Split and DH getting spiteful about money

[Chocolate99]

Hello all, I have previously posted about situation with DH and it is now official, the rings are off etc. I am looking for somewhere to rent for me and DS as he refuses to move out. 10 days on and he is getting concerned about how much this is going to cost him. we each put £45k in when purchased the house and he later paid £95k off the mortgage as he had some inheritance from his father. The remaining mortgage is less than £20k, which if split 50/50 is £100k each. He has told me that if I claim 50/50 he will makes things very difficult for the rest of my life, there will be no happy times with DS and he will give up his job (he is a workaholic, one of the reasons for split), so that he doesn't have to pay child maintenance and doesn't care if we end up in a bedsit in a rough area etc. solicitotor says because he put that money into marital home it is now marital asset. He earns double what I do and claims he would be stuck financially if he had to pay maintenance! Also says he will go and spend £50k on his credit card so that I am liable for half. Can anyone please advise on debts that he took out, in his sole name, when I am not on any of the paperwork, wasn't consulted about the 3 car purchases - all cars for his own use, not intended for the family etc - would I be liable for them until divorce finalised and if so, is there any way I can do a financial separation to ensure no further debts are racked up by him that I would be liable for? Thanks for any advice

No advice just wanted to say what a absolute shit of a man.

Hes probably bluffing. I take it he doesn't want to split. Dick.

Pursue your full 50% share of the house. Don't listen to his blackmail efforts as the chances are that he will take his bigger share and still refuse maintenance because he sounds like a cunt.

What a shit.
It could be worth reposting this in Legal Matters as someone may be able to advise you over there.

You'll never be liable for debt solely in his name, ever.

You are in exactly the same position as me 7 years ago - eaCh wanted to 'see me in the gutter'. Get yourself a shot-hot solicitor that specialises in family law. Good luck - like mine, your ex is talking out of his rear end at the minute!

ExH once - stoopid predictive text ...

If the credit-card he is threatening to use is in his sole-name rather than a joint card in both of yours, then that's his debt and will never be yours.

Your solicitor is right, that inheritance he used to reduce your mortgage became a joint-asset of the marriage the moment the money reached his or your account.

He can make life difficult for you by dragging on with the sale of the house, and it may require you to force a sale through the courts, but considering he's a workaholic the chances of him giving up working in order to not have to pay you maintenance for the children you share are pretty remote if not miniscule.

What I would advise you not to do is to go ahead with the divorce without sorting out a financial settlement or he could attempt to abuse you till kingdom come.

ha ha Impatient, that made me laugh! Not once as he asked about seeing DS, its all about preserving his money, he said this was the 2nd times he was being taken to the cleaners.. He just wants to live the life of a teenager. He is totally devoted to his job as a police sergeant and wants to be inspector so there is no way he is going to pack his job in. He has always been deceitful about money and DS and I do not see a penny of his wages. Feel bad as it is his inheritance but if the roles were reversed I am not sure he would say no to it... wait til he hears I plan to claim on his pension too now because of how he is behaving, he will explode. might wait until we have moved out! Thank you so much for your advise, it is good to see that others do not think I would be a bad person for claiming 50/50 as he says I would be.

Thank you bitter that is very good advice. My first priority is to see if I can create a financial line in the sand to stop these threats, loans on cars all in his name. He has a few credit cards and he gave me a card on one of them 10 years ago and I have not used it once, don't even know where it is. Maybe I can contact them and get me removed just in case?

Sorry to disagree, but whilst you may be legally entitled to a 50/50 split I personally don't think it's morally right to claim 50/50 given that he's put in £95K more than you. Although I think the threats he's making are very nasty.

I would say that is a good idea, like pp said you can't be liable for anything in his sole name, but you will be liable for half of anything in joint names.
Perhaps have a look at your credit report (think experian so a free trial) as it will list any credit you have and you can make sure your taken off all joint ones. That will also make sure he hasn't applied for anything in you name without you knowing.

It doesn't matter who put more money in. They are married and have a child together and the law says that assets should be split when a marriage ends. It also sounds like the OP has met more of the child's needs financially so has probably contributed the same amount anyway.

I remember your previous threads.

You have every legal and moral right to claim 50/50, and his pension.

Keep a copy of every record / threat he makes.

Good luck.

Snowgirl it works both ways. My mum had to split her inheritance 50 - 50 with my dad (and they were divorcing due to HIS affair). My dad hasn't lost his parent yet so any inheritance he gets in the future will be all his.

On the other hand my mum's solicitor did successfully get my dad's pension split between them.

No morals about it, its the law. Chocolate you should be guided by your solicitor on this one. though, the whole process is SO stressful.

yes anything thats in joint name get frozen or your name removed or a note put on the account. Basically ask them for advice they will have seem it before.

Totally disengage from him & his blustering, get a good solicitor & see where you stand. Might not be 50/50 but if you have been married more than 10 years a good amount.

if you can bear it, stay put. I didn't & sol said it was worst thing I could have done as exes then sit back & drag things out & my ex did ( copper too ..I sympathise)
Obs only if your safety is not an issue.

My ex threatened to bankrupt me to get "his" money back, & although its been close, 5 years on we're doing ok, amazing what you learn to live with out & how little you can survive on!

Try and get as much as possible i writing as proofs of his earnings & don't whatever you do sign over a claim to a portion of his pension, it will be worth it.

Go for the 50/50 split as he will probably try & cheat you in other areas. Try to get him into discussions via email as you will then have evidence to use in any future court cases. Start to collect copies of any necessary paperwork you may need especially bank statements.

Get yourself a shit hot solicitor.

Remember this is for your DS's future as well as your own.

Your solicitor will take care of all this for you. Your dh sounds like he is just ranting now (with the threats to leave his job etc) just ignore, don't argue, tell him that your solicitor is handling all money matters on your behalf.

Sweetie,just because he's a copper it doesn't mean that he doesn't know jack about the law.Let your SHL handle it.Perhaps use your holiday money to fund it.Best of luck to you and your little one.

There's no such thing as a joint credit card in the UK - see info here. The principal card holder is responsible for all the debt. The same is not true for other types of loan so it's worth doing a full credit report on yourself to make sure you know the full picture, and financially dissociate yourself from him - explained here.

Talk this all through with your solicitor, it will be worth it for the peace of mind. And direct any further discussion on the topic of finance to your solicitor as well.

If he has ever shouted or sworn at you that is a domestic!

If he is sending you texts or phone calls or emails that are upsetting you they are harrassment.

Maybe he should be reminded that they are a criminal offence and the consequences of you going to the police with an allegation of a domestic offence.

Dont forget you are entitled to a portion of his pension!!!!

Claim fifty percent of the house's equity and fifty percent of his pension. He either comes up with your equal share of your home's equity in cash by remortgaging or you force a sale. Plus, you want and deserve to receive a decent amount of child-support. Settle for nothing else despite his tantrums and threats.

While you are still in the property garner all the documentary evidence of income, mortgage statements, savings etcetera you can get your hands on.

Bollocks to it being "morally wrong" to benefit from his inheritance. By all accounts this tosser had long refused to share his income with his family! The OP should go for everything she can bloody well get.

"Taken to the cleaners" my arse! Being asked to support your own child and give your wife her fair share of the marital assets is being "taken to the cleaners". Now I've heard it all.

I tell you what, OP, if you do not press for your fair share of the house, pension, other assets, then it is YOU (and your child) that is being taken to the bloody cleaners.

Oh and dont move out.

If he was to be charged with an offence of harassment say - he would have bail conditions that would ban him from the house!