Dp's depression

[MistletoeBUTNOwine]

Have posted before about dp, He's depressed. Won't see gp for help as he's also a doctor and is ADAMANT that he will lose his job and registration if diagnosed. Therefore we won't be able to afford the mortgage if he's not working. We have 4 mo DS and my dd from prev relationship.
Today we had a big family BBQ with friends too, was lovely. Now he's drunk and says he wants to die. I'm upstairs bf baby and got this message from him-

I want to finish everything. With some self respect - knowing that I looked after you, always. You can have everything Mistletoe

Wtf am I supposed to do?

Phew! Well done Mistletoe

Amazing news, Mistletoe, well done to you and to your DH. Now make sure he gives himself proper time to recover...

Really pleased to hear it. Getting a depressed person to admit they are depressed and seek help is no mean feat. You've achieved a great thing here!

So pleased to read this - well done to both of you.
I hope he feels better soon.

Well done for going, but Citalopram 10 mg is a dose for a young girl with anxiety, not a fully grown man with severe depression, the dose needs to be at least 20 mg (unless you're talking Cipralex/Escitalopram, which is stronger) My specialist area (GPwSI mental health)

I was goi g to say what fee said tho don't have medical background.... Ex started on 10 mg reluctantly and those first weeks were horrendous. (In the end i insisted he leave to his family..)

Be prepared for anything , make sure you have crisis team number and be ready still to call 999.... If any scary behaviour.

Also talk to someone yourself, even if phoning mind or rethink.
Try and leave him with someone else friend etc so you and dc can get some space...

It will be a rocky road but he is on right track... It won't be two weeks and back to normal tho. Take it week by week keep talking to g p yourself .

It was the duty doctor we saw, she was very nice (and said she'd done 18 months in psychiatry) said he had mild (!!) depression, and will increase dose to 20mg in 2 weeks...
If no side effects.

Like most men, I suppose he downplayed.
He will get side effects the first 2 weeks- usually restless ( like 10 cups of espresso type restless) and usually nausea similar to morning sickness. Will settle after 10-14 days. If no side effects initially, my experience shows it is less likely to work well.
I do the softly approach sometimes, but it delays the improvement of symptoms, and thus makes it less likely that the patient continues to take it- if you take something for a month and still no better, the response is often " these are useless".

He says the tablets are making him feel worse
I've suggested upping it to 20mg
Swing doc on Monday for a review.

Any tips on what to tell dd? She knows something is wrong...

*seeing

As I said, side effects it seems are a good thing . The tablets do seem to make a lot of people feel awful initially. Bear with it, if he can at all. It will settle, after about 10 days. Keep repeating like a mantra, it will settle, it is just at the start.
The extra Serotonin around has weird effects in the beginning, and takes 2 weeks to even start improving the mood. So immediate side effects, slow onset improvement of symptoms. Not ideal, but they are all like that..
If he really can't bear it, try Sertraline.

Thank you Fee, he did suggest sertraline to gp but she said she wasn't experienced with it so put him on citalopram.