DH Wont sleep with me

[needcoffee1982]

Since ds was born 11 months ago dh has only slept in the bed a handful of times we've only had sex twice. Ds co-sleeps and breastfeeds which is the main reason dh sleeps on the sofa and doesnt want to disturb ds when getting up for work. I asked him why he doesnt sleep in the bed at weekends and his response was he doesn't want me to grope him. I think hes making excuses and doesnt want me anymore. Any words of advice much appreciated tia

Not a given but certainly common

Raskova it affected my ex in that way just because by the time he was stoned he just couldn't be bothered to be intimate. He just wanted to sit on his bum and play computer games.

He would then turn the issue onto me and make me feel guilty for having ANY sex drive at all.

Well I'm glad he's your ex then

DDs DF has always been extremely motivated tho and at UNi he was probably never not stoned. God knows what his excuse was by the end tho when he'd stopped...

Me too! Tbh he was a lazy selfish idiot in many ways, maybe it was just his personality and not the weed.

Well selfish idiot could explain my ex. Does the weed turn them that way or do they turn to weed because they are that way

Am I the only one that finds some of the responses on this thread ridiculous?

A woman posts about her husband refusing to sleep with her and people automatically assume it's because SHE co-sleeps and that SHE should make more effort to make herself appealing?!

Heaven forbid that a man, a father no-less, should respect his wife enough to support her choices and pay her a bit of attention if she doesn't put the effort in

As for being turned on while breastfeeding, if you got turned on by your baby I would say there would be something VERY wrong with you.

Also I am not highly educated (well not to degree level) and have breastfed my second child for 14 months so far, I'm 27 so its nothing to do with these "facts".

Squtter, I think you and I are both classed as 'older' mothers now... That's nice isn't it!

I'm not suggesting it's op at all but seeing as she is the one asking for help and he isn't here, it seems fair to offer suggestions.

No one is actually turned on by their baby at the breast tho are they? Surely they were just worried that they could be?

Squtter I am 28, not educated to degree level and I still breastfeed my 22 month old. Totally agree with your post.

Rask I assume they turn to drugs because they are selfish but I could well be wrong. I don't try to hard to understand.

I never did until then and we've solved it just like that

Squtter the third post tells us the DH's reasons for not wanting to sleep in that bed is co-sleeping - no-one's assuming anything. As for making herself more appealing, that is always the response when a DH posts on here about his DW not sleeping with him. Seems fair to me.

But I can't be an older mother... I had my first when I was 19 so surely I'm still a young mum (not in denial about age at all here :o)

I get what you're saying but the fact that people automatically assume that the woman needs advice on how to make him want to sleep with her rather than help her figure out where THEY could be going wrong seems very cheauvanistic (sp and possibly the wrong word lol).

I know people worry about breastfeeding but what I was saying is that unless you have paedophilliac tendencies you will not get turned on whilst feeding your baby so I don't think anyone here needs to worry about that.

Well that's what I thought re pedophilia but I wonder if there are recorded cases. It's a very unsexy thing to be doing. In it's very essence it's a loving, motherly and protective act so it seems the only way we could come to this conclusion is our over sexualised media.

At 19 you were young but now I don't think so. From what I hear anyway.