Why is my children's father a PITA and stonewalls me when I'm trying to talk to him about our daughters?

[lottieandmias]

I am so mad with him right now - my blood is boiling so I need to get it out here.

I've had to find a new school for one of our children at short notice. The school requires both of us sign the admission forms. This has to be done by Thursday. I have tried getting in contact with him. I left a message on his phone, nothing. Texted, nothing. I explained in the message that it was important for us to meet to agree about the school. Nothing. I phoned him again and he has turned his phone off.

What am I supposed to do? I think he will refuse to sign the forms so what should I do in that event? This is typical for him btw.

Yes, apparently I could get a court order if he won't sign. He doesn't have anything to do with their schooling at all. The problem we have is that time is short. I don't have time for him to piss about and not to commit about whether he will sign the forms.

This opportunity will have a long term effect on my dd's life and I cannot believe he wants to stand in the way of it.

I should mention that I already have to run around after him so that he has contact with them. He doesn't drive, so I have to deliver them to his house and then wait (often a long time) until he decides to come out etc. I also have to drive him to their parents evenings. I'm not doing it any more.

Work with the school, tell them you'll get the court order and they won't have any threat of any legal action.

Get the fees agreement in your name only and remove him from the equation.

Agreed, stop driving him. It's not for anyone's benefit. Why should you spend time/money on making his life easier when all he tends to do is make yours harder.

ditto hissy.

I would definitely forge his signature!

Also I have an electronic signature I can sometimes email to people when they need it. Can he set that up?

Either that or tell them he can't write, has no hands, or no brain, or the unfortunate truth -- no interest in his daughters.

I feel for you OP. But sure the school have seen it all before. It's probably a v. old form from 1985. If you ask them they'll probably give you a new one. After all, what if one parent were dead?

P.s. Deffo don't pick him up / drive him round. Let him be absentish. Just don't let him f* up this school thing. But after it's sorted then leave him to his own devices.

I'm sorry you ended up with this arse.

Update - he's signed the forms. Thank goodness for that. I never dreamt it would be so stressful just to get a few forms signed.

Right.

Let this be a lesson to you.

Never ever allow him this amount of power in your life again.

Stop driving him here and there, and don't run about after him wrt access to the dc.

He has shown what he'll put you through, just cos he can, and use you dc to do it.

Rule change time!

I agree Hissy. But when I spoke to him he seemed to feel he'd be happy to give up pr. I've had a difficult couple of weeks and I didn't need this. The reason I feel he was most unreasonable was because he refused to meet me in the first place to discuss this. It's not like I didn't try to include him. Tomorrow, the school in question breaks up for the summer and I will now have to drive the papers over there (9 miles) to make sure dd is enrolled in time.

No more favours though.

Get legal advice and see what your options are for removing his power from your life.

I reckon he'd actually refuse to give it up, cos he gets so much of an abusive hard on putting you and your dd through the stress.

9 miles won't take you long, and it's another inconvenience caused by your prick of an ex.

Print this thread out to remind yourself why you will never ever lift a finger for him again.

If he asks for a lift, you're busy/elsewhere/whatever. Every. Time.

I agree Hissy. Our other dd is severely disabled and I can see that in the future, this sort of situation may arise again. I feel exhausted.