Do you think married men more often just flirt for fun/ego boost or are they usually looking to cheat?

[theuniverseandstuff]

I know a guy who I have to have regular contact with through my job, he’s always been very friendly and since I’ve known him we have became friends but in the last couple of months he seems to have changed a bit and become more flirty.

There's been nothing really bad but he asked for my phone number and now sometimes texts me in the evenings and at weekends, he makes the odd suggestive comment and and has started some quite personal conversations about sex and stuff before and also once told me he had a dream about me but then refused to tell me what had happened in it.

We are both married, I know it's probably wrong as if I am honest I wouldn’t like my dh talking to someone like this I but have to admit I haven't really discouraged him although I have no intention of doing anything.

I’m just worried that he might think it’s more than it is and want to know whether he sees this as I do (a bit of harmless attention) or whether he is thinking/hoping something is going to happen

I know I am doing the right thing in this case but not sure I agree that all men who invest time in a friendship with a woman only want to get their leg over. Surely sometimes it can be a genuine friendship?

No. In my opinion. I have had male friends who have been married usually from work. It usually involves a drink or two on a Friday after work, a bitch about the boss and nice chit chat about what he and the wife are doing well that weekend. No sexual 'banter' and no out of office contact.
Every day texts and sexual references? You are either stupid or winding us up.

'Every day texts and sexual references? You are either stupid or winding us up'

I'm not winding you up and would like to think not stupid but when you put it like that in black and white it does look stupid

OP, there is no way on earth any man who texts another woman who isn't his wife every day is just looking for genuine friendship!! You are very naive if you think that. He is looking for extra marital sex and this is his route to getting it. If you genuinely want to discourage him, stop all contact.

I do genuinely want to discourage him and move it back to just normal friendship. It seems like that will be possible as have reduced contact a lot this week and he seems to have got the hint and has been very normal and nothing inappropriate

Good

I agree with theuniverseandstuff I have been involved in a text friendship for 3 months. The guy involved did flirt at the outset and then clearly told me he loved his wife and wasn't interested in more then friend. He then continued to text most days, sometimes several times a day about normal day to day stuff. I found it confusing and stopped the texting because i had my own issues to deal with and we were both married. But.. he was clear.. he wanted to flirt by text and be friends (secretly) but he wanted nothing more. (and yes i know it shouldn't have happened but it did and is over now).

He's fishing to see how far you'll go.

ZOMBIE THREAD FROM 2014