Why does it bother me he's posted half naked photos of ow on Facebook

[Onmyownwith4kids]

I've written about my idiot of a stbx on here. Divorce is underway. I've accepted parenting for him will be a part time hobby as my children's 40 year old father relives his youth with his 20 something affair partner ( now girlfriend) so why when I think I really don't think I care anymore does it gets to me when someone tells me he's posted photos of her on Facebook wearing little more than a cowboy hat

Because it hurts to imagine someone you loved and shared so much with becoming someone who'd so something so cretinously crass and cringey. (Get my alliteration!!)
He's making himself look a fool. Luckily you're no longer associated with him!

It will bite him , he is an idiot

As Cat says he is only making himself look like a sad midlife tosser.
He is more to be pitied than scolded. People are telling you as they are probably having a laugh at his expense and just letting you know what a twat they think he is.
Keep your head held high

It just feels as if he's showing everyone what a great life he's having, what fun she is while I'm the boring drudge he left behind. There's no way I would have let him post photos of me like that. Makes me wonder if she is a lot more fun to be around

For your own peace of mind can you not block him or hide his posts?

It bothers you because it's totally disrespectful. He sounds like a cock.

Please- block him or better still come off of Facebook. Best thing I ever did!

I'd be more concerned about people telling you about what he's up to on FB. I would tell these people you don't want to know anything else going forward thanks v much. It's self protection. Some of my friends work with my ex but they don't mention him as I've moved on and don't want to be set back. Forget about what the silly fool has posted on FB, everyone will be thinking the same thing, what a silly middle aged fool he looks. Don't concern yourself with it.

Trust me - NOBODY would see semi naked pictures of a 20 something woman, taken by a middle aged man who'd left his wife for her and think, "ooh they look a fun couple no wonder he left his wife."
They would think..... "ick."

I would despise this man if he was on my FB and be mortified if he was a family member. People will be thinking he's an absolute knob.

catkisser spot on. It's rank.

Catkisser is 100per cent correct . The only people who will be impressed are other sad tossers. She's obviously keen to impress the lads. She will regret it later.

Not letting someone put nearly naked photos of you on their FB page is not a sign that you're 'no fun'; it's a sign that you have sensible personal boundaries.

People will be definitely be thinking 'ick', and not thinking well of your ex at all.

Oh dear, you know those photos of older men with ridiculous cars, absolutely ridiculous ones and big aviator glasses that they think make them look like they are in Top Gun?

Thats what he looks like. Thats what all his friends think he looks like.

To be honest, he almost certainly looks even crapper than the men in mid-life-crisis-mobiles.

Our mutual friends all think he's ridiculous but his family think whatever he wants if fine. He's a police officer and so is she and I never knew any of his colleagues but suspect it's all quite laddish. Feel like they're all laughing at me. Have resisted the urge to torture myself looking. Am not friends with him on Facebook. Irony is he suggested he has a chat to my very sensible 12 year old about relationships and being responsible. I can't think of anyone less suited to dispense wise advice. Thanks for helping me put this into perspective. Love mumsnetters always here when I hit a low point! Thank you!

they won't be laughing at you but trust me, the pity they will be feeling is even less comfortable for the wronged wife.

Don't think a police officer in these parts would be permitted to get away with posting a nudie picture of anyone on the internet for any reason.

If it comes to the attention of Top Brass in the police, she is technically 'bringing the profession into disrepute'. This could well come back to bite to bite them both on the bum, if he posted it from his FB account.

I've been astonished with what they've got away online. When I first found out I found her on twitter. Some of her tweets were disgusting. I'd have been sacked in my job for that kind of online behaviour but I suppose they aren't really monitored

I suspect the reaction of many (after 'ick' and 'not very tasteful') is: he'll never manage to hold on to her.

However, do advise your friends not to tell you what he's doing on Facebook - you don't need to know.

I hope she knows he is posting those pictures, she is liable to lose her job. What a fucking asshole.

I have all this going on with someone in my close family. honestly no one is impressed. It is embarrassing. It is so embarrassing. Fine have a midlife crisis, but have the dignity to not do it on line. What if your kids saw the pictures? Idiot.

He obviously lost his brain in the move when he and his dick moved on. Pathetic!

He's making himself look like an idiot andyou should hold your head uphigh block him from FB and tell your friends you do not want to be told these things. If anyone one does try to tell you put your hand up and say stop. If you start thinking negative thoughts about yourself do the same. Read How to mend a Broken Heart by Paul McKenna it gives you great techniques to help xxxxx

I think what's so hard is picking up the pieces of the responsibility he's run away from. I'm dealing with juggling 4 kids and work. He's posting stupid photos on Facebook. They're obviously so pleased with themselves and it annoys me that he clearly feels absolutely no shame. Despite all this he still gives me all the crap about missing me when he makes his brief visits to see the kids. Absolutely pathetic

It sounds like you are engaging with him too much. Why are you having intimate conversations with him when he comes to pick up the DC? Can he not just pick them up/drop them off without you even speaking to him?