Is this harmless flirting?

[stripeyred]

Dh and I sometimes look at each others phones, him more than me but I do occasionally. We don't hide it and know each other does it.
I looked at his last night. There was a message from someone he works with. She was going to be late and he was having to wait. She said she knows he doesn't like chocolate or alcohol to make it up to him so what was his weakness? He replied she was and ended the text with a kiss.
Is this as bad as I think it could be or am I over reacting? He doesn't know I've seen anything.

I wouldn't be talking to him tonight

You will just get another mouthful of abuse

Pack his bags quietly and leave them by the door for the morning. That is what I would do.

I'm 56. In the last month I've had interest from men of 39 and 42. Surprisingly, chronological age doesn't seem to matter to men when they're hoping they might get a shag.

Got to agree with the above, I'm 48 and was recently surprised to have a 50 year old colleague hitting on me clearly hoping for some extra marital.

What's her age got to do with it? So older women aren't attractive? I guess he feels he can be as flirty as he likes with an older woman because she should know she can't possibly be attractive?

He's a plank. His ott reaction is a bore but worrying in the sense that he flies off the handle when questioned.

Does he do that a lot?

He's been violent and you're worried about a text exchange? Seriously, if the man is unreasonable, unpleasant and has no respect for you, what's the point?

How are things this morning, stripey ?

Oh bugger.
I was hoping he would try to reassure you that nothing is going on.
His reaction speaks volumes (literally as well)
I don't really know what you do now.
He will have had all night to come up with excuses though.
I hope you are feeling OK this morning.

Hope you are ok this morning.

He's as guilty as sin IMO.

You & your children deserve better than this.

He's still sleeping. Haven't seen him since he stormed off last night and he obviously wasn't bothered about what happened as he didn't even
notice I didn't go to bed.

It's his day off today, had planned to do something nice with the dc. Thinking of taking them out myself

Sorry, on phone.
Thinking of taking them out myself and sorting things out with him tonight when dc are in bed

That's a good plan.
Get your stuff together and go out and have a lovely day and leave him to stew.
He really isn't making any effort at all to rectify things.
Enjoy your day in the sunshine (I hope it's nice where you are)

Fine idea. Get out and have a good day with the DCs,

I could understand him being angry if you had just been sneaking through his phone, but you already mentioned that you are both open with your phones and e-mails, and know that the other person will look at them from time to time for whatever reason.

So if he wasn't angry about the fact that you saw that message, then what the fuck IS he angry about? Angry that he sent an inappropriate message to a colleague and got caught out before he remembered to delete it? What the actual fuck?

If it had just been the message, then it would have been inappropriate, but his reaction could have saved the situation ("I see your point, sorry it was just a bad joke, lots of apologies, etc"). But what does he do instead? Storm off upstairs like a teenager?

His reaction to me screams "I AM GUILTY OF SOMETHING BUT DON'T WANT TO ADMIT IT" and even if that turns out not to be the case, he sounds like a prize A twat of the highest order anyway. What grown man reacts like that?

I would ask to see his phone bill so you can see the regularity of texts to her number. Maybe he was texting her in bed last night.

normally I am much more on the side of "yes its just harmless flirting" but even from just your first post I would have said that you have something to worry about and his actions since then would reinforce that. I hope today has gone ok and if you can, come back and tell us if you're ok