I found out a week before my 40th party. He had become increasingly unhappy at home and had cited work stress, etc. but he also became more insular and picked on me about every little thing. He hadn't initiated sex in a few weeks and then when i did... couldn't perform. That was a week before our family holiday where he remained very distant. Upon return, I found a message and confronted him.
Well the weeks that have followed have been a blur! I spent two weeks trying to save our marriage (following advice from his parents, etc) with underwhelming response from him! Eventually found another message and threw him out. Since then he took two weeks off work to repair his marriage but spent 1 week in a spa having massages and the other in hotel. He never asked to see me once! The one time I did meet him it soon became pretty obvious from our conversations that he was still seeing / in contact with her.
I even arranged for him to come round on his birthday at 6.30am do the kids could give him his presents in bed like we always do! He has continued his affair brazenly! Locally (even though she 'a not local) in bars restaurants. He took her to Paris and smart hotels in the new forest! She is 23 he is 44! Lied about EVERYTHING!!! He's using OUR money and kids money to entertain this child! And... There is NO future in this infatuation! He is rescuing her from the ghetto as her sugar daddy! Oh.. Did I mention the Porshe he just went out and bought in Feb?
Meanwhile, my heartbreaks every day for the loss of what was an AMAZING family! He has not stopped lying, but not just to me to everybody! Friends. He tells different people different things depending on who they are and what he thinks they want to hear. He even showed two of our friends a picture of her (gloating!!!). I even went to his very local hotel to see him with DS and he was sat with her in the bar!!!! How devastating for DS?? And my DD who is 12 is so upset and angry with him and wants to harm the girl.
We are living in rented while we develop our house and are supposed to be moving back in in August and now he wants to come home!!! And he wants to come on our annual holiday!!! But he hasn't finished it yet. He said he was doing it last night. I don't believe a word he says and nr will I ever again! This man lied from the day I met him 16.5 years ago and aged 44 he's still lying every day. How sad is that?
I found a really good quote that said "the test of a woman's loyalty is when her man has nothing and the test of a mans loyalty is when he has everything". He had everything!