Where do I start? Four and a half years ago I chucked my h out because I couldn't stand his behaviour anymore. He was abusive, both mentally and physically and a heavy binge drinker. My son was one and a half at the time.
Since then, excluding a few months here and there over the last few years, he has been abusive by text and in person. I am in the process of divorcing him and he has now moved in with his girlfriend, having sold his house.
He has 2 other children, aged 15 and 10 from 2 different relationships but never sees them and hasn't contacted them for over 2 years.
His behaviour is driving me round the twist, his constant aggression and the way he twists things: ie, I remortgaged the house (which was in my name due to him having a ccj) and gave him £5,000 with the proviso that he use the money as a deposit for a house. I lent him money and helped him out, however now it is me who has "swindled him out of £5k". He lives on another planet.
My problem is that he sees his son 2 hours on a Wed and more recently for 5 hours on a Sat. If he cannot make it due to it snowing (he lives in a village) or he has other arrangements, he cancels and will not see him at any other time even if he is free. My son was diagnosed as ADHD and Asperger's last year and is on medication. He can be very hard work and I do not have a large support group. My h refuses to believe there is a problem of any sort and to my mind "uses" my son as a weapon against me. Last Sat he was busy "seeing friends" and this Sat we went to the agreed meeting place and he was late. I texted him to say we were "outside" the place rather than in, and he texted me to say he shouldn't have to wait around to see where to meet us, therefore, I had my son again for the afternoon. I explained to my son (who was worried about his daddy) that daddy was being a bit silly and had forgotten where to meet us, but not to worry as we were going to have a brilliant afternoon together. I am at my wits end with this behaviour and am so stressed that all weekend I have been having breathing problems.
The question is: is there anything I can do to stop this behaviour - there must be other women out there who recognise this scenario. I would really quite like to use his head as a punch bag...that would diminish the stress. What can I do? By the way, 8 months ago he cashed in my life policy and I have only just got the policy reinstated and the money paid back by him. PLEASE does anyone have any suggestions (other than the punch bag?).