationships break down (sadly) so it's only sensible, don't let him push you into doing it.

YvyB · 07/07/2014 20:53

Definitely protect your deposit. It should be quite easy to do: if you have deposit of 50k and the house costs 150k, assuming you are splitting the mortgage payments half and half you simply own 2/3 of the house whilst he will own 1/3. Your conveyancing solicitor should be asking you about this anyway. For what it's worth, surely any man who has your best interests as his priority would be absolutely fine with this anyway?

YvyB · 07/07/2014 20:58

Just realised you actually have 50% deposit (duh, sorry, should have read that more carefully!) In which case, it's really simple - you will own 75% of the house whilst he will own 25%. This should all be sorted as part of the conveyancing process anyway and should be stated clearly in the documents.

Original poster

newchronicles82 · 07/07/2014 21:01

Ok that sounds simple enough then.

I think he is just expecting me to effectively give him half so I'll have to tell him that won't be happening. I was expecting everyone to say what's mine should be his and vice versa.

OP posts:

SecretSix · 07/07/2014 21:03

You can point out to him that if you're not going to split up then it doesn't matter if your deposit has been ring fenced then does it? It's only if you split up that it has any relevance at all. And then he would gain, so he's the one who has no faith, as he is thinking of what he'll get if you split up.

There was also a thread a while ago( in chat so it's gone) about a couple buying together. He was borrowing some of the value and she was putting in the rest in cash as the deposit. The mortgage company were going to put only him on the deeds, as the loan was only in his name. Make sure that doesn't happen.

fufulina · 07/07/2014 21:03

When I got married to DP, we bought a flat, and we still bought as tenants in common because the amounts involved were large (inheritance). 7 years later, just sold the flat and bought a house, two DDs down the road, we bought as joint tenants. Enough water has gone under the bridge, that I do consider this (now!!) half his house. But as tenants in common, had things collapsed, I would have got my deposit back, plus, we agreed, a nominal interest rate on that deposit. Rather than, for example, agreeing a percentage ownership of the flat.

The capital gains (we live in London) would have been split between us because I couldn't have gained from the increases without his contribution to the mortgage. IYSWIM.

Definitely talk to a solicitor. Not romantic, but absolutely sensible.

LineRunner · 07/07/2014 21:04

I don't think his attitude is terribly endearing.

You should be able to leave a relationship with that which you brought to it, with the money and assets you accrue together (including adding value to the house) being shared if you split, if that is what you want. If your partner doesn't like the sound of this then maybe you need to think about your compatibility.

Have you looked at a cohabitation agreement?

rosepetalsoup · 07/07/2014 21:05

Hot tip: Avoid it sounding negative when you talk to your DP (i.e. as if you foresee divorce) by saying that it's your duty to safeguard the lump sum for any children you may have in the future.

KouignAmann · 07/07/2014 22:11

The deed is called a Declaration of Trust and mine just cost us about £700 to protect my children's inheritance if I should die before my DP) or vice versa for him and his kids).

Only someone with an unhealthy agenda would object to you doing this and protecting your capital in an acrimonious split. You should question this attitude.

Bruins · 07/07/2014 22:31

My daughter signed a Deed of Trust when she paid a large deposit on a house that she bought on a joint mortgage with her fiancé.
There are several types, the cheaper version ring fences the amount of money, the second gives you the percentage of the house value that the money represents further down the line.

Your partner should be happy to protect your interests, if he isn't, why not?
This agreement is void if you marry (unfortunately)

My daughter is currently very happy that she took these precautions.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 07/07/2014 22:38

His attitude is suspect. You're not thinking of marrying him are you?

Stampingmyfeet · 07/07/2014 22:43

Get a Declaration of Trust drawn up as others have described. I didn't do this when I first bought with my ex and I was putting the deposit down. When we split he legally had claim to half the house even though he'd contributed nothing and I'd always paid more by way of mortgage payments. We have two DC too and I wish I'd been more sensible!

Luckily my new partner and I have bought him out, but this time I've had a very 'unromantic' Deed drawn up which my new partner is fully supportive of.

You NEVER know what the future holds.

Bruins · 07/07/2014 22:54

Sensible beats romantic every time, especially with a child in the mix.

So, he was working hard as well, what happened there?

Nomama · 08/07/2014 00:14

Not sure why some say he is acting suspiciously.

How long have you been together? How old is DD?

He may be saying 'our deposit' because he has no doubts about your relationship. He may be right and this hesitation is another symptom of your doubts.

But the important thing is that you are having doubts, so before you get all tangled up with buying the house, maybe you need to work out why.

But be prepared for him to think that what you are proposing shrieks of mistrust. That is a valid opinion.

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