Tell me about your mother

[Aqualegia]

I was at an Arts' Festival on Sunday and met Tracey Kershaw, who is currently running a project entitled "Tell Me About Your Mother"

traceykershaw.co.uk/projects/tell-me-about-your-mother/

People were invited to sit in a comfy chair, give a few moments' thought to their mother, write a few words and then post them (anonymously) into a box. Tracey then printed out a few onto a calico material and hung them on a washing line (looked incredible).

It was strangely moving for me. I ended up writing something like, "She came from a long line of mothers who didn't enjoy being mothers. By being brave and honest enough to admit this to me, she enabled me to transform the future of that line" ... which is better than my usual lazy condemnation of her limited mothering capacity.

Over to you. Imagine it on a washing line, flapping gently in a nice breeze :)

I always felt loved. Now she is here in body but not in mind I miss her greatly.

My revolting excuse for a mother (who would get pregnant any time a bloke took his socks off!) had 6 children to 3 different fathers, and she perpetrated and enabled abuse and neglect upon all of us, before abandoning most to the tender mercies of the State. We all ended up with multitudinous psychological and physical scars, trying to piece together lives of some value from the pile of s**t which was her legacy. Most ironic is that she herself came from a safe, happy home, so as fortune would have it her mother gave us the only sanctuary and decent parenting we ever had, so all credit to my amazing, incredible, wonderful Gran.

Unsurprisingly, myself and all my surviving siblings are NC with our toxic mother, so she will most likely die a solitary and lonely death in some isolated hospice in due course. Any time now would be good! Not that I'm bitter or twisted or anything.... Need to work on forgiveness of some kind, it is eating me up, but I just don't know where to start with her.

Oops! Sorry for duplicate post!

She died last month and I miss her terribly.

She worked hard, played hard, loved a bit of craic and a party.

She fought two major illnesses with true dignity.

She loved her dd's equally and unconditionally and I will be forever happy that she lived long enough to know she was a Granny.

I love you Mum. Happy Birthday for Sunday. Xxxxx

Full blown narc, to the extent where her reaction to me wanting to go out to the park when I was young was to take "overdoses" and scream at me that she would die and it was all my fault. I would go out genuinely thinking (sometimes hoping which is an awful thing to admit) that she would be dead when I got back. I realised at the age of 10 she was actually putting vitamins in her mouth.

FFF x

The smartest woman I know. Powerful intellect, yet always humble about it (perhaps to her detriment at times). Still passionately interested in the outside world - in people, politics, art, ideas - in to her old age.

The first feminist I knew.

Loves us unconditionally. My biggest supporter.

No hair dye available in the fifties, she used Gravy Browning and we laughed when she perspired and it ran down her face.That's what she was like, impulsive,a mad knitter, always had the needles on the go, loved to read, was always thinking up new projects, dancing to the radio full of life.She was a loving mother who was kind,and had strong principals, she would do anyone a favour.She made Christmas cakes in Oct.and my father would persuade her to let us eat them, so she had to make more of course.I was 15yrs old when she had a Sudden Heart attack and died when she was only 46.I have missed her all my life, and wished she had been there when I married and had my clever son. I am nearly 70 years old now.I have never forgotten her, I keep her memory alive 53 years later, I will never forget her.

Loving. Intelligent. Beautiful. Very generous with her time, love and affection. Successful but very humble. Supportive. Understanding. Always concerned for my well-being. Simply the most important person in my life.

Loving. Intelligent. Beautiful. Very generous with her time, love and affection. Successful but very humble. Supportive. Understanding. Always concerned for my well-being. Simply the most important person in my life.

Loving. Intelligent. Beautiful. Very generous with her time, love and affection. Successful but very humble. Supportive. Understanding. Always concerned for my well-being. Simply the most important person in my life.

Complicated, hard to understand and always a tiny bit broken. She had a hard start in life, was let down and hurt by those who should have protected her. She was 'saved' & loved, but never in a demonstrative way. This made her unable to demonstrate affection towards us.

She did her best, we survived a war of wills in my teens.

We finally got to the stage of me being a grown up, and forging a strong relationship. Then you died.

my mother was a drunken, drugged up sorry excuse for a parent. Absent most of the time and entirely disinterested when present. Spiteful, resentful and bone idle. My 'real' mother figure was my grandmother and frankly I think the sun shined out her ar*e, wonderwoman had nothing on her and an enormous void was left behind in many peoples hearts and lives when she left this earth.

my mother was a drunken, drugged up sorry excuse for a parent. Absent most of the time and entirely disinterested when present. Spiteful, resentful and bone idle. My 'real' mother figure was my grandmother and frankly I think the sun shined out her ar*e, wonderwoman had nothing on her and an enormous void was left behind in many peoples hearts and lives when she left this earth.

Oops, sorry, no idea why this has been posted three times. Apologies.

Loving patient gentle kind and utterly devoted firstly to my DF and a long way second to her 4 DC. Never gets angry but sometimes retreats with a migraine when it all gets too much for her. And her joints always hurt most when she is stressed. A somatiser!
Sent us all away to boarding school at 7,8,9 for our own good, and let us grow up detached and independent from each other. Not close or attached parenting and often too busy supporting DF to come and help when I needed her most.
Treats toddlers and pets with great respect and asks their opinion and preferences which can be insane! Nice to everybody tramps and criminals and druggies alike.
Now she is old she and DF are more attentive, want more company and more support from us and we are all closer and show more affection as a family. Repeats her stories over and over and doesn't listen!

Best gift she gave me - the knowledge that sex is fun and should be enjoyed throughout life even by pensioners! TMI Mum!
I love her very much and I know she has always done her best. I hope I am even half as loving and patient as her.

Oh God. These are all making me weep.

The happy and the sad.

Xxxx and {{{{{{ hugs to everyone }}}}}

Oh God. These are all making me weep.

The happy and the sad.

Xxxx and {{{{{{ hugs to everyone }}}}}

My memory of my mother as a child is that she was always baking, the house was always spotless.
She kept me off school to go and see art exhibitions and then go for a high tea.
She always told me I was special.
Her relationship with my Dad taught me otherwise. He was very abusive, she allowed him to be horrible to my sister and I. She never left. We were all scared of him. She cleaned a lot then she left when I was 18 and my sister was 15.
Since then I'm not sure who my mother is. She tells so many lies and is a complete narcissist. Every conversation comes back to her and nothing surprises me anymore considering the whoppers she's told in the past.
I love her dearly but she's hard work. I'm the parent in our relationship and I wish she could be the mother and take control of a situation without it turning into a circus.
Being in her company exhausts me and I try really hard to make sure she doesn't affect my dcs.

I'm feeling spectacularly envious of those with amazing mothers and ashamed at my attitude considering those who are missing theirs.

alikat724 lets hope ours never meet - or the world will be in trouble then

My mum deserved so much better from her own drunken abusive mother. Mum is so clever and could have achieved so much had her mum been supportive and nurturing, instead of ordering her to fail the 11+ (among other parenting fails).

She has zero self confidence, but despite the awfulness of her upbringing she is a great mum. Kind, loving, determined to be everything her mum wasn't. Supportive of all we do, I've always felt loved. She adores the DC and her one regret is that we don't live closer together now so she can spend more time with us all.

She has made me feel totally loved my whole life, and has done the same for my siblings. Never judges, just guides you to the correct answers. I am 41 and still need my mum.

Yes, I know just what you mean Trooperslane.Reading all these posts including my own makes me sad too. xxx

Some of your mums sound amazing.

she should never have had kids