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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Suspicious Filth!!

73 replies

Mrsfullhouse · 09/05/2014 13:44

Ok. Help. I think I'm going to explode.

I was fluffing the pillows in our marital bed with Ds, when he pulled himself up using the metal bedhead... and was very pleased to have discovered a sticky lump of used chewing gum stuck behind it.

I don't chew gum- I think it's vile, and I have never ever seen Dh chew gum either. It's clearly quite a recent deposit as its still sticky.

I'm pregnant and Dh has been off sex of late, I put this down to my hippo frame and that he has been working such long hours lately.
He went off sex when I was pregnant with Ds, then I discovered an unhealthy intrest in internet porn on his phone.
Has he gone off me this time and replaced the porn with a real life, gum chewing, slutbag???

Please help me rationalise this before I storm to his work, throwing said gum, along with his suitcases, at him....!

OP posts:
KathrynJaneway · 09/05/2014 22:34

Aw he sounds lovely! Glad all is well :)

Chocaholicmonster · 09/05/2014 22:36

So, so pleased it turned out to be nothing apart from the odd crafty fag.

I hope you had a lovely evening together as a little family & I can now go to bed with a smile on my face :)

Original poster
Mrsfullhouse · 09/05/2014 22:38

It has, it's been lovely tonight.

So looking forward to having this baby and stop being so ruled by my hormones. I feel like I've been pregnant forever, and I fear that two pregnancies close together have taken their toll.

My loathing of chewing gum comes from secret smoking as a teenager... and getting it stuck I my very curly hair.

I gave up both naughty habits after my mum cut my flowing locks into a wonky mullet to get rid of it... but that's another story!

OP posts:
hotblacktea · 09/05/2014 22:44

what about the deleted messages on the phone, did you discuss that ?

RugbyMumof4 · 09/05/2014 22:47

Sounds like complete BS to me.

If my DH spun me a yarn like that it would be conclusive proof that he had been shafting a slut in my bed.

He's probably laughing his head off that you fell for such a lame story, especially the bit about deleting messages. More like he was telling his kinky bit on the side to not spend less than £400 in Ann Summers before their next tryst.

Think about it. Why would an innocent man have to " make it up" to you after you'd accused him of something which he hadn't done?

My next move would be to check his emails and skype log.

Let us know how you get on with that.

P.S. Did you sniff the gum?

Chocaholicmonster · 09/05/2014 22:47

I gave up both naughty habits after my mum cut my flowing locks into a wonky mullet to get rid of it... but that's another story!

Hahaha.. just the image makes me laugh ;)

Sleep well, Mrsfullhouse Thanks

Chocaholicmonster · 09/05/2014 22:49

Rugbymum, obviously people will still have doubts - I'm not her DH so I cannot state the truth but I have had a phone in the past that held only 20 (or so) messages & I'd need to delete them regularly just to enable myself to send or receive any more messages. So that I know isn't BS.

RugbyMumof4 · 09/05/2014 22:54

Chocoholic: What year was your phone made, 1993?

Original poster
Mrsfullhouse · 09/05/2014 23:00

His phone is utter shit... and now 3 years old so only holds so many messages. In fairness, I did now this, but managed to put 2 and 2 (or chew and chew in this case) together and make 17.

I really hope it's not some cleverly constructed load of BS, I don't think it is, I really do love the dopey bugger.

He took me out tonight, which he was going to do anyway, as their inspection finished today and he wanted to make up the fact that he'd been literally spending every spare minute making sure all of his files etc where up to date and I've had to deal with my mother being sick, pretty much single handedly. The only night he did get off, the headmaster dragged him out to the pub.

I'm just over cooked I think. Been a bit of a stressful pregnancy and terrified of something going wrong.

OP posts:
MrsDiesel · 09/05/2014 23:07

Glad it was all a storm in a tea cup and hope your baby arrives soon.q

brdgrl · 09/05/2014 23:12

My last phone was like that (and made in probably 2011?). Just saying.

Fcukfifa · 09/05/2014 23:15

Glad you are sorted now!
It reminded me of when I found a small plastic key in our bed and immediately accused Dh of having a wild affair using handcuffs etc (we don't even have posts on our bed, it's a sleigh type one)
Dh thought it was hilarious which pissed me off even more!

It was a couple of weeks later I realised it was a key for our house alarm, there is a big box on our bedroom wall and our ds had pulled it out of the slot.

Felt a right twat.

platinacave · 09/05/2014 23:32

Must admit, I'm so glad my partner is nothing like you.

Original poster
Mrsfullhouse · 09/05/2014 23:39

Fcukfifa- love the fact that your Dh had a kinky affair with an alarm!

My Dh simply stated- darling, you are like a blood hound, if I fart in the wrong direction you know. You found out about a few crafty fags, how you think I could ever cover up an affair is beyond me!

OP posts:
Original poster
Mrsfullhouse · 09/05/2014 23:52

Sneakily typing this under the duvet- pregnancy insomnia.

Platinacave- I can see your point, I must look utterly insane to the outside world.

Oh dear.

OP posts:
Elderflowergranita · 09/05/2014 23:58

Love this thread Mrs. You're a brave woman to post on the relationships board!

Best of luck with the rest of your pregnancy.

SaucyJack · 10/05/2014 00:20

Bless you OP.

I have a cheapy Nokia 100 (bought last year) which stores text messages individually like in the olden days before you got message strings on smartphones. It often get full up and needs clearing out so that's not dodgy at all.

daisychain01 · 10/05/2014 05:41

Could this be another MN Classic...

Penis-scented chewing gum

MarcusAurelius · 10/05/2014 06:06

Absolute classic. No one does crazy as well as a pregnant woman.

grumpasaur · 10/05/2014 12:52

Ha ha ha. Just to confirm, I have a good friend who has a shitty phone (reasonably new, just cheap and crap) and she is forever missing messages because her inbox is full, I or having to delete all of her messages to send new ones. We iPhone users forget that not everyone is able to keep every single message from the beginning of time!

grumpasaur · 10/05/2014 12:52

Ha ha ha. Just to confirm, I have a good friend who has a shitty phone (reasonably new, just cheap and crap) and she is forever missing messages because her inbox is full, I or having to delete all of her messages to send new ones. We iPhone users forget that not everyone is able to keep every single message from the beginning of time!

maras2 · 10/05/2014 13:46

I knew it would be fags.Ahh what a happy ending.Good luck for the birth.Babies are fab.

Eekaman · 13/05/2014 00:58

hotblacktea Fri 09-May-14 18:18:57
how are you op ?
hope you caught the bastard red handed and take him to the cleaners

I wonder if this was a joke or serious.... I'm actually thinking it was serious.

I'm just delighted it was completely wrong and all is good with op, meanwhile, I feel sorry for hotblacktea and the state her mind must be in to make such statements.

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