Hiding pregnancy, happily married, I am a terrible person.

[Iamafool]

I'm ready for the backlash about how I should have told DH and how its wrong, but I hope you may see some sense in what I have done. I found out I was pregnant three months ago, we have a 15 month old daughter and are just getting by, but not well off financially. I have also suffered severe PND which I hope I am coming out of.
I am now 22 weeks and about to have my scan, I have had my nuchal fold scan and blood tests, but not mentioned them to DH. DH does not know I am pregnant yet because I know he would have insisted on a termination which I just cannot go through with. I'm now starting to show and I know the deception has to end, but how can I do it?
Writing this out I cannot believe I have done this, I am in an honest and good relationship but I just know how DH would have reacted and couldn't deal with the pressure to assert what I want. Am I bad that I have now left it too late that we cannot talk it over and have I been a cow to essentialy force him into this?

Sorry! read first post and posted. Congratulations. V pleased for you.

I'm really releived for you that you're not dealing with this on your own.
I think your husband is being very understanding which is tremendous and hopefully this gives you something great to work on for the next few months until your baby is born
Good luck and finally CONGRATS!!!!

Wonderful news, had lurked here and you really stuck in my mind - so very pleased for you and the baby.

Thet's really, really good 'IamA'! I'm so happy for you that he already 'knew' - it does show how saympatico he is - i guess you just had your confidence knocked by the PND, but hopefully the two of you can build it up together.

Good luck to both of you, and Congratulations!

good for you all

he's pretty amazing in that he gave you space until you were ready .. I hope you appreciate that ...

good luck

Thankyou all, it is amazing of him. I now feel massive guilt at judging the situation so wrongly and thinking such bad things about him especially knowing he was prepared to give me this time and space and is delighted at the news.
I also feel terrible for this baby. With my first I had a detailed pregnancy journal and spent the whole 9 months feeling sky high, but I feel I have neglected this baby already. I want to do all I can to make up for the lost time.

oh honey dont feel guilty, you were feeling rubbish and made a mistake but you're making up for that now, you will love this baby and now that dh knows you can be public about it and start buying little things and thinking of names and stuff. try to enjoy it and please look for help if you need it. xxx

Don't worry IAAF. I had miscarriages between successful pregnancies and spent dd2 and ds1's pregnancy trying to pretend they weren't there is case I lost them. It didn't stop me bonding immediately with the baby when it arrived and thoroughly enjoying ever since. Your little one is completely content and happy the only person who has missed out is you honey so instead of trying to look back at how much time has gone try instead to enjoy the here and now and simply chill out.

Oh I am so pleased!!! I was reading, but had no helpful advice

hurrah, Iama... that is great news.
and just so you know, i'd had two losses before my dd so we hardly told anyone until it became impossible to deny. some people didn't know until she was born, as my bump wasn't big.
i couldn't really take it in, because of what had happened before, so i didn't really like thinking about a happy conclusion, in case i 'jinxed' it... crackers... but still...
anyway, of course i bonded easily with the baby when she arrived and i'm sure you will too. good luck with everything, including your house move!

so gald to hear that you are happy and ok. other people have said it but it is worth mentioning again that PND really is an illness and can really cloud judgement. congratulations to you both and hope all goes well with the baby

I am so glad to hear this too. I was thinking about this thread, and that I'd maybe been harsh in my posting but I see you needed a little firm encouragement and home truths.
I am delighted for you, I expected to come back to find some heartbreaking news here so I am so pleased for you, and amazed at your understanding OH.
Good luck, and try not to dwell on the past now , seize the day to look towards your brighter future and happy bigger family!
Best wishes.

I am so pleased for you both I am fool

Well done for telling him and congratulations

IaaF - now you can change your name! I've been lurking on this thread and really felt for you. I just wanted to say well done but also that before DS I had a 2nd trimester m/c and spent the whole of my pg deliberately not getting to attached 'just in case' - it in no way affected how I bonded with him so please don't worry about that. The important thing is now it's all out in the open and your husband loves you both and understands - best of luck with the pg, hope it all goes well.

I love a happy ending. Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy

im so happy for you, shows how much your husband loves you and cares for you!!

Well done, I'm so glad you feel so much better and what a gem your husband is indeed.

Oh, well done both of you and congratulations!

Iaaf, I am really thrilled for you both. Congratulations and good luck with the rest of your pregnancy x

Totally delighted for you, adn your whole family!
Hope you really enjoy the rest of your pregnancy.

So delighted for you both iaaf! Congratulations and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy!

Wow! That's great news. Didn't post before but was sitting her with bated breath hoping it would be OK.

What a sweetie - giving you space to tell him when you were ready.