Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

Oh my good god.

82 replies

Abitmeh · 20/06/2014 23:13

I have met a man - got on very, very well etc. So much so that we've arranged to see each other again very soon and have been talking a lot. Very respectful of me etc. But I've just seen his FB page (I don't do FB really but he said he's on it tonight, so I went to have a look).

He has shared Britain First posters on it. I'm shocked. These are a racist, far right group. I've texted him and asked him if he believes in all that shit. He said he hates violence of all kinds but believes people living in this culture should respect their culture and beliefs. Also that he's dated women from all over the world but that we should shut the floodgates to immigration.

I am shocked. Are you? Is it me?

OP posts:

MagpieMama · 20/06/2014 23:42

Much better to have found out now! Hope you meet someone lovely and not racist soon

Original poster

Abitmeh · 20/06/2014 23:56

And now I've had an "i'm devastated" text.

I just can't go there. It sickens me.

OP posts:

Fanjango · 21/06/2014 00:00

Don't listen to it! It was early days. He showed his hand...it was dirty. Enough said. Well done. There will be a real man come along soon.

alphabook · 21/06/2014 00:03

It would be a dealbreaker for me too. It's a shame but be glad he showed his true self early on.

Original poster

Abitmeh · 21/06/2014 00:04

I'm not listening Fan. I've heard enough and there isn't a single thing I want to say to him. Strange that, because we've spent the last few weeks talking about everything an anything like we've known each other forever. Except for that one thing.

OP posts:

Scarletohello · 21/06/2014 00:04

I would have dumped too. I may have low standards but I feel really strongly about racism and it would make me feel dirty and kinda disgusted with myself to date someone who held those views. People need to know it's not ok and that other right thinking people don't agree with them and that there are consequences to holding these views.

Rant over.

Original poster

Abitmeh · 21/06/2014 00:06

I'm fine though, just shocked that I came so close to someone who I thought just might be special and who proved to be someone who could never be right for me - but for reasons I'd not imagined. Thank you.

OP posts:

Scarletohello · 21/06/2014 00:08

Stay strong and be proud of yourself for having principles and acting on them.

Fanjango · 21/06/2014 00:20

Scarlet is right. You've done well. We can't be all knowing about a person. Don't berate yourself that you did not see it coming. Be happy that you found out so soon and remember that fb can show you more about the person you see, and not always in a good way. Saved you on finding out later, when you had invested more emotionally. Lucky escape. Go get em girl. There's a good man out there somewhere

Tinks42 · 21/06/2014 00:30

I remember a while back seeing a guy who appeared great. He invited to dinner on 3rd date. I walked in to see a huge picture of Hitler on his wall, I turned round and walked straight back out!

Fanjango · 21/06/2014 00:34

Bloody hell Tinks. That is awful. Well out if it

Tinks42 · 21/06/2014 00:47

And he was a fireman to boot (bet he has to keep that one quiet from his station). Yep, well out of it Fanjango. Horrible man.

ColdCottage · 21/06/2014 01:08

Are you sure he knows what they stand for?

A number of my girlfriends have shared this groups posts innocently as they were about things like not leaving dogs in hot cars etc.

The had no idea of the group behind them, just agreed with that one post.

I can't say I look into who posts something like that, I could easily share something like that which doesn't relate to race etc without realising. I'd be horrified if I found out.

Dirtybadger · 21/06/2014 01:16

The op has said what the poster was and how he defended his views. He knew/knows.

You are well rid. I couldn't even have a functioning relationship with someone centre right, let alone an unashamed racist. In fact this thread makes me think perhaps I should issue all future dates with a political spectrum quiz of some sort...I would be devastated in your position! If they're racists I turn up and do a Paxmam style interview. Good ones get a coffee. Argh. Hope the next one turns out better.

Tinks42 · 21/06/2014 02:37

In order to have anything like this on your facebook, you know exactly what you are doing..

RockinHippy · 21/06/2014 03:03

Well done for standing up for what you believe in - sorry you has hopes for him, but he's obviously not good enough for you.

I'm looking very like I'm just about to delete someone I know from years back for the same reason - he's posted a BF poster that's stating pig ignorant race hate "facts" comparing immigrant benefits to pensions - I'm shocked, as it's not what I would expect from him, so giving him one chance by posting links explaining who BF are & what they do, but I expect he will be deleted in the morning - don't need anyone that thick showing in my feed

Sod it, you've inspired me - what he's shared hasn't been misunderstood like some posts of theirs

Iwillorderthefood · 21/06/2014 03:34

Well done you do not need this. He is not who you thought he was. I am sorry for you, but glad there are so many who are horrified about this group, gives me hope our country will be ok.

Happybeard · 21/06/2014 04:13

You were right to get rid. Next thing he'd be voicing these views at dinner with your friends or family and it would be mortifying.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 21/06/2014 07:34

Well done.
I fucking hate knee jerk anti immigration racism. Having a conversation about immigration is completely different to this 'I don't feel at home in my own country' bullshit. It's racism pure and simple and it's a deal breaker. Well done for taking a stand right now!

Rebecca2014 · 21/06/2014 08:24

Would you have dumped him if he was a supporter of UKIP too?

Rebecca2014 · 21/06/2014 08:29

I think he should see himself as having an lucky escape from you, an judgmental leftie.

"He said he hates violence of all kinds but believes people living in this culture should respect their culture and beliefs. Also that he's dated women from all over the world but that we should shut the floodgates"

I agree with the first part, what is wrong with that? the second part I do not agree we should shut the gate to all immigration but mass immigration from Europe needs to be controlled. I guess that makes me racist too in your eyes!

I have no idea who Britain First is (going look now) but maybe he is a bit naïve if they are as bad as you say?

sebsmummy1 · 21/06/2014 08:33

The fact that he defended his views and then said if you didn't like it you could do one says it all really. I think you've had a very lucky escape.

CookieDoughKid · 21/06/2014 08:35

He's not really that intelligent is he? Like he hasn't even got the basics right. Did he ever study BRITISH history ffs? Men and Women died trying to preserve and fighting for basic human rights to stay in a land where they made as home.

CookieDoughKid · 21/06/2014 08:35

He doesn't sound so British to me.

wannabestressfree · 21/06/2014 08:36

Rebecca he already stated further views.
And yes I would bin someone for being a UKIP supporter because of all that comes with it.
If she is judgmental leftie would does that make you?

Flip

1 2 3 4

Swipe left for the next trending thread