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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Got drunk and upset DH

67 replies

sweetmaria · 06/09/2006 14:14

Last night we decided to get a few bottles of vodka in as my birthday is coming up but we ended up inviting a few friends around (both his and mine) and had quite a bit to drink. My relationship with DH has been quite strained recently and a big bust up has been waiting to happen but I've been trying to keep the peace, until last night when I had a few too many.

It started off with me telling everyone what DH eats in a normal day (v. excessive with food) and it was said in a very "here's a laugh for everyone.." kind of way. DH got annoyed as his mates started to take the mick out of him so he pulled me up in the kitchen and asked me to stop showing him up. When we went back into the front room they had all got together and stuffed things up their tops to take the mick out of DH's belly. I was in hysterics but I could see DH getting more and more wound up. A bit later on we split, boys in the kitchen and girls in the living room and our conversation got onto DH again and I told them that I felt he was really camp, we had a good laugh about that but then they started shouting of him and doing camp/gay gestures to him, everyone was in hysterics and DH pulled me aside again and told me to change the subject. By the end of the night most of his mates had gone home and it was just 3 of my friends and one of DH's, he had stopped drinking but me and my friends were getting very drunk by this point and I scribbled all over a photo of his mum and stuck it on the fridge, we cut up a few pairs of his socks and threw some of his boxer shorts out of the front bedroom window, I have not laughed so much for years and the night really cheered me up, DH however is not talking to me and has even said now that he is wondering if we are really suited to one another.

I know I went over-board but he has embarrassed me before in front of friends, just he doesnt like it when the tables are turned. I know I should apologise for taking the piss taking so far but I also know he wouldnt apologise if it was the other way around. Maybe he's right anyway and we're not suited, he's a misserable git and I like a laugh. What should I do?

OP posts:
PinkTulips · 06/09/2006 14:18

good god..... my dp would have walked out the door if i acted like that, and he'd be bloody right to

apologise ffs! even if ye still decide ye're not suited and split up you still owe him an apology for acting like that.

MrsFio · 06/09/2006 14:21

he's just in a modd
it sounds like you had a nice night, happy birthday

MrsFio · 06/09/2006 14:21

mood even

fairyfly · 06/09/2006 14:23

Sorry, but i laughed, i don't ever want a drink with you though, you and fio, we'd end up arrested.

ledodgyrobespierre · 06/09/2006 14:24

Apologise and grow up, you cut up his socks FFS!

sweetmaria · 06/09/2006 14:26

lol this was my point, anyone else would've found it funny but not stone-face I think he should apologise for ruining my night.

OP posts:
Iklboo · 06/09/2006 14:26

This HAS to be a parp thread!

MrsFio · 06/09/2006 14:26

buy him a sock voucher

sweetmaria · 06/09/2006 14:27

Most of his socks have holes in anyway as he's such a scruffy sod.

OP posts:
Imafairy · 06/09/2006 14:27

Would he really have done the same to you??? I don't blame him for being upset. I can understand how you might start off taking the piss out of him in a jokey way, but if you saw he was getting upset, then why didn't you stop?

I'd have thought the first question you need to ask yourself is whether or not you you respect each other. The answer to that will point you in the direction you need to go......

ledodgyrobespierre · 06/09/2006 14:27

Ok, if your dh got pissed, insulted you repeatedly infront of your friends then cut up your tights and knickers and scribbled over a picture of your mum you'd think it was funny?

fairyfly · 06/09/2006 14:27

Why did you cut up his socks?

Why did you throw his boxers?

Why did you scribble on a photo?

What brought that on?

Iklboo · 06/09/2006 14:28

If you posted saying he had done all this to you, everyone wuold be screaming what a bastard he is and how you should hang his nuts off the banisters.

poptot · 06/09/2006 14:28

I'd apologise don't think you treated him with any respect, if it was the other way round and he was telling your friends you were fat and masculine MN would be up in arms.

NotQuiteCockney · 06/09/2006 14:29

Come on, nobody would find it funny if someone's DH did this!

If someone came on saying, we had friends over, got drunk, my DH started picking on me for how much I eat, my friends and his friends started mocking me for being so fat. I kept trying to get my DH to change the subject and stop it, but he didn't. He was really enjoying being mean to me, etc etc.

What would MN say? DTMF, right?

oliveoil · 06/09/2006 14:29

I think you are well out of order tbh, I wouldn't treat anyone like that.

Apology is very overdue on your behalf I think.

NotQuiteCockney · 06/09/2006 14:29

It doesn't sound like you, your friends, or his "friend" have any respect for him. Poor guy, frankly.

alexsmum · 06/09/2006 14:29

i think you sound very immature and mean spirited.your dh is supposed to be the person you love most in the whole world.how can you behave that way to someone you love?
i also think you shouldn't drink as it obviously brings out the worst in you.if i was him , i would be very unhappy with you.

shimmy21 · 06/09/2006 14:30

IMO ridiculing your partner in front of mates is a big no no. I'd dump you if I was him. You were bullying him.

MrsFio · 06/09/2006 14:30

they would say leave and get him to go to AA, in true mumsnet style

ledodgyrobespierre · 06/09/2006 14:31

I know it was for your Birthday but a few bottles of Vodka even shared with a few friends sounds excessive to me and I drink alot lol!

misdee · 06/09/2006 14:32

trippity trapp

Iklboo · 06/09/2006 14:32

Quite misdee, quite

ledodgyrobespierre · 06/09/2006 14:33

Think you're onto something there misdee.

MrsBadger · 06/09/2006 14:34

Come on, what's really behind this? You can't really believe that this is a reasonable way to behave.

That night was a symptom of something much bigger - you say your relationship with DH has been quite strained recently and a big bust up has been waiting to happen.
What's actually going on?