dh exploded at me

[vstressed]

dh exploded a tme yesterday because i had a go at him about something he's forgotten. He was very tired so i should have taken that into account but he was raging and swearing at me and said i'd ruined the happy memories of our recent holiday. really upset about how angry he got with me - he thinks it's all my fault for having a go at him when he was so tired and i think he was in the wrong for being so aggressive and saying horrible things. not quite sure what to do now. he tried to act like eveything was ok this morning - no apology though - he thinks his behaviour was justified - help

have just sent him a text to say sorry and that i love him

You are in a bit of a tangle.I do this alot.I have a row with my h.We both say stuff we shouldnt and I get really upset.He then gets over the argument and forgets it.Meanwhile I am still angry about the original argument and even angrier that he had no compassion for me getting upset.And so it takes ages to die down.You just have to draw a line under it and let it go.I know its not easy...
Obviously though if he regularly loses his temper for no reason and is abusive he needs to take a long hard look at himself.
And I dont want to be horrid, but the situation wont be helped by you taking pills that dont go with other pills etc, if you can possibly manage without.Becuase if nothing else, if he has reason to say that you even might not be able to care for the baby then thats another argument waiting to happen-and that would be a shame becuase when things are calm thats when you can ask him sincerely for a bit more emotional help then he is currently giving.

Hope im not speaking out of turn..

I'm sure the text will help. It depends on the situation and frequency. My ex husband lost his temper a lot. He didn't even seem to think occasionally hitting me was something to apologise for. When things are that bad it's perhaps a different situation.

he sent me one back to say he cried with happiness when he read my text. No he doesn't hit me. in the past i used to hit him - alot and occasionally he would retaliate. But he never hit first and that hasn't happened for years and i'm pretty confident it would never happen again/ Even on the very odd occasion i've hit him in the last couple of years, he hasn't retiated physically. it's more shouting and swearing but he has agreed to do something to try to help with his temper

thanks scootermum - no your not speaking out of turn, just talking alot of sense. i know exactly what you mean about getting even angier when h shows no sympathy with your getting upset - it's horrible , isn't it. i know i should try to move on more quickly after arguments as i hate having days and days destoyed beacause of arguments

Message withdrawn

vstressed - just been reading your post and thought i would share my own experience.

i was on ad's for years, they put me on everything (and i mean everything). IME, ad's don't solve a problem, they just hide it. as for taking sleeping pills with ad's, if you are struggling with sleep then i would ask for a tranquilizer to take just before bedtime. however, that may mean you're not awake or alert enough to deal with your baby if you have to get up in the night, which means that your DH has to deal with it and ends up piling more onto his plate.

don't get me wrong, i'm not "siding" with him, just trying to see things from his point of view. if you have hit him in the past, and seem unreasonable, then i can kind of see why he would explode at you, especially after driving for 4 hours! i think you need to chill a little, take some time to yourself once in a while. is there anyone who can look after the baby for an hour or so while you have a bath, or a walk or something?

i don't know your whole situation, and i'm not married (yet) nor do i have a baby (again, yet!) but i DO have a lot of experience with ad's, and i would say that the best thing i ever did was come off them.

hope this helps, and that you get a bit less stressed!! xxx