I tend to go by the saying if your old enough to have sex you are old enough to talk about it.
Think there are a few issues here op to be honest.
Is it that YOU are not happy with the silent samey kind of sex or that BOTH of you are not happy with the silent samey kind of sex. Is the big issue to be honest. Because if your both not happy then great and its an easier thing to broach, if however, you DH is happy and YOU are not then it can be trickier to broach.
What is it you REALLY want? boil it down to single words, kinky, talking dirty, role play, anal etc. etc. etc.
Has there been even one occasion when DH has curled your toes and done something you really liked and would like more of?
If so then NOT in bed, and when you are both able to talk, feel calm ect, all you need to do is say something like "hey remember x,y,z time we we/ you did a,b,c That was sooo hot, I still get off thinking about it. You fancy trying it again?" its positive but also helps to guide him into what you like.
If you want to spice things up a bit, then what turns you DH on? Do you know? Does he like, stockings suspends, kinky lingerie, etc etc. Then how about wearing something that turns him on and then being a little provocative? eg, the next time you are out for a meal, try winding him up a bit, playing footsie under the table etc. etc. Whispering what you want to do him when you get home etc. Bet you don't get to as far as desert.
In a loving caring relationship, talking about sex should be as easy as talking about anything. All you have to do is find the words.
"So how about we play around with some toys". Might be easier start with something like foreplay dice (basically body parts on one dice and instructions on the other) they are fairly no threatening to anyone but are a good start and since the whole idea is too do what they dice tell you it might open up new avenues. There is loads of different types of dice have a look here www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=22274 keyboard issues mean you will have to copy and paste.
There are also some great board games (don't be fooled) have a look at " Monogamy: A Hot Affair" and "Nookii" both good starting points to having fun, trying a few different things, no threating, and can be Oh So hot, they would help you open up conversations into other things you'd like to try.
If all else fails then "DH, I love you BUT sex has got a bit samey for me and I want to try x,y,z like a,b,c is there anything you would like to try. Is probably your best bet"
Yes btw couples do talk about sex, DP and I talk about, when we are doing it, when we are thinking about it, when we want to try new things, when one of nips to the shops - the other has been known to text etc. We as a result have a great sex life that works for BOTH of us and I have never been happier!
The hardest thing to do is to start the first conversation, but doing it ohhhh so worth it!