Vaginoplasty

[LittleTurtle]

Hi all,

Was just wondering if anyone has done Vaginoplasty, before and how it affected your sex life. Was it better after.

I am going for an op tomorrow and I hear it hurts like hell in the first week after. After 3 natural births, I had a huge cave down under, which was affecting our love life. DH has always been polite and said all is fine, but I am simply not enjoying sex with him anymore. He is average size and though we went on to have 2 other DC, after the 1st one, things were not the same. They were not even that big babies.

The gyna said he could easily fit 6 fingers in there, he has done hundreds of this operation and says it's a common problem. Seriously, I did not feel uncomfortable when he did fit the fingers.

DH has a hard time keeping it up nowadays, and aside from the conception of the last 2 DC, sex has been pretty much off the table, and I don't mind as I am not enjoying it at all. No friction.

The Gyna said he would do me 2 fingers, I said, 1 and a half, and he said sex should not be painful, and though lots of women ask for a pencil fit, for all they care, he feels it's a failed procedure it things are too tight. I want a vice grip to be honest.

Not many people talk about this, and though in the marriage I guess you have to abide by it, surely not all women who date later have not had natural births, or did everything just go back into place after?

I am mostly doing this for me as I cannot imagine a sexless or unsatisfied sex life for the next few decades.

It's not like it was, but it's functional enough, sensation is fine.

I hope you have a good recovery.

From what you've said I don't blame you. Good luck I hope it goes well. Would you be willing to come and report back when you're back in the saddle?

Hi, I had a prolapse repair and I'm not that happy with it tbh. It went loose again within a year. But mine was NHS, and they were focusing on getting the bowel working again, not on the state of the vagina.

Is yours private? Is it a prolapse repair or just tightening?

did this dr refer you for physio first?

Usually you cannot go back in the saddle for 6 weeks. The doctor said, 4 weeks as he said not to leave it too long. I want to heal properly.

So I will dig up this thread then and update how sex is going.

There are a couple of long running support threads for women who are having surgery done because of the health issues childbirth has left them with. I understand it is a serious surgical procedure and that recovery can often be full of complications, discomfort and general unpleasantness and can leave you with long term pain and other issues. I can't imagine wanting to go through the procedure just for a "vice grip". Perhaps you should look on the prolapse and raggedy bits threads for the outcomes of rectocele and cystocele surgeries (which is essentially what you will have done); it might give you an idea of what to expect.

Of course the OP's vagina is private FourFox.

If it is just tightening, I hope your last birth was a while back?

I just ask because mine was not great after babies 4 and 5, but it is now. They can shrink back, and I was pretty lax about pelvic floor exercise. I can't remember how king it took, as youngest is 13, but maybe 2 years?

How long it took

Good god! at least 6 weeks, check out the any old prolapse threads, this op is a big deal & takes a lot of recovery. At 4 weeks, I still couldn't sit, let alone contemplate fucking.

Mine is private, as it's just tightening. So far nothing else seems to need repair, he did a thorough check and said all is fine. Womb well supported etc. there is a slight tear that he will repair, but straight forward I guess.

No references to physio, but I had told him that I did Kegels till I was blue in the face, nothing, nada. I also do some pelvic related exercises at the gym with a trainer who does 'mummy' exercises. Nothing.

well maybe seeing a physio who is expert in pelvic floor would help....but then he wouldn't be making any money would he?

I think surgery of any sort in this are should be a last resort after all other methds, such as physio, and muscle stimulators have failed. Have you been referred for gynae physio; there is a huge amount of improvement to be made without resorting to surgery if it's just laxness rather than prolapse of any sort.

hope it goes really well for you. You will be sore for a good while. Have they given you any post op advice? Did they tell you to avoid sitting and walking for a bit?

You need to see a specialist gynae physio who can check that you are doing the pelvic floor contractions correctly. Doing them till you're blue in the face won't do anything is you aren't doing them effectively in the first place.

But, if your operation is tomorrow, it's probably a bit late for that.

I thought that too Shallishanti. Any gynae worth their salt would go down alternative routes before resorting to surgery, unless, they are a bit blinkered by the £££ signs in their eyes.

OP isn't obliged to go for the operation!
Seems unethical to me to recommend surgery when a less invasive treatment might be more effective- seriously OP, lots of women aren't doing pf exercises properly, they may help you!

...am a bit creeped out by the image of the Dr discussing 'how tight' he should make OP's vagina...

Shalli, as the op is tomorrow, I'm not sure OP is prepared to look into alternatives now.

It depends on whose fingers you are measuring.
My two would be way too tight even for a mini penis. :)

You should measure against your OH's penis, so that you get a good fit.
But I agree with the surgeon that if too tight it might end up being painful, even for your husband.

Good luck for tomorrow. But make sure everything is well discussed prior to it, so that you don't end up regretting the results.

Also, Little, have you got someone to take care of you & the kids for after the op?

This is the last resort, been thinking about it for a few years now. Reading up on it, and did not go into it lightly.

Doctor told me that the healing is extremely painful and I did get a special cushion etc. And realise will be bedridden for some days, in pain. But at this stage, so desperate. I guess that only a woman with a big vag would understand what I'm going through. The lack of sensation during sex will be worth all the pain in the world at this point.

From how few women mention it, I assume there are not that many of us with this problem (6 fingers, of a gloved man, bloody hell!).

When you speak to them tomorrow, ask if you can get some tramadol to take home if you're having a lot of pain.

I remember going through all the various attempts before I had my op. One of them was a vaginal pessary. "it's just a little ring that will hold things up" she says - turns out it was a big rubber hoop the size of a tennis ball, looking like some kind of dog toy! So the gynae inserted that, I got up, and it fell out

Hope all goes well Op. I am shamelessly place marking as I have an interest in how this turns out. After 3 children I have the beginnings of some prolapse issues and also a bit of a cave down there

What happens if you have this surgery and your dh still has problems. and sex remains "pretty much off the table"?