Not sure what to do - online dating dilema.

[solitudehappiness]

Started seeing a guy a few weeks ago that I met online. We've been getting on great, and he rings me or texts most days. Tonight he looked at his emails on my computer and then went to use the bathroom. I looked at his emails (yes I know I shouldn't) and saw one from a woman. They'd been emailing and he said he couldn't wait to hear her sweet voice.
What do I do now? I thought he liked me? Why is he emailing other women?
Really need some advice.
If I say anything he'll know I've checked his emails.

Thank you Hickorydicory12

I think it's great that more people are learning not to assume exclusivity without discussing it. Assuming that someone is your soulmate, lifepartner and property after one 'hello' on an online dating site (or one date) is surely only for 14 year olds and the ridiculously desperate.

I agree SGB but this is not "one date" is it?

Personally speaking if I am in an early relationship with someone I would not be happy if he was also "hedging his bets" by also talking to/seeing other women. That's not about assuming he is my personal property, it's about spending time getting to know if we are right for each other.
Quite honestly if he wanted also to play the field at the same time then I would assume something wasn't right and we had no future.

Maybe in the very early few weeks I might accept he was talking to others as well but after that I'd expect him/I to know if our relationship was going anywhere.

Once again I am saying "thank god I no longer bother". It all seems unnecessarily complicated now.

I think the op has been given a hard time and agree with claudiuminimus, probably just as well that you did check his emails otherwise you would be strung along .

He has lied, dump him, who needs that in a relationship.

Thank you claudiusminimus and simplesimon.
I'm going to speak with him and see what he thinks exclusivity means, as it seems we're not on the same page. Yes, he has lied, and if I hadn't have looked through his emails, I'd have been none the wiser. This whole episode has taught me so much.
I agree with several posters that I have been judged very harshly though, even being called 'crazy' which I am very far from!!

No op your def not crazy. You would be crazy to have 'blind faith' in someone you meet on line.
I would let this one go. Please don't sell yourself short in putting up with crap like this from him.
You sound lovely and deserve someone lovely to match. :)

Finish it with him OP. He says you are exclusive but can't have extra complications? In other words he is keeping you as an option whilst he pursues others. This email will fester away and ruin any potential relationship anyways.

Hi Solitude, look, you aren't crazy or snoopy or whatever. You looked, you saw. Big deal. Knowledge is power after all. I think you are new to OLD and this my dear is what its all about now - being one step ahead. I had been seeing someone for 9 months and he opened his laptop to show me something and I saw an online dating site. Well of course I checked and found he had paid to send messages to meet up with women! Dumped him 2 days later. Was really heartbroken but once you know hes doing it, its hard to get over that in your mind.
good luck with whatever you decide

I think you're wasting your time discussing this with him further!
He lied, you know he lied so how can you move on from that, you'll always be wondering if every word out of his mouth is shit!!!

There are some lovely men out there, don't waste time and your self esteem on this guy.

Remember you deserve better

Am on my way to work reading the messages. Thank you everyone!
I've decided I'm going to dump him! I definitely deserve better, much better!! I'd never be able to trust him now, and I'm worth so much more

Jakebullet - That's exactly how I see things.

Keep reminding yourself of all those things solitude

I deserve better
I'm worth it

And breathe and smile

Online dating is a head f**k and in my opinion a waste of time. I know how women feel about not meeting any genuine men but try being a gay person!!!! Its 10 tens harder and soul destroying when you keep meeting liars and guys who just want sex. I have given up on dating myself and accepted ill never have a relationship. Sad but I don't think its worth putting yourself through internet dating on the off chance you may meet someone nice.

OP bin the guy is a player and keeping his options open. Plenty like him and your well shot of the f**k wit! Good luck :-)

I have to say that not everyone on line is a cheating arse. I met my ex and was with him for 4 years. My sister met her current partner and is still very happy after 5 years. My friend met her partner and they are still together after 8 years.

I agree that not everyone online is bad. My friend met her husband online and they've been together 10 years.
I won't give up and hopefully I'll meet someone decent