I want to keep a journal but worry about it

[pussinboots61]

I want to start keeping a journal (for venting and getting things off my chest really) but I am worried someone may find it. I do like to handwrite this kind of thing and don't want to do it online. Is there a solution? I have a day to day diary where I record what I do each day but I don't want my rantings to go in there.

Buy one with a lock and hide it? I know that sounds very teenage, but if you'd like a place for your private thoughts and to keep it safe, it's a good option. Put it somewhere so boring and random like inside a shoe box under some old bills, where nobody would think to look?

I'm more interested in why you have to rant on paper? What do you want to rant about? 'Ranting' suggests a futile act of shaking fists at the air, powerlessness, frustration, an inability to tackle a problem directly, a breakdown in communication.... what's going wrong in your life?

I mean more getting things off my chest or writing down when I feel annoyed about something, aswell as analysing my feelings.

What are you annoyed about?

I have a diary I find it helps get things out of my head and lets me look at things easier.

If you don't want to keep it you could write it and then throw it away or burn it?

Do you feel the need to keep what you write? If not, you could just destroy it daily or weekly.

My diary was "found" and read and it was a huge problem. No matter how much you explain that you need to get things off your chest and on to paper so that you don't rant directly at the person who has annoyed you - they will see it as you being secretive and harbouring thoughts you won't share with them. it builds a divide.

that said, I sometimes find that typing out what I feel and then deleting it makes me feel much better. You could write it out and then after a period of digestion, simply shred the evidence.

How secure do you want it to be? If 100% then lock and key is probably the only way. If you just want to dissuade someone from flicking through and reading it then this will make it more difficult to read:

• choose a notebook with squared paper, as it makes handwriting slightly more difficult to read than on lined or plain paper;

• keep changing the orientation of your writing on each page or every few pages, eg turn the book through 90 degrees so you're writing parallel with the spine, or turn it around so the book is upside down.

You could also try writing on the cover or first page something like "Private thoughts - please do not read". Some people would respect that and not read any further. However since you're posting this in Relationships you might not be in a position to trust your nearest-and-dearest to not read it.

I keep a journal. It's full of ... well, everything! Ticket stubs, memories of days out, holidays & then the dreaded rambling, ranty pages.

If you wanted to keep a general journal as I do & don't want the ranty parts to ever be uncovered then perhaps you could pour your heart out & then buy some pretty coloured paper to glue over the top & then write over it with a happy memory or something else that is almost 'general writing'.

I find writing in this form very therapeutic :)

I'm still lugging around 30+ journals I wrote starting about 40 years ago - ending about 20 years ago. I have no idea what to do with them (publish them anonymously on amazon - ha?!), but something tells me not to toss them. I would never start a journal now. Too much of a burden in the long term.

Oh no! Don't throw them, Wrap :) Do you ever look back at them from time to time?

I am thinking about looking at them this week actually. It'll be cringe-fest, I'm sure.

I keep a journal too and use it like Chocaholic, it's just a mess of everything. Ranting too, it is a great release to write everything down and it helps me understand what I think and feel about things.

For a while I wrote on single sheets of coloured paper and put the pages in an envelope. The coloured pages made it easy to spot them among bills and other admin mess, so it was easier to make sure that I hid all of them. Writing on single pages also makes it easier to tear the ranty pages to pieces if you decide that they are too embarassing to keep.

I'm not sure that lock and key really works, if somebody sees a book with a lock they immediately want to know why it's so secret. I think it's better simply not to tell anyone and choose a journal that looks like any boring old notebook, or keep the pages in an envelope for tax receipts.

Haha. I find that when looking back occasionally. Full of memories.. Some happy, others sad & then there's the cringe ones! Enjoy looking over them x

Wrapdress you are very brave, I still haven't looked through my old journals, cringe-fest indeed

Mynameisred, has a good idea with the envelopes & I agree about the lock & key thing - it would make anyone with a bit of suspicion, nosiness or general curiosity want to know what was inside 'Pandora's box' as it were!

I get stuff out by writing emails on my hotmail which I save as drafts. no one knows the password but me so I feel they are pretty safe.

Thanks for your replies. I'm not annoyed about anything in particular just now but want to offload onto paper when I do get annoyed or frustrated about things.

I do keep a diary but its more like a scrapbook, its an A4 exercise book, I keep in there photos, ticket stubs etc and write about what I do each day, I may just write snippets about my feelings but nothing in great detail and its not a private book, I have shown it to my family, friends and boyfriend.

I want a separate journal where I can write about things in more detail, whereby I can keep the stuff I want to keep and maybe rip out pages which I don't want to keep. I want a separate one as I don't want to use my scrapbook diary for writing for long passages of writing or for more personal details, even those I want to keep.

Maybe a spiral notebook with perforated pages would be an idea, or a nice fancy notebook to keep the stuff I want to keep and write anything I don't want to keep on loose paper and then destroy.

I would like to keep one journal for everything but am not sure if it would work. I have tried typing the venting entries and it does feel secure but somehow its not the same as writing it.

Maybe you need to experiment for a while, try a couple of different 'systems' before you find the one that works best for you?

Whatever you choose, don't show it to anyone or tell anyone that you are keeping it, the moment you think that anyone is going to read what you are writing you will start censoring yourself.

This book is really interesting if you are looking for inspiration, it has a really good discussion on different 'systems' and ways to use a journal.

Get a safe or safety deposit box.

I've kept a journal for about 20 years, it's important for me and allows me to reflect on things that have happened and work through my feelings about it. I tend not to share personal things with friends or family and I'm able to keep things to myself more because I have this as an outlet. The security is important for me though, and I've switched from hand writing it to using an online-based document (only I know it exists and have the password). I wouldn't feel safe having and physical book if I was living with someone else though - I only kept one when I was living on my own.

If you wanted to continue hand writing, you could consider using Evernote on an Ipad - I've seen someone take notes on theirs in lectures. Or you could write on paper, then take digital photos on your phone to upload to a password-protected cloud storage, then destroy the paper copies (and delete any photos from your phone of course). Lots of possibilities these days with online storage.

Personally I wouldn't want to destroy the document without making some kind of copy. I don't often look back at my writing but it's handy if only as a reference for actual dates and checking details.

Yes, I use an Android app called Papyrus and as Cobra says, Evernote supports handwriting as well. You need a device to write on (I have a Galaxy Note, which has a particularly good stylus) but at least then you get the benefits of handwriting plus the benefits of cloud storage.

Alternatively I'd use a safe deposit box - write and put the stuff away where no-one can get to it.

I self-edit when journalling. As the helpful process is actually going through the thoughts to me, it doesn't really matter if I write everything down.

That's interesting about online journals. Don't you find it less satisfying though keeping a journal digitally rather than in a book? I still have my scrapbook diary which I will always keep handwritten and that's not private. I must admit if I did keep my other journal digitally I would be able to write far more freely knowing it is password protected and no one can ever get into it. I live alone but I am still worrying about my journals being read either now or after I am gone.

I don't have an Ipad but I do have a Kindle Fire. I could journal on that when I am out and about but somehow would find it hard to do on the touch keypad, its fine for writing posts on here and short emails but more detailed writing I would want a keyboard and don't want to carry my laptop around.

I do feel more satisfied when writing on paper when it comes to journaling but I self censor more that way.