Am I just being paranoid?

[CrabsticksAndCheese]

I have been with OH near to five years now, I have a 6 year old son from a previous relationship. Can someone please tell me if I am just going through a faze of paranoia. Recently OH hasn't been answering my calls whilst he is out or returning them which is very unusual. When he come in last night I confronted him about it, his reply was "Well I'm home now, what was wrong?" And for the past 3 nights he hasn't been coming to bed with me at night he has been staying in the living room watching television until he falls asleep on the sofa. Things like this makes me feel as if he doesn't find me attractive anymore and doesn't want to be with me.

Also my son hasn't got a father, last month we spoke about having a child together (which is something the both of us would like to happen) he also said that he wants to be a father to my son and it would be a good idea if I changed his surname to his, so basically he wants to claim him as his own, I don't know if this would be a good idea or not, as DS knows that OH isn't his father.

Now I am really starting to question my relationship, how can I have another baby with someone I am finding hard to trust at the moment? There are a lot of other things that have happened which are raising my suspicions but I don't know whether it is me being paranoid or not.

Op , you need time and space to get your head around this and decide what you want to do. Ask him to leave . If he really cares for you he will respect your wishes.

I'm sorry Crabsticks, FWIW, even if he hasn't cheated; its no way to spend a life. Waiting for affection, over analysing "new" behaviours, spending every minute thinking over the possibilities while he's out/at work.

You sound lovely and very switched on, you deserve someone who wants to share their day, their bed and their life with you. Not leaving you hanging around on tenterhooks.

@QisforQcumber & @Doin.

Before carrying on down this avenue can I point out that Doxycycline is used for a vast range of purposes. Yes, that includes treatment for some STDs, but it's also used to treat everything from acne, respiratory tract infections, diarrhoea, urinary tract infections, gum disease, as an anti-malarial and the plague (fairly sure we can rule the latter out though!).

You can't be so judgemental on such a widely proscribed antibiotic.

Q Thanks, really upset and disappointed after this I don't think I'll ever allow another man in my house. Now I will have to explain to my child why He won't be living with us anymore, I never ever told him to treat my child as his own he choose to. Now I have to take it away from him, which will probably traumatise him as if he hasn't been through a lot already.

Audeca I did initially say that these pills are used for other illnesses.

He has just walked through the door

Op does your OH normally tell you if he is unwell and on antibiotics?

@Doinmummy

Sorry, my bad. Was narky at the way such broadly used drug being used as a smoking gun and didn't phrase that opening right.

@Myself

Or possibly I'm just losing the ability to write if my last post is anything to go by.

Anyway, OP, hope everything works out OK for you.

Have spoken to him, really upset and fuming. He said he wanted to tell me about what had happened but just couldn't bring himself to tell me as he knew I'd be hurt, he says he went to help a female friend paint her house, after smoking and Ciroc he didn't know what had happened until it was too late and how he thinks she put something in his drink. He has gone he said he is sorry and will give me some time alone to see if I can forgive him. I asked him to call the girl in question but he wouldn't because I need to know if what he is saying is true, because when I suggested he painted the kitchen he paid for someone else to come and do it. And if you are going to paint someone's house you wouldn't be going to drink and smoke, you'd be going there to get the job done.

Sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes using the iPad and can't think straight sorry

Crabsticks - you won't traumatise your son love. What's better? Modelling a healthy, happy relationship based on trust or staying with someone out of duty/lack of better option/fear of being alone? Your son may be upset now, that's understandable but love and loss are the lessons we learn while we are here. Better to model goof self respect and esteem than staying with someone unworthy because your son likes him. Your son would want better for you.

His story? Sounds like bullshit to me, but I think you already know that. If she has drugged him, then he should report it to the police and ensure she is brought to justice but I imagine his story has more holes in it than a string vest.

Goof self respect? Good. Ipad fingers!

He won't call the girl in question because you know -and we know - that his story is a crock of piss.
Well done for calling him on it and getting him out.
Please go and get a STI check asap

What ? A woman has drugged him ? For what end ? What fuckery is this ? Don't tell me you believe this shit ? And the clap pills, they were planed were they ?

*planted

I have to say I wouldn't believe his story. I think you need to get your head together and then sit down and talk to him and tell him you want the TRUTH, or there is no future in your relationship. You could say that you know he lied because he felt so guilty, but that the lies have to stop here and now. If the story you get still doesn't seem right, then I think you have no option but to call it a day. So sorry that you've had to go through this horrible situation.

Sorry it turned out that he is a cunt OP.
Well done for getting rid, aww bless, poor lamb was drugged - poor poor excuse.
Make sure you get tested.
Take care.

I know it's all a lie I'm just so hurt. I'd rather him just say "I slept with someone else" and the embarrassment of me having to go to the clinic, I've never had a STI in my life.

Crabsticks - what he has told you is a complete crock of shit. There's not a word of truth in it apart from the fact that there's a female in it. The rest of it is bollocks.

Love, I am sorry. the fact this bloke thinks you are stupid enough to swallow this bullshit speaks absolute volumes about how much respect he has for you. Cut him loose before he manages to make your arse think it is your elbow.

No no no!

Don,t change your son, s name to his and don,t ttc while in the dark about everything.

In my book as LP you got together with him quite soon after you had DS. Were you on the rebound?/scared to go it alone?

I would explore that (maybe counselling?) first.
Cos you could end up as LP to two....

iflyaway. No I wasn't on a rebound or scared to go at it alone, I wanted to go at it alone. I didn't want another man in my sons life.

What a crock of shit.

Can you forgive this OP? Do you believe it was just 1 woman 1 time?

No I can't forgive him and i don't believe it's a one off. He called me not long ago asking me if I can go with him to his hospital appointment he has to have biopsy. The cheek of him, I told him to ask HER to go with him. I'm raging I feel like burning all his clothes.

Pack up all his stuff and tell him to collect them tomorrow from the doorstep. get your key back off him if you havent got it already and get him out your life permanently.