Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

why am I so bloody angry?

62 replies

kidsndogs · 14/05/2014 00:55

XH left me 5 years ago for OW, i was happy about it after the initial shock (he was EA and controlling) Moving forward i'm in a wonderful relationship with a good man but i'm still so bloody angry. I occasionally browse FB i'm not on it personally (i know i know) XH appears to be happy and it makes my blood boil, i just cant seem to let go of the crap he did to me fgs why?

OP posts:
kidsndogs · 15/05/2014 13:09

XH would never EVER consider therapy, he is and always will be a great guy and a fabulous catch!

The whole relationship breakdown was completely my fault took me a long period of self examination to see the truth,

It was not me.

I did not bully him.

I did not cheat on numerous occasions (at least twice to my knowledge and probably many more that he considered "not good enough" to leave me for.)

OP posts:
doziedoozie · 15/05/2014 13:24

Enjoyingmy, well hopefully it is worth sticking it out. DH working away at present so I am on my own and must admit to enjoying it though evenings and wknds can be quiet.

Many 'problems' were due to my low self esteem, poor socialising skills, but I blamed them on DH (but he was also thoughtless and workaholic at times). But I think you are attracted to what you think someone is, influenced by your upbringing and parents, and, as most people don't really know themselves until well into life, there is a changing relationship as you both mature, or not as the case may be, and likely to be friction at times.

But I am making 'selfish' decisions now, and choosing to do what I want to do, when you have DCs your choices are limited. The situation is v different once DCs have left home. So I hope to have my own life after retirement (soon) and DH's his but within our happy marriage.

kidsndogs · 15/05/2014 13:29

Oh living he would not recognize me now!

I am almost who i used to be prior to meeting him.

DP commented the other day i'm just as feisty now as the girl he knew at school and he loves it and it was worth the wait. Grin

I have an opinion now.

I call people out if i feel they are wrong.

I can stand my ground and not shake like a leaf.

I have confidence i care about myself again.

I am surrounded by people that love me and care about me.

I am so glad he thought she was better than me because I KNOW she is not.

OP posts:
FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 15/05/2014 13:39

Kids :o

Hold on to all of that.

My XH ascribes motivations to my actions that do not exist. It's very clear to see that he is projecting :)

I'm a money grabber (I left with less that half of everything, I just wanted out; money couldn't be less of a motivation, whereas he cannot talk about anything other than how much he earns), I'm hurting the dcs (by having to explain that it's not their fault he's forgotten them, again), I'm selfish and have made all my decisions for me and not for the dcs (everything I do is motivated by what my dcs need, he can't even remember their birthdays).

The most amazing thing in the world for me was being in a proper relationship. (XH of course told me no one would want me, and that I had unrealistic expectations of a couple) it turns out it is possible for people to actually care for each other, and to want to do things to make the other person happy! Who knew?

If it wasn't showboating that he could brag about, he wasn't interested in doing things for anyone else. The dcs aren't people in their own right, he's only interested in having them when there's an audience for him to "show off how great he is".

Ooh that turned into a rant. Sorry!

kidsndogs · 15/05/2014 13:48

Rant away! I feel this thread has done me the world of good!

I thought it was a bit weird to get all pissy over FB apparently not Grin

The only excuse my XH could come up with was a lack of sex in the marriage, he had no idea why Hmm.

He tried to get back with me about a year after he left (i guess she wasn't being compliant at the time).

I told him I would rather sleep on a park bench than ever let him touch me again.

He looked gobsmacked, just didn't get it Hmm

OP posts:
FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 15/05/2014 14:03

Kids :o

Ah yes, the predictable attempt to rekindle.

XH asked me if I'd like to sleep with him about 6 months after we split. I think he framed it as, "we both have needs, and with work and things, it could be really convenient for us. Of course it wouldn't mean getting back together."

I laughed and said, "You may not find the time with work etc., but I can't say I've found it a problem. I can't imagine anything worse."

That was the last time I met him face to face to discuss anything.

kidsndogs · 15/05/2014 14:23

Wow I am beginning to think these two guys might be related Shock

Did they both read the same book or something?

The title must have been "the bullies guide to maintaining control and destroying personalities" or similar.

Funnily enough the park bench comment was the last thing i ever said to XH face to face.

OP posts:
FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 15/05/2014 14:51

:o

There's definitely a Guidebook to Fuckwittery out there somewhere. It always amazes me how similar other people's experiences are.

MrsIrony · 15/05/2014 23:23

I have so enjoyed reading this thread. I too thought I was in a mutually abusive relationship. That is to say, I withdrew but my husband accused me of abusing him by that very act of withdrawal.

For me the truth of it was that I found pretty early on that discussions or arguments were not allowed to be ended until he had 'won' the argument. This would entail following me from room to room, smashing down doors, smashing up furniture and thumping holes in walls. There were just too many occasions when the argument was purely about the need for a new toy or a hobby. I learnt pretty early on not to admit to wanting something because, sure as is eggs is eggs, that something would get sabotaged, including my desire for children.

So yes, out of lack of feeling loved, I withdrew, emotionally and physically. At the end of our marriage he accused me of EA by ignoring him and staying out of his way. Chicken and egg is a very poignant comment that Magic makes.

However, since our break up, despite my ex being deliriously happy in his relatively new relationship (just a few months) he has continued to bombard me with accusations of jealousy, spite, emotional instability and has continually attempted to embroil me in his new relationship which I have no interest in. I don't have young children so there is no need to be concerned about the other person and how she treats my child. My child is almost an adult and sees it for what it is. I am validated in my feelings when my child confides in me that they feel bullied and manipulated by their dad too. Bullying and emotional abuse, not much between them really is there?

The thing about bullies is that they are normally the first to accuse others of bullying them.

Emotional abuse can be so incredibly subtle. Isolating one from friends and family by insinuating that those friends and family are against you and making you feel the only person you can trust is your abuser. That is a classic and one that I have suffered over the years, more aggressively since our break up, but very subtly throughout our marriage.

Sabotage of anything that might have enabled me to be more independent (making my working/domestic life balance so difficult for me it resulted me in giving up jobs). Does that ring any bells with anyone? If it does, and you weren't sure you were with an abuser, think again. I've done a lot of work and a lot of soul searching and I know where I stand on it now for sure.

MargotThreadbetter · 16/05/2014 00:36

Very interesting and thought provoking perspectives!

There seems to be a common thread of fuckwittery in all these men.

The damage done to me was so insidious that it now makes my blood boil when he tries to start on me these days (via contact with DS). It's taken me a long time to get to where I am now and no way is that arse going to try to knock me down again.
Of course that drives him mad.

Currently it's led to a complete breakdown in communication that ex has now blamed on me because I've said I won't deal with him if he's abusive or bullying.
Hence, I'm the one who will be responsible for the lack of relationship with his son Hmm

Ex has resorted to type and OW was significantly younger, foreign, needy and very reliant on him. He's back in his comfort zone.

MexicanSpringtime · 16/05/2014 03:07

I think the reason kids and fuckyou stayed way too long in their EA relationships is the same reason that Magic has for doubting the very existence of EA. It is comparatively subtle and can be very hard to describe and put your finger on.

A dear friend of mine lasted eleven years in an emotionally abusive relationship to the point that it was only when it turned out that it was making her seriously ill that she managed to get out. Unfortunately her family do not understand the concept of emotional abuse, if she was hit, what is she complaining about.

FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 16/05/2014 07:23

I think you're right. There was certainly an element of "we can fix this". I tried everything and couldn't work out why all the changes I made never helped. Even the marriage counsellor, after only two sessions, said that she couldn't help us because he wasn't willing to change, and was constantly being caught out in lies and contradictions.

Is the new woman being foreign also a theme?! Shock

New posts on this thread. Refresh page