Any other bi/lesbian mums out there?.... Feeling rather alone.

[merlotguzzler]

Hello

You may wonder why I haven't posted this on the lesbian/gay parents board, but to be perfectly honest, it's dead! So I'm hoping I'll have more luck here.

I'm 30, bi sexual and have a 7 year old DD from a previous relationship. I have a gf who I've been with for a year now.

Where I live is quite conservative and I don't know any other bi/gay people...........atall! I know we're not the only ones! But sometimes, I have to say, it feels like it. Also, living in this kind of area, we get a lot of disapproving looks and comments. Not nice as you can imagine, or possibly relate to. Also, we're both very feminine (especially me) and this seems to throw people completely! Some people (mainly men tbf) can't seem to accept that we're actually a couple. Quite insulting really. Anyway, brief rant over......for now

I looked in to local groups/meet ups etc, but tbh, I didn't really like the sound of any of them, so thought I'd see who's about on here.

Would be great to hear back from any like minded women out there.

Thanks ladies.

hopeful bump

bump :)

Thanks onetired

Really? No one?....

Search Lesbian mums on Facebook, there's a fairly large group following on there :-)

I'm bi but in a long term relationship with a man. I tend to get people who just 'don't believe I'm really bisexual' because I have a 2 year old. So hello. waves

Hi! Married to a woman & we've an almost 1yo girl. We're in Dublin so not that conservative. Sorry people are bugging you

Hi OP, my wife and i live in Scotland. So sorry you are getting comments! It's 2014 for goodness sake. Where roughly are you?

Glabella, hello

Reiltin, it's not your fault Just wished it wasn't an issue for anyone anymore. I know that we've moved on quite a bit recently, for example, the legalisation of gay marriage, which was a huge step forward. Maybe I'm expecting too much, too soon. I guess when you think about where we were even 20 years a go, we've come a long way. Did you marry recently? Or did you have a civil partnership? .....if you don't mind me asking that is.

Error, yep. It's sometimes a little depressing. We live in the midlands, although we'll be moving a bit further south fairly soon. How are attitudes up there?

As in, in Scotland.....

I honestly have to say we have never had any problems. Not one single comment in the 7 years I have been a parent. Only a couple of homophobic contents in the 16 years I have been out. Both times in big cities. I now live in a small coastal town. You would assume it was the opposite!

Error, you really would. It's nice to hear.

hmm dunno i live in a small yorkshire town with one would imagine attitudes to match. It has a small out gay 'community' many of whom I'm friendly with. Pretty much to a man (i can only speak for gay men as they're my friends) they all say they have had no bother at all in many years of living in this town. (makes me quite proud really)

Getthe, I can understand why you'd be proud. Don't get me wrong, it's not constant negativity, but when we do encounter bigoted fuckwits people, it's usually pretty bad.

Really hope wherever we move to next, is as open minded and tolerant as where you are.

My gf and I have been living together for just over a year in an outer area of NW London. We each have a child from a previous relationship. We have many people give us shocked looks but no one has ever said anything or been unkind to us. That said, although we usually will hold hands, there are times we choose not to to avoid problems e.g. walking past a roughish pub around leaving time.

London (central) is very much fine and people barely bat an eyelid. It's fab.

Bubbles, I understand why you'd avoid holding hands under those kind of circumstances. You have to weigh it up don't you. Sometimes it's just not worth the potential problems.

My sister and her now husband, used to live in central London and I loved how 'anything goes' it was. I would be much more comfortable to walk around holding hands with my gf there.

Formerly married to a man, 3 kids, now identify as gay. Would love to meet other women in similar circs. Not in a relationship with anyone at the moment (but have had a couple of female relationships since coming out).

I was walking through my neighbourhood (South London) behind a mixed-race lesbian couple who were hand in hand one day last year, and it just made me happy to live somewhere that they can be publicly in love without anyone seeing anything out of the ordinary in it.

I'm sorry you feel surrounded by people who don't get it. I wish everywhere were as accepting as it is around here. If I ever get stared at for any reason, I smile and wave and say 'Morning!' in my cheeriest voice.

Rudy, no. I guess it's just that the kind of groups I'd been looking into maybe joining before, just didn't sound like my thing and with mumsnet being so busy, I just thought it would be a good idea to see who's around on here.

merlot, I think I posted on your other thread - we've found the site below to be really useful, and have met lots of gay parents in our local area through it. I hate going to new groups usually, but I think because everyone feels a bit in the same boat, it's always been really friendly and as someone said on your other thread, it's really nice to just be able to talk about your own family set up without having to feel like you're coming out all the time - everyone's been there and gets it. The best bit for me though is seeing the children being around so many other alternative families. Hope this helps.

lesbiangayparents.ning.com

InOtherNews, I posted on relationships and chat, because I wasn't really sure where to put this kind of thread......so I opted for both!

I completely get what you meant about it being nice to see dc's being around alternative families. A great worry for me is that DD might get bullied because her mum has a gf. I would love for her to maybe make a little friend of her own, who can relate.

Thanks for the link.

We haas a civil partnership in the British Embassy in Dublin almost 5 years ago, then a fancy rings/dresses/vows day the next day

Well a very belated congratulations then Reiltin

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