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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

He doesnt call me any name at all????????

32 replies

enemy · 07/09/2006 10:11

I just don't get it, after all these years and STILL my DH does not address me with any sort of name, be it my own name of a term of affection. No Darling, Love, Babe, anything, is this strange or what??? What do you think this means?/ He usually uses other peoples names when he is talking to them, just not me!

OP posts:
Flamesparrow · 07/09/2006 10:13

What does he say then?? I don't recall DH using my name all that much, but then I don't tend to use his unless I'm yelling at him to do something

Original poster
enemy · 07/09/2006 10:16

Thats it he doesnt use ANY form of address, he just starts talking. I personally find it wuite disrespectful and sometimes even ignore him until he says "are you listening to me" or "do you hear me" and then I reply, "Oh, I didnt know you were talking to me" (hee hee). He knows how I find this issue rude, but he still does it anyway.

OP posts:
wartywarthog · 07/09/2006 11:36

hmmm i would probably force the issue and say 'until you address me by name i won't respond'.

Molesworth · 07/09/2006 11:37

Surely he must call you something when - say - you're in another room and he wants your attention?

Quootiepie · 07/09/2006 11:38

my DH addresses me as... Fatty! he's so used to it he even calls it out in public

Original poster
enemy · 07/09/2006 11:45

No, if I'm in another room, he'll just call out. Sometimes I answer and sometimes not. Then I have to say "I did'nt hear him" I just think it's plain rude and I cannot understand why he does this. I have told him about it numerous times but still to no avail. He has no problem calling others by name. I have always used nice pet names for him and continue to do so. Occasionally I have adopted his behaviour and just spoken and not addressed him but I usually give up after a day as it feels very rude and disrespectful, I won't lower myself to his standard.

OP posts:
Molesworth · 07/09/2006 12:58

LOL! I don't understand how he can avoid using your name, or a name at least sometimes!

I agree, it is rude and disrespectful. I'd confront him about it, and tell him how it makes you feel. It's a common courtesy fgs!

searchin · 07/09/2006 16:44

He sounds like a real rude person to me. What are you going to do, keep putting up with it, you did says hes done it for years. I feel sorry for you

Dawna144 · 28/08/2022 21:10

My significant other does the same thing and I can't stand it. I have brought it to his attention and he just humors me but nothing changes. If he needs to get my attention from another room, he'll holler "hello?" It used to be "hey", then it was "yo". He had an estranged sister by the same name so I don't know if it conjurs up negative emotions or what but I deserve to be called by my name! We all do.

LooneyToon · 28/08/2022 21:20

How is his mental health? My mum was like this, she just couldn't say her husbands name to him.. it was something she could not break but was aware of, but yh she has mental health issues which I dont fully understand

UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername · 28/08/2022 21:27

Mine is the same. Sometimes he'll start a sentence with 'Eh...' to get my attention. That's as close as he gets to calling me something.

I hate it.

FrancescaContini · 28/08/2022 21:29

Wow. So many of you with such obnoxious partners. What do you get out of your relationships?

MaryJoLisa · 28/08/2022 21:31

I'm sure after 16 years the OP has learned to live with it. 🙄

Creepymanonagoatfarm · 28/08/2022 21:31

Omg 2006 people.

CeeceeBloomingdale · 28/08/2022 21:32

That's normal in our house, neither of us do and we've been together close to 30 years. On the odd occasion he uses my name it sounds odd. I only use names at work as company policy is to use customer names. Otherwise I just look at the person I'm speaking to engage them. I have mild hearing difficulties so don't always hear my name but "feel" someone looking at me and speaking. I don't see how it's rude, calling someone a nickname is more rude to me.

CeeceeBloomingdale · 28/08/2022 21:32

Wah I blame baby brain, I had a baby in 2006 😉

TheLittleRedDragon · 28/08/2022 22:02

Ask him why he wont use your name. What is his reason. He has one and you need to know what it is.

RebeccaCloud9 · 28/08/2022 22:10

Is love to know if @enemy is still with him, and if she is, has he used her name at all since 2006?!

Lucyintheskywithrubies · 28/08/2022 23:10

How do people manage to dig up these old threads?!

Dawna144 · 28/08/2022 23:35

I did an internet search and found the post. I didn't realize this website is UK based. I'm in the US

fannyfan · 28/08/2022 23:36

Bloody hell this thread is older than my 15 yr old dog..

Dawna144 · 28/08/2022 23:36

I will do that.

Dawna144 · 28/08/2022 23:37

I feel your pain 😞

Lucyintheskywithrubies · 29/08/2022 00:51

I want to know what the outcome was!

Darbs76 · 29/08/2022 02:06

I was like with my ex, not sure why. I still can’t say his name when I address him. It is odd yes

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