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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

After being homeless for five months...

57 replies

FanFuckingTastic · 26/04/2014 02:15

I finally have a light at the end of the tunnel. It has taken me since 10:30 this morning to actually get excited about it, I was so stunned at how blooming great the offer from the council is.

I was in a complicated situation as I owed them money which I had began appealing when I was made homeless the first time (recharge fees for an old property, which were ridiculously high considering how well I cleaned it). Instead of being sensible and sorting it out, I ran away to live with my now ex, who told me it would be the best thing to do. I realise now I was being influenced by him into making poor decisions when my mental health was not good, I should have reported myself to my psychiatrist, and the council as homeless with two children, but instead I was stupid and ended up leaving my children with their father and running away.

I realised I was being abused in November last year when my stepdad died and he was trying to 'gaslight' me into believing that I'd said I hated him and would be glad when he was gone, I was absolutely horrified when I realised what he was and all the things he had done to me that weren't right.

I ran away just after Christmas, have been staying with various people since. I've felt like a burden and it's been such a nightmare, harassment from my ex, moving areas to feel safe, realising the extent of how much he had manipulated me using my disability and mental health to do so. I was really quite depressed.

Now, I think I might be able to relax for the first time as they have taken my homelessness application and agreed it was through no fault of my own due to fleeing DV, they had recognised that private sector renting is not sensible as my disabilities make finding the appropriate place highly improbable. The have put me into Band A category with highest bidding priority for six weeks, and will extend it if I don't get housed in that period. They've reduced the money I owe them by half, and loaned me the rest to be paid back at a low rate. They have accepted my assessment from OT and social worker to house me in level access ground floor accommodation, with storage for a mobility scooter, and either a level access shower or wet room. And they will do all the bidding for me, which saves me a great deal of stress and time. I walked out a bit stunned. I was expecting a no, or at the best help to get private rented housing. To know that I will finally be in a suitable home, and be able to sort out care packages and regain my independence again after the worst year of my life. My brain doesn't know whether to be happy or cry.

I just wanted to say that you can get free from an abusive relationship, I've had hurdles and hurdles due to my circumstances, but finally I can relax and know it shouldn't be too long before I am settled and can begin rebuilding my life. I have to own up to lots of mistakes and rebuild bridges, but I can do that now independently without anyone telling me what to do.

OP posts:
cardiandcrocs · 07/05/2014 15:43

Sweetheart, I've got everything crossed here. I do hope that the flat is given to you x

FanFuckingTastic · 09/05/2014 14:21

I'm getting the flat! Grin Grin Grin

Seeing the Housing Officer on Monday to look around and then go through all the paperwork to get my KEYS!!!!

I am so happy I cried on the phone to her, I can't wait to get sorted into my own place.

Thank you for all the good wishes, I can't believe things happened so quickly. Last week I was homeless and unsure as to when I would ever get housed, next week I'll be in my own place, I feel so incredibly lucky and grateful to all the people who helped me.

OP posts:
knowledgeispower · 09/05/2014 14:36

Thanks Fabulous! Enjoy your own home Smile

Ivedunnit · 09/05/2014 14:44

whoop whoop ! What fabulous news !

AnyFucker · 09/05/2014 15:34
Grin
BonTemps · 09/05/2014 15:52

Grin Thanks Wine great news for you.

ZingWatermelon · 09/05/2014 16:35

brilliant news, so happy for you!Smile Smile Smile Thanks Thanks Thanks

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore · 09/05/2014 16:41

so glad to hear that!! Enjoy!!!

TheABC · 09/05/2014 16:49

Congratulations! "I love it when a plan comes together".

RandomMess · 09/05/2014 18:05

Fantastic, enjoy!

DocMcStuffinsBigBookOfOuches · 09/05/2014 18:14

This is such a lovely thread to read - seeing the system working the way it ought to, helping people who really need it.

Enjoy your new home!

cardiandcrocs · 09/05/2014 19:29

That's wonderful news. I'm SO pleased for you!

DiaryOfAWimpyMum · 09/05/2014 19:34

Well done Op!!

AnyaKnowIt · 09/05/2014 19:38

Great news op Flowers for your new home!

MiscellaneousAssortment · 09/05/2014 19:56

I'm so so glad for you Flowers

GarlicMayHaveNamechanged · 09/05/2014 22:33

Oh, Fan, well done! Flowers Smile Flowers Smile Flowers Smile

How awful that you went through all that. And how great that you're finally getting the right sort of help. YOU did that, you know, YOU!

Hope you like the flat. Enjoy your weekend now!

FanFuckingTastic · 10/05/2014 07:59

My mum is taking me and DS down to Thorpe Park where I'm going to use the lovely free passes we got to have a smashing time together to celebrate, DS was so excited to hear about it. The first thing he said was "YES! Now we can see each other much more often." I was a bit weepy.

Next step, sorting myself out and seeing a solicitor about DD.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 10/05/2014 08:12

How lovely - I live very near Thorpe Park - weather is grim today but at least the queues will be short Grin

FanFuckingTastic · 10/05/2014 08:25

That was my thinking, we still have our ponchos, lets get wet, lol/

OP posts:
RandomMess · 10/05/2014 08:32

Very windy - hang onto your ponchos!!!

FanFuckingTastic · 10/05/2014 08:34

We had that wind yesterday, my door was banging all night and all day. Twas a bit annoying.

OP posts:
EATmum · 10/05/2014 09:14

That's amazing - congratulations! When do you move in? You must be so excited.Thanks

FanFuckingTastic · 10/05/2014 21:49

I'll get the keys on Monday, so I'll be making sure it's clean and then I'll have to go through the storage unit and cut down on old clothes and junk that I don't need any more. My mum will be hiring a van next weekend, so I will officially move in then. But I'll try to have a bed in there straight away so I can rest between cleaning and appointments and storage units.

We had a lovely day today, for a change being disabled worked in my favour, we got a special wristband that effectively worked like a fast pass for free for me and my responsible adult - my little sister. We got to go on lots of rollercoasters and I didn't have to stand and wait at all. Feel knackered now, but I wouldn't have managed more than one or two rides without that. Needed a bit of help getting in and out seats, which was a pain, but wowweeee was it worth the effort, the adrenaline rushes were super! My mum was almost crying looking at the coasters we wanted to go on, it was so funny. She also almost puked on the teacups. Very sedate day for her, lol.

OP posts:
cjelh · 10/05/2014 22:45

I am so please you can at last be settled. I remember how important it was to have a place no one can take from youFlowersFlowersFlowersFlowers for your new home

SocialMediaAddict · 10/05/2014 22:46

Fantastic news!

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