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[fallenhurtingsoul]

We were sleeping together etc and I was cooking etc for them but we weren't together. We flat share so was considering sending this message:

Yesterday morning I woke panicked cos my door was shut which I guess was cos you had some girl over. Last night I couldn't sleep cos you got some girl over. I know you don't like to wake up n find strange men in the house, well I don't like to wake up and find strange girls here either. At least I let you know. Honestly, I'm feeling like I'm Only good enough to run around for you and occasionally fuck if there's nothing else offering. I'm done being not good enough. And I'm done getting hurt. I should never have let myself get attached to you but I did and it's me that's hurt as a result. That's my trouble I care too much. you don't care about me. I was stupid to even think you might.

Does this sound horrid/rude?

How did you find yourself in homeless accomodation (if you don't mind me asking) ? Do you work ? Have friends (other than these bloody horrible losers you are living with) ?

"loser" was meant to be typed "user"

When my mum died I was made homeless. I spent as long as I could on my best friends sofa but obviously that's not ideal long term. I'm signed off sick atm due to various issues.

Do you get out of the flat much ? Somebody upthread suggested some stuff to get you mixing with people other than your horrible flatmates . Any chance of that ?

I do therapy on a Monday and Wednesday. Spend Tuesdays and Thursday with my best friend and niece (when she's not at school) I spend a lot of time at doctors etc. Do shopping (food) on a Friday normally. Tend to spend at least one weekend day with my best friend too (yes we are inseparable)

Has your best friend got other friends? Could she maybe start introducing you to one or two others, or inviting you along to group things so you have the chance to meet other people? It's always less scary if you have a good friend to ease the way for you.

What does your best friend say about this situation ?

I have done the freedom programme as well. I'm wondering if there are any self esteem courses? If there is such thing?

Me n my best friend are just that. Don't have many other friends and none local. My best friend is very much similar to me and knows the pain. She will support me all the way but she can't make decisions for me.

Has she made no comment at all on how you have been selling yourself short by sleeping with this bloke even though he treats you like shit ? I think it would be a very odd kind of friend that didn't at least say you deserved better than that.

There are self esteem courses you can do. Social services can refer you if that's an option, or possibly a family centre or women's centre?

Go to the library and find out what free courses or classes are available .

Go to your GP and see if there is an exercise programme that you can be referred to at your local sports centre. It's fun, you will make new friends and you will improve your physical and mental health . It doesn't matter if you've never done more than run for a bus since you left school .

What are you going to do for a living?

Do you think it would be a good time to retrain? Check out your local college. Could be some really great courses.

Apologies if you're already working.

I can't go back to my love professionally. My body is too battered. I want to study accountancy but my therapist has said I need to deal with my issues first or I'm likely to fail. I'm notsleeping properly. I'm struggling. So to work through my issues first is best. But I do think exercise would help.

hmmn, not sure i buy the bit about not moving because you were homeless. Whatever.

i try to be considerate in these situations but in this case I'm really struggling. You got your self in a situation that was so ill advised most 12 year olds would be able to work out how it was going to play out. The answer to your problem is so blindingly obvious that my dog could work it out. Me, i don't think you're going to do a thing, i suspect you'll go back to shagging him in the hope he'll fall for you, he won't. Sorry to be crude but you are the most casual of fucks imaginable for him, quite literally i suspect some nights its a toss up between you and wanking for him. Hey ho we all make our own choices in life but when you are making such blatantly useless ones theres not much anyone on here can do about it.

There is a much nicer life waiting for you, you just have to choose it.

Perhaps get a female flat mate into the spare room.

fallen - you sound much more positive than you did at the start of the thread. You have got your answer sorted out for this bloke, next time he tries it on. You have even had Anyfucker tell you that your answer sounds good!! That it praise indeed!

Yy to self esteem classes - do follow up on the suggestions above.

Yy to enrolling in free classes to get you out and about a bit. Try a few classes to find one that you enjoy. You have clearly been through an awful lot: it will take time to build up your confidence but you are on the right road if you follow the advice on this thread.