I have name changed as this is personal and embarrassing and I may very well regret posting it. Didn't know which section to go for so I hope this is ok.
My Dad did something inappropriate when I was a little girl and I was wondering if the wise women of Mumsnet would count this as sexual abuse or just inappropriate. It's always played on my mind and I can't ask anyone else.
When I was somewhere between 6 and 8 I was downstairs with my Dad, wrapped in a towel after having a bath. My mum was upstairs bathing my younger siblings. I don't remember the context or how he brought the subject up but my Dad was drunk (he had a drink problem and was often tipsy, slurring etc) and he started talking about my inverted nipples, something my parents had noticed about me and my sister. He said that he thought he could fix them by sucking them out and he asked if he could have a go. I remember being embarrassed and feeling pressured but I always wanted my Dad's approval so I reluctantly said 'ok'. I know that I agreed to it because I remember regretting it and feeling like it was my fault. Next thing I remember is him clamping his mouth over one of my nipples and sucking really hard. I was horrified and felt really embarrassed and stupid for agreeing to it and I wanted him to stop but he had hold of me really hard.
Soon after my Mum came downstairs, pushed him off me and they had a fight.
I know it was inappropriate and very stupid of him but I've always thought that his intentions were an experiment to see if he could fix it rather than sexual and therefore it wasn't sexual abuse.
What do you think?
To add some further context about my Dad. I don't have a relationship with him now. He was violent when drunk and generally unpleasant so I ended up having as little to do with him as possible after my Mum left him. He used to lose his temper and hit us in the head with either his closed hand or a fist and he also would kick us on these occasions. I know that he was physically abusive but no one in my family will talk about any of this. My Mum down plays it and some of my siblings still see my Dad so they would be angry with me if I mentioned this. They won't even admit he was an alcoholic despite the fact that he was drunk several times a week.
The only other inappropriate thing I remember him doing is challenging me and my sisters to 'flash open out towels' as quickly as possible so he could see if he was quick enough to take a picture of us naked. This only happened once but I remember the photos being developed. I know that sounds really wrong but I think he was doing it as a game rather than for sexual reasons.
I know this doesn't even matter now as it was 25 years ago but I'm just curious how other people would see it.