When did you know it was over

[weekendgirl66]

So its not going quiet as the book said ( the nice soppy happy ever after), Not always bad, but not always good i know relationships change and after 18 years lord who knows how it started!! Is it just me, Just wondering, nothing major, but if you ended a relationship / marriage with noone else involved how did you know it was the end and how did you do it??

The moment you start thinking this is realistically the time to go. You don't need to tell your side or the story. The solicitor does not mind. It's just a business transaction for them. Be happy.

I realised that whenever I was ill, it was never as important as what he was going through. Looking after, caring for your spouse and having empathy when they're not well is a basic thing IMO.

Many other things besides the above too.

This is now making me cry, the sad realization that its all dead in the water, i don't love HIM ( what a great shame because he was my every reason for everything, maybe had he have told me he loves me more than once in our near 18 years i would still feel that way despite everything) , i love my family, maybe enough to show them the Happy Mommy They really do have, thank you all for your kind words, support and hugs, it has made my day seem a whole lot better

When he was just passed out drunk and talking gibberish for about three days non stop....... And told me he'd dump me if I went out of his flat.

I quietly packed a case without him noticing and sneaked out late at night.

He thought I should be grateful he was spending time with me.......

[in a casual dating situation]

When he said to me, "If I wanted to call you, I would."

Oh wrap dress,

What was your comeback?

When he became more like a cocklodger kling-on than an equal partner.

So he went

But OP you don't need loads of reasons for a solicitor to give very succinct advice on your situation. I'd do all the reasons why here or in RL with friends or family and the other stuff alongside it with the legal system.

when I asked the same question on mumsnet

When he referred to me and our DD as a 'duty'

Half an hour with a solicitor should not cost you 200.
I went to see one 2 weeks ago and got the first half hour free.
Anything after that is pro-rata based on a rate of 175 per hour!
You need to investigate more solicitors as this one is ripping you off.

You could also go and see CAB for free and maybe they can help point in the right direction.

He's told you ONCE in 18 years!? Wow that is just awful. I couldn't stand that.

I'd also be totting up how much a cleaner would cost, along with a CM or nanny. A cook, a taxi service, a dry cleaners, a gardener, a soft furnishings company, etc...... You'll be truly amazed at how much you have and do actually contribute.
He sounds like an ungrateful arse.

Oh wrap dress,

What was your comeback?
__
I don't remember what I said - this was a long time ago - but it was one of those light bulb moments. I never forgot it and have never chased a man since. Now I figure, if a man is interested in me, he will let me know. I guess I was thinking I needed to behave in a certain way in order to get him to like me and want me - like I had to convince him to like me because I liked him. I was young and stupid.

If I push a relationship (chase a man) the chances are good the man will indeed have sex with me because men like sex even if they aren't interested in a long term relationship, but the relationship will be short because it was never supposed to happen in the first place.

I actually thought if I could convince a man to have sex with me, that must mean they like me and would want a relationship. hahahahahaha

Wrapdress What wise words.

When he worked away I didn't miss him, and looked forwards to the time alone. Didn't fancy him anymore, almost everything he did/said annoyed me. Can't believe I tried to make it work for so long

Oh god, reading this is hard. So many reasons all ring true for me, I can't stand him touching me and I dread sex. But how do I actually tell him? I've got the same financial issues (reliant on him) so how on earth can I financially survive on my own with 2 kids? This is so hard

I was sat at home last night on facebook. I had put a post on about my annoyance at having to wait so long for a hospital appointment for my DS. I realised that I hadn't even told my DH about it. He wasn't aware that my son is even waiting. We don't really talk anymore and he shows no real interest in the kids. He gets up goes to work, comes home and plays on his phone or ipod. Moans if I ask him to help with the kids or household chores. I work too! He is lazy and grumoy all the time and has no patience with the kids. We argue alot and he shouts at the kids all the time. I know this is probably because he is as unhappy as me and does do a stressful job. When he is away with work I am relieved as its easier for me and the kids are happier. I don't think either of us wants to be the one to end it but I'm not sure how much longer I can go on living this unhappy life. We are all mierable and my childrens behaviur relects the unhappy house :-(