to send this message

[fallenhurtingsoul]

We were sleeping together etc and I was cooking etc for them but we weren't together. We flat share so was considering sending this message:

Yesterday morning I woke panicked cos my door was shut which I guess was cos you had some girl over. Last night I couldn't sleep cos you got some girl over. I know you don't like to wake up n find strange men in the house, well I don't like to wake up and find strange girls here either. At least I let you know. Honestly, I'm feeling like I'm Only good enough to run around for you and occasionally fuck if there's nothing else offering. I'm done being not good enough. And I'm done getting hurt. I should never have let myself get attached to you but I did and it's me that's hurt as a result. That's my trouble I care too much. you don't care about me. I was stupid to even think you might.

Does this sound horrid/rude?

How is this situation 'perfect'? It is making you miserable. Change it. (You're not going to be able to change him)

Agree - use the hurt and anger that you feel at the moment to spur you onto improve things. If you like your flat and the area, then get out and about and make new good friends. If your flatmate doesn't like you bringing people home, then tell him to find somewhere else to live. Concentrate on you. You deserve better than him. You had some fun together but make it clear to him that it's over between you and him. Time to get on with life. And tough as the advice seems on this thread, it is good advice. Come back and tell us how you are getting on. You will find lots of advice and good support here - sounds as if you could do with some motherly support and encouragement, and this place is full of mums!

Hang on in there and look after yourself

How did he end up living in your flat?

All of us that live there were re housed by homeless. I have fistsbcd

Distanced myself recently not been about as much. I think my route issue stems from 7 years of being abused and not feeling good enough and being told no one else would ever want Me

Ok so you can't move out, but what you can do it stop fucking him and pretending to be a pseudo girlfriend.
You have posted before about how crappily these flat mates treat you and how you roll over and take it because you want to be 'cool'. You need to detach. They are people you share a kitchen and bathroom with, not family, not friends, not boyfriends. Go and find a job, hobby or volunteer to get busy and meet other people.

The one who was rude and disrespectful has been evicted. I took the right steps and went through the agency. And as a result he was evicted last week. They are now looking to re let his room.

Well, lots of people will want you.

But bear in mind, lots of people simply aren't good enough for you.

This chap certainly isn't good enough for you. He sounds dreadful.

You need to be more careful with yourself and who you let near you. You should take better care of your very important self in future.

It really matters.

I wouldn't send it -
just move on and reject him next time he shows an interest.

I would send one message that says "this arrangement no longer works for me, use your right hand next time your feeling frisky. Lots of love ....."

And now you need to concentrate on yourself, why not volunteer, get a job or enroll on a adult learning class, so you can get out and meet new people??

You don't need to be used like your are it's seriously detrimental to your psychological health.

Don't bother with the message, it makes you sound desperate.

I assume you mean you are just fuck buddies?

Look if you just let someone use you like that you are just begging to be treated like dirt.

Either stop sleeping with him or move out. If he was that into you he wouldn't be sleeping with other women's that's that.

Now pull on your big girl pants and wise up

Im not going to be sleeping with him. He will at some point ask what's up so what do I say then? I was thinking along the lines of "i decided our arrangement wasn't benefiting me so decided to distance myself from it" honest and to the point

No, you say...

' Sorry I'm just not that into you anymore, you seem a bit easy. I'm holding out for better.'

Or you could say "I decided no sex was better than bad sex"

Move on, happiness is the best form of revenge.

That could work too.

I'm just not into you. I'm holding out for someone who is worthy.

Do what most women do when offered a unwanted sexual advance roll your eyes and say no thanks, and tell him why, in your case it's not beneficial to be in the situation.

Its hardly rocket science, just concentrate on yourself you've obviously been through a lot and you need to take care of number one :)

Just say "Nothing's up. Life is good. Why shouldn't it be?"

You don't need to insult or belittle him, or blame him for the fact that you wanted more than was on offer. This is about you, not him, and how you can build your self-esteem and find some friends who will enrich your life.

Maybe I should just say that. Nothings up. I've Just decided I need to concentrate on me

That sounds good.

That sounds good.

oops

It's ok anyfucker we all make mistakes i should know

Aww, how old are you ? Are you in touch with your family ?

Im 25. Both parents passed away. No contact with toxic sister. No other family