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Original poster

date with children/child present?...

43 replies

heyho1919 · 29/05/2014 08:51

I guy I saw a few times a while ago has been back in touch and wants to meet again. As he has noone to loo after his child this weekend he's asked if i want to go for dinner with him AND his child (9 yrs). He also suggested that I take mine( 7 yrs) with me and pretend he was an old work collegaue. Not sure about this on a number of levels. Any thoughts?

OP posts:
Ragwort · 29/05/2014 08:55

No, totally unsuitable, the fact you have doubts means you know it isn't really appropriate.

Original poster
heyho1919 · 29/05/2014 08:57

Feels wrong to me that he's asking me to effectively lie to my ds. Also would be hard to speak comfortably with either of the children around!

OP posts:
bouncinbean · 29/05/2014 08:58

Not something I would want to do.
You say it's been a while so why the urgency to do something this weekend - surely it can wait a bit longer.
Or is there something more at the back of your mind about this?

bouncinbean · 29/05/2014 08:59

And for some reason I didn't take in the tell a lie bit - so wrong.

Original poster
heyho1919 · 29/05/2014 09:00

Bouncin that was my thinking too - it's been 5 months or so since i saw him so could easily wait a week or 2!

OP posts:
brokenhearted55a · 29/05/2014 09:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bouncinbean · 29/05/2014 09:34

I think your senses are warning you off.
So many things (and some are my cynical interpretation)
Not been in touch for a long time - playing the field so wasn't that bothered about you that he left it for so long
Has to be this weekend - got blown out is trying to sort something else at last minute and looked through his 'little black book'
Doesn't put his child first and wants to drag them along on dates, why not just spend time with the kid this weekend
Is comfortable lying, and even more so lying in front of his children on something that is bound to come out as a lie.

littlegreenlight1 · 29/05/2014 09:35

When dp and I were ready to introduce our children, we had a "date" at a farm so the kids were entertained all day, we could chat, they had a brilliant time and so did we and it confirmed that even with both having kids, we could build a relationship.
That's what I wanted to tell you but your situation sounds weird! Tell him to just wait until he has a babysitter!

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 29/05/2014 09:36

FFs no!

CarCiKoTab · 29/05/2014 09:41

I wouldn't do it obviously he's not ready to introduce you officially either. Just schedule for a different time that he can get a babysitter. Littlegreenlight1 has the right idea Grin

Only1scoop · 29/05/2014 09:42

No.... Would put me off him.

FantasticButtocks · 29/05/2014 09:56

I don't understand why he wants you to pretend he is a work colleague. Confused Am I missing something?

Original poster
heyho1919 · 29/05/2014 10:02

Thanks for all th replies. When we saw eachother before, it was just for "normal" dates - drinks/dinner 0 just the 2 of us. I broke it off - he also doesn't like me to drink much so suggested added that a date this way would keep me off alcohol !!

I have a pretty set idea in my head that when my child meets any dates, it will be after a good few months of seing eachother and when i feel confident it's likely to be a lasting relationship. I find the whole pretence thing uncomfortable.
I also have a feeling it's because with another woman he saw, tyey got on fine but the kids didn't - and that was the end of it

OP posts:
littlegreenlight1 · 29/05/2014 10:04

He doesn't like you to drink too much? Are you a massive alcoholic monster that humiliates him in public? He sounds a bit of a twat!

Original poster
heyho1919 · 29/05/2014 10:10

Not at all Littlegreenlight! I did get a bit tipsy the last time we went out but certainly not falling around causing any embarassment!!

OP posts:
littlegreenlight1 · 29/05/2014 10:12

That's hilarious then! Do you like him?

brokenhearted55a · 29/05/2014 10:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
heyho1919 · 29/05/2014 10:23

IHe's quite good company but i don't fancy him. He just texted recently me how online dating was going and i replied not so good.

OP posts:
FantasticButtocks · 29/05/2014 10:29

he also doesn't like me to drink too much

Whaaaat? Bloody hell, who does he think he is, your father?

And you don't fancy him?

Now I've forgotten what the dilemma is...

Original poster
heyho1919 · 29/05/2014 10:34

I know, sounds ridiculous!! However mostly he was quite good company

OP posts:
QueenofallIsee · 29/05/2014 10:39

Errrm, you are not so hard up that you have to go out with a bloke you don't fancy who feels comfortable telling you what to do are you?

Thought not.

akaWisey · 29/05/2014 10:40

Very inappropriate, dishonest and unfair to both DC's. This is a man who who has overstepped the boundaries and he'll continue to do so if you let him.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 29/05/2014 10:41

Controlling wanker. Are you really considering seeing him again???

akaWisey · 29/05/2014 10:41

Oh, and if you don't even fancy him it's a no-brainer surely?

CogitoErgoSometimes · 29/05/2014 10:42

If you want to be friends with someone, be friends. Gender shouldn't really matter. Don't call it 'a date' and certainly don't lie but if you want to meet up as a family with his family and all have a fun meal together, why would it be a problem?