i am going to tell him i know...i would really appreciate some hand holding..

[kittycat5]

I was very very happy with my husband...We had been together 6 years although only married for 3...I adore him and he certainly had adored me until about December last year when he became cold and distant. In January he said he didn't love me anymore and the reasons were that I was too messy (I always have been); and that I didn't spend enough time with him -this is certainly true...In retrospect I was so certain of him I took him for granted...and I have children, grand children, an elderly mother (none of whom drive) a full on profession which meant working about 45-50 hours per week and was doing a doctorate..I also have pernicious anaemia which means I get Very tired and need to sleep a lot when I am coming up to my injections.......anyway he left and I suspected he was having a relationship with a colleague from work (he works as a carer with people with learning disabilities) as their work means being in each others company overnight and taking clients on nights out to concerts and the theatre (in short doing things with her we weren't doing together) prior to leaving he had stayed up after a night shift to give her a lift home after a weekend away and had done maintenance in her home whilst ignoring ours. He also went for long walk with her in local woods....He said they were just friends and was annoyed with me for feeling threatened. ..anyway in when he said he didn't love me (sorry if this is disjointed) I told him he had to leave and he went to his mother's then to a rented house. ..I told him that what I couldn't change I realised I had to accept (he was denying affair and saying he just didn't love me anymore) I said I would make separating as easy as possible. ...I became extra depressed and latterly got diagnosis of bipolar....He was so nice ...He took me out...took me shopping (holding my hand) did things in the house...I believed he might change his mind and come home...We were still having see. ...anyway my medication meant I couldn't drive....on Friday I was told I could do very short jjourneys if I felt up to it...I had something to give to him (a hand printed tee-shirt) so today i went round to give it to him and he was obviously getting ready to go out...i asked him where he was going (not in sleep threatening way) and he said he was going shopping...I said could I go with him and he said no and said he was going to see his mother too...I started to cry (I am really isolated because of the limitations to my driving) and he said he would call in to mine on way to work c tonight but I can't go with him now....anyway I went to my car and thought-he took his mother shopping yesterday so he doesn't need to go shopping today or to see her...so I followed him in my car. (He wouldn't have been able to tell) and he went neither to his mother's or to the shops...but to a residential area where I believe the woman I was wary of lives....I drove home really distraught. ..I had believed we could get back together ..that's what he was making me think....He is going to call in on his way to work tonight and my plan is to tell him I know of the relationship...then not see him again ...Please could you let me know this is right....I love him...

[kittycat5]

thank you....you are all being so kind-the CAB woman hasnt rang me back yet, but i am on her list...i cant stop it all going around in my head.