When did you know it was over

[weekendgirl66]

So its not going quiet as the book said ( the nice soppy happy ever after), Not always bad, but not always good i know relationships change and after 18 years lord who knows how it started!! Is it just me, Just wondering, nothing major, but if you ended a relationship / marriage with noone else involved how did you know it was the end and how did you do it??

When my 9 year old son told me to shut up, I told him not to speak to me that way and he said 'why not Dad always does' That was the moment I knew I wouldn't be married for life. It took another year to separate mainly because my Ex-H refused to believe we didn't have a happy marriage. He may have done but I certainly didn't.

When he told me I was a slag because I was sexually abused at 16.

When I found out he was on several explicit, no strings-attached dating websites.

when I couldn't stand him touching me.

When we went out for a meal and couldn't manage a conversation between us that didn't develop into a disagreement.

Life's too short to be constantly at odds with your DP.

When he turned up to our 4 year olds birthday party still drunk from the night before after promising me he would only have a couple.

When he came home from his christmas do so pissed he shit himself.......all over DD bedroom (she was in my bed thank god), and hallway. Somehow the worst thing was that all his mates had left the pub hours before to return home to their families whilst he felt the need to stay. Living the dream. Wedding rings came off as soon as I finished clearing up.

My mum said it was when she was unhappy but had just stopped trying because she knew it couldn't change enough to be content.

when i got a 'phonecall from a man saying my husband was screwing his girlfriend.

oh dear.

it was just what i'd been waiting for. i could be rid of the bastard and have everyone on my side.

or possibly six months before that, when he'd tried to kill me.

When you lot helped me realise I was being manipulated and abused.

Two years on I am so happy

OP sorry don't have an answer but find myself asking the same question about DH.

When I was crying all the time. When I avoided going home after a run. When no matter what I was doing, no matter how much fun, I was only thinking about him and how unhappy his behaviour was making me feel.

When I used to dread the weekends because I couldn't stand his company :-( and when the thought of having sex (or even having any physical contact with him) turned my stomach.

When my pmt lasted 3 weeks out of 4 and revolved around how much I wanted to kill hurt him.
And when he made me feel sick with his attempts at foreplay.

When we had nothing to talk about, when we stopped sharing a bed, when he told my mam to fuck off and when he punched my stepdad when he lost interest in our daughter.

When I stopped caring - after a few years of him being a bully and emotionally abusive, I tried and tried and gave chance after chance, then one day I just stopped caring and gave up, even then he never did anything so I filed for divorce - life's much better without him:)

So much nasty stuff on here but I think my relationship is more like yours weekendgirl66...it's just gone stale. Not much bad but very little good. Not much lovin' or empathy there anymore. In fact...and this is so bad...I just wish he'd come out as gay or have an affair so I could get shot of him. As it is I think it's just going to be down to me to shut it down. Sigh...

When I knew that actually I wasn't in love with him anymore, and didn't want to have sex with him.

Mines a bit lighter but for me it was when he had a really bad toothache and he was in agony and I actually was more concerned about the fact his breath smelt awful and I had to share a bed with him. Of course that was the icing on what was already an awful cake but I just realised I didn't want him anywhere near me at all anymore.

i just want to cry i have so much holding me back from leaving but every reason to go,, i work self employed, look after the house do all the cleaning cooking, decorating, make all my own soft furnishings, care for everyone ( which i enjoy doing, so not moaning), in a row yesterday he said i was just after what i could get from the start and asked me what i contributed, Now he does work hard 5 days a week plays golf every Saturday, i think he has it good,, But i feel so so low,,, I need a HUG

When she said to me that she thought that sleeping with a married person behind the partner's back is sometimes okay.

Weekend girl...

Here's a virtual hug. Have you got a friend that you can talk this through with? Does he realise how low and unappreciated you feel?

What are the things keeping you from walking away?

There are lots of things holding me back, i have no finances im dependent on him, the little i earn i spend on food and our child, he has always paid the mortgage and bills!! I always to to keep the family together ( be it right or wrong and put a brave face on, which is doable by pretending its normal) But the reality is very very different i know, i also know the children being in a bad situation side of things,Im sure the day of things changing is getting very very close and im not on here to slate him and all the nasty stuff you see on some threads,, Just really do wonder about how people know and then do it!! I'd have to get £200 just for a solicitors consultation for half an hour,, what can they tell you in half an hour i would need a few days to share my side

You can get a solicitors free consultation. Have a look online or ask around friends.
Wrote down what is bothering you most. I'm sure there are other people here who can help you with good questions.

When he hit our 3yo so hard that I heard it across to the other end of the house, lied about it saying he hadn't touched him, then said "so I hit him, so what?" when I confronted him with the blazing red handprint on our 3yo DC who was sobbing and saying that Daddy hurt him. Writing on the wall, it was only really the planning from then on.

weekendgirl sending you PM.