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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I have a 'crush' and I'm not sure how to proceed....

92 replies

Shoegal0305 · 11/05/2014 23:37

Ok so I've been single for, like, forever. Happily too it has to be said. Had a few disastrous flings which strengthened my desire to be single.

A few weeks ago, a guy was in my workplace, fixing something electrical. He just seemed lovely, very smiley, chatty and, well, just nice. I offered to make him a cup of tea and started chatting...... Turns out we have a few mutual friends thru another one of his jobs (he does two jobs!). I mentioned him to one mutual friend (male) who reiterated what a nice guy he was but I didn't want to ask anymore as unsure whether he is single? He doesn't have a wedding ring on but I know that doesn't mean anything?

Last week I was driving thru town and I saw him again, on his own. Fast forward to today and I saw him in the supermarket, again alone, as was I. He was friendly and lovely and was like 'oh hiya blah blah blah'. I was pleasantly surprised he even remembered me! I chatted for a while and that was that.

So my dilemma is do I ask my mutual friend about him and if do what do I say without sounding 'desperate'???? If he turns round and says oh he's married or oh he has a partner etc I will look stupid???

Ps can you tell I've been out of play for ages?!!!Wink

OP posts:
MadeMan · 15/05/2014 18:17

You should be okay then with two independent conspirators. Smile

MadeMan · 15/05/2014 18:18

Could be worth putting in a word about the nuggets then. Grin

catbus · 15/05/2014 18:32

Ooo, OP I am rooting for you. And marking my place very, very shamelessly Grin
I love a good bit of new lurve Wink

BitOutOfPractice · 15/05/2014 18:42
Shoegal0305 · 15/05/2014 18:43

I'm going to be sooooo disappointed if he's not single!!! Xx

OP posts:
Maisie0 · 15/05/2014 18:53

I'll get the ice cream. Is Carte Dor okay ?
Madagascan Vanilla okay too ? Wink

MadeMan · 15/05/2014 18:58

The suspense in this thread is similar to the one that time where the OP was writing notes on postcards and leaving them on the bloke's computer at work and him never seeing them because he was always throwing them away with all the chinese takeaway menus that somebody kept putting on his keyboard and then she went on a fortnights holiday to Butlins.

Disclaimer: It might not have been two weeks in Butlins.

Maisie0 · 15/05/2014 19:07

I think it is so cute. :)

It reminds me of a guy at work ages ago where he kept walking into my dept and kept staring at me til someone told me he is walking past, so I looked and he bumped into the concrete post in the middle of the room. (Yes, it did happen...) Everyone just stared at him.

I think this low key way is actually good. :) Not tooooo obvious. ;)

VitoCorleone · 15/05/2014 19:52
Grin
Atbeckandcall · 15/05/2014 20:01

He's better be bloody single. I've invested rather a lot of emotion into this! Wink

Shoegal0305 · 15/05/2014 20:03

You don't think I'm jumping the gun? He may just be a friendly guy? There's no guarantee he's gonna be interested anyway even if he's single? God can't you tell I've been out of the dating game for, like, ever!!!! My friend just been in touch she IS on nights and hasn't had time to even look up yet let alone ask anything! So in for a long wait Hmm

OP posts:
Shoegal0305 · 15/05/2014 20:03

AtBeckandCall GrinGrin

OP posts:
Batmam · 15/05/2014 20:20

Marking place, I love these type of threads I get all giddy like the OP...good luck!

Maisie0 · 15/05/2014 21:03

I don't think you're jumping the gun, if you feel it, you feel it. He could be a friendly guy but we don't know if he likes you or that he is a decent guy. We'll just have to see. (Yeh, I wrote "we"... hehe...) No you haven't. Cos don't you feel like this is almost similar to the movie Grease ? Girls huddle and chit chat it's what we do. Then you still have to act a bit cool when you see him to see if he likes you too. I like the stealth mode that you're operating at the moment by the way. ;) Good job.

This is real isn't it. It's better than any Disney movie. Grin I just hope he won't be shellshocked if he ever finds out that like a whole mega forum is behind this operations. Haha.

Shoegal0305 · 15/05/2014 21:20

MaisieO thankyou I find you all really helpful and encouraging! I don't have any family and as I've said single mum to a son so all 'girly chat' most welcome!!! Smile

I hold down a really good challenging job and when I'm a work I'm really confident but when I'm at home I wouldn't say boo to a goose! (Has anyone ever done that!?). My confidence in men has been really rocked due to a series of disastrous flings with men who didn't give a s**t! I've been happily single and I'm in a rut..... The thought of being intimate with someone petrifies me as does letting someone see my flaws! But I really did feel a spark with this guy and it felt good! Smile

OP posts:
Maisie0 · 15/05/2014 21:37

See ? You don't know what will come of it, and the thing is, even if this person doesn't work out, I think you are now a bit ready right ? Cos you sound like you are enjoying this process... and it is good to feel giddy... (you just don't tell it to the guy just yet. lol.)

To be honest, I also enjoyed this thread too. Smile
It's one of those situation that you do someone else to see it for you. Cos you cannot see it ? Well, you got lots of wingwomen here, so it is good.

I've also had male bosses who tried to set me up before cos I was too plonky to see the obvious. Reading this thread did bring back memories for me too. So thank you for making this. He probably got scared cos I waffled so much and I took him handbag shopping. Oops but never mind. It's whether you had fun that counts. :)

As I posted to a friend's FB recently.
"If date, say yes. If work, say just a minute."

This is also better too from her friend, which I love.
"Say yes if he is buying, say no if you don't like him, ask for more if it's delicious, agree for a pay rise" Grin

MadeMan · 15/05/2014 22:05

"Cos don't you feel like this is almost similar to the movie Grease ?"

Yep, I always click my fingers to get my best mate to hand me my comb and light my cigarette.

FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 15/05/2014 22:09

Hope you get the answer that you want and sparks fly :o

not marking place at all, oh no, not me, that's not something I would ever do

Ratbagcatbag · 15/05/2014 22:11

Awwww, this coud be ace, hope he's single, hunky and secretly getting the goss on you. :)

Shoegal0305 · 15/05/2014 22:48

I'm just about to start a run of 12 hour shifts so please excuse me if I'm quiet but the MINUTE I hear anything you guys will be the first to know.......... Confused

OP posts:
SnotandBothered · 15/05/2014 23:16

Shameless marking Grin

strawberryangel · 15/05/2014 23:26

Absolutely marking my place! God luck OP!

strawberryangel · 15/05/2014 23:26

Good sorry, not God!

Sleepyfergus · 15/05/2014 23:33

Shameless marking too. I feel all giddy for you OP!

Maisie0 · 15/05/2014 23:34

Good luck ! :D