Why does it bother me he's posted half naked photos of ow on Facebook

[Onmyownwith4kids]

I've written about my idiot of a stbx on here. Divorce is underway. I've accepted parenting for him will be a part time hobby as my children's 40 year old father relives his youth with his 20 something affair partner ( now girlfriend) so why when I think I really don't think I care anymore does it gets to me when someone tells me he's posted photos of her on Facebook wearing little more than a cowboy hat

Drop the kids with him at the end of the drive.

Do not engage with any intimate conversations about him "missing you"

Or turn your phone onto "record", and tell him you will play it to the new gf if he doesn't STFU with the mindgames.

My ex police too. I know their facebooks etc are monitored in his force and there would be huge repercussions. I would say to friends not to tell u things like that as it doesn't help you at all. Rest assure 99% of people will be thinking what a twat he is. The police are renowned for affairs. I hope u are ok and have rl support

Him telling you he misses you is probably the only true thing he has ever said! He has to post these pictures to prove to himself that he really is living the dream and has not, as he knows deep down, totally fucked up his life for the sake of a shag with a 20 something. He has hurt you, hurt his kids, his friends think he is a joke and his family probably do too but are trying to be supportive. He needs this to be true love because if it isnt then the has to admit that it was just a tawdry affair with some dumb slapper who is quite happy to get her tits out on line.

He's a sad sad little man-wont comment on her other than to say not sure what type of person lets pics of that nature be posted online...

You're better off without, but you already know that. Fuck him, cunt.

You could report them to the police through the Independent Police Complaints Authority. They will look into the tweets and pictures, and may decide to bring up charges if they consider that they are bringing the service into disrepute.

You can do this annonymously, and provided you don't tell anyone about it they aren't going to find out that it's you.

I think I can understand why you would feel so hurt by those pictures. But no-one other than brain dead morons are going to be in the slightest bit impressed. They will be thinking "urgh he is old enough to be her FATHER". It's difficult to respect someone when they are fucking someone the same age as your daughter. I'm sure it makes many people feel quite ill to be honest.

More importantly, have you had the joint accounts frozen yet???

I think a lot of it is the feeling he's flaunting his relationship and I don't know where I'd even find the time let alone the confidence to think about finding someone else. He's constantly texting me and these posts have made me realise I don't have to reply. He says he has a right to know how everyone is and gets annoyed if I ignore him, says it's using the kids to get at him but he doesn't have to be provided with updates does he?

No, he does not.

What does he think you are ? A text messaging service ? He keeps contacting you just to make sure you are still paying him attention and that you are still safely in that box he thinks he has put you in

I suggest you only communicate about actual child care arrangements and that you will inform him if there is anything else on a need to know basis.

he chose not be a full time member of your family. Them's the breaks, sunshine.

You're still fogged up there aren't you! Just a little bit. You kind of still think that when he plays the stern "I am their father and entitled to know" guilt card that you should respond. And of course you still respect his position as their father because you are a nice, respectful person. That's why you can't comprehend his shocking behaviour.

I wouldn't respond to jack sh*t from him. He sees them regularly doesn't he? Then anything he needs to know he will know then.

You don't even have to confront him, just stop replying, if he asks why, change the subject. He will gradually get used to it and realise that contacting you is pointless. I've been where you are, it's hard to get here, to the place where you don't give a crap, but it feels GREAT once you arrive .

if he wants to know how evveryone is, he should you know, spend time with his kids

TBH, I'd think he's treating her like an object and I'd pity her.
And I'd think he's making too much of a fuss about it, to the point of desperation, and I'd pity him.

He wants to know how his kids are?! He should bloody know that already! Idiotic moron.

I'm 20-something and trust me, that kind of behaviour just screams 'I'm a home-wrecking selfish slag' from her, and 'I'm a desperate saddo' from him. How embarrassing for them.

It'll come back and bite both of them on the nether regions at some point. And when it does, and he comes crawling back to you (which he will) you can show him the door with a big fat smile on your face.

He had the privilege of knowing how everyone was when he was at home.
Now he has the duty of being a good father to his children.

Thanks for all your responses it really helps..Couldn't help myself went on facebook to see if it was true..I've been blocked and discovered from the person who told me that these pictures were posted back in November when he was trying to get back with me..At that time he told me he had deleted his facebook profile but of course he hadn't he was merrily swaggering away on there and showing off his new younger model. When will he lose the capacity to hurt me..I feel so humiliated. Someone I shared a life and built a family with doesn't even have the decency to show some restraint after the end of a marriage and family.

I know you won't listen, but the shame is not yours, love

Thankyou Anyfucker but isn't it humiliating when someone you've loved and supported for years can cast you aside with such casual contempt. Why the hell did I never see what a complete twat he is

I can understand your feelings but honestly, no one who sees that would have any respect for him.

It is horrible.

I think the word "humiliating" only applies if you were still in a relationship with him, despite knowing what he has done/is doing. I am not trying to diminish your feelings though, they are yours to experience and tbh, I would feel the same even though I know it would be misplaced.

with 25 years in the police take it from me there will be much merriment (at his expense, not yours) and rolling of eyes down at the nick about this. We've seen it a million times before. it will soon be over.

Torturing myself now. Someone has emailed me the photo. She looks really young and carefree and pretty while I'm trying to cope with 4 kids my own and look worn out. There's all this congratulatory swaggering chat on Facebook. I feel sick

I bet she'll look a lot worse when she's older.
And she won a prise

prize (!) twat.

So, congratulations to her.

Did you ask them to email it?

What kind of friend would pour salt into you wound like that?! Are they colleagues of him and her? I can only hope that they are sending it to you in the hope you report them both, because otherwise it is just plain cruel.
And she may look young and carefree now but her time will come, she may think she is special but she isnt. She will be the next victim of his selfish shitty behaviour. She will get hers.

And tell people to stop emailing you this stuff and telling you about it.

What for?

They sent it to show me what a twat he is. He looks like her dad. What do these women see in older married men

Tell your "friends" to not send you this shit

They are amusing themselves on a quiet Monday evening with your pain. Perhaps they are a bit bored of the footie ? Seriously, tell them to fuck off.