Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Last on the list

32 replies

Star8369 · 23/04/2014 15:50

I am sick of my boyfriend! we never spend any time together because he is always off doing things for other people.

The past 3 weeks he has been helping someone decorate and has been leaving early and not coming back til about 9 by which time he just wants to sleep.

I asked him on Saturday if he would reserve sunday for us to spend the day together but while at daughters friends birthday party he text his friend asking if he was busy so his friend rang him and told him that he was coming over later that night and instead of saying that it inconvenient he said ok no problem and when friend came he went out.

Rang him yesterday 5 pm while he was out to see what time he would be back and he said give me an hour (no problem ) 3 hours after he said he was gonna be back I called him to see if he was on his way and he was busy doing something for someone else and then had to pick something up from his friends house.

Today he is helping his friend with his mum's garden and I rang him earlier to update him on something about daughter and he just drops into the conversation that my sister and her boyfriend have invited him out tonight to play pool so I asked if he was going and he said yes, this is after I poured my heart out to him last night crying because I am so sick of him putting everyone else first! Angry
I am just so sick of it!

OP posts:
Original poster
Star8369 · 23/04/2014 15:51

sorry it's so long

OP posts:
Jan45 · 23/04/2014 16:01

There is your answer at the end there, how long you been together?

AttilaTheMeerkat · 23/04/2014 16:02

I was also going to ask how long you have been together.

What do you get out of this relationship now?.

Why are you actually together at all now?.

LineRunner · 23/04/2014 16:05

He's putting himself first, really.

NewNameForSpring · 23/04/2014 16:09

Do you think he wants to end it but hasn't got the nerve? How long have you been together?

Original poster
Star8369 · 23/04/2014 16:16

we have only been together just over 8 months

OP posts:
Original poster
Star8369 · 23/04/2014 16:17

New I don't know I have asked him if he wants to be with me and he says yes and that he loves me

OP posts:
LineRunner · 23/04/2014 16:19

Do you mean you have been living together for 8 months or known each other for 8 months?

Original poster
Star8369 · 23/04/2014 16:23

we have been living together for 8 months

OP posts:
SweetErmengarde · 23/04/2014 16:33

Bit confused, so YOUR sister invited your boyfriend out but didn't include you, OP?

I really hate to suggest this, but are you certain he really is where he says he is when he gets all these last-minute invitations?

Original poster
Star8369 · 23/04/2014 16:48

yeah sweet I have two kids at home so wouldn't have been able to go anyway

yeah im sure I know all of his friends and who he is doing things for

OP posts:
overmydeadbody · 23/04/2014 16:51

Why don't you go with him to play pool?

Sounds like he is just not that into you though. Maybe call it a day?

hellsbellsmelons · 23/04/2014 16:53

You should not feel like this.

I think you know what to do.
End it. You are miserable, crying and he's doing the same things the very next day. That says all you need to know about where you are on his list.
Time to call it a day.

Original poster
Star8369 · 23/04/2014 16:55

I can't over I have two kids at home and wont be able to get a babysitter

OP posts:
littlegreengloworm · 23/04/2014 16:56

Sorry op, I think I would cut my stick. It's still early days and he's taking things for granted.

I think you will be happier put of it.

Original poster
Star8369 · 23/04/2014 16:56

I know hellsbells have rang him and told him we need to talk Sad

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 23/04/2014 17:01

And what was his reaction?
You only had a chat last night and it achieved nothing at all.
I hope you can end it and get the life you deserve.
Put yourself first and don't put up with this.
Good luck with the talk.

FourForksAche · 23/04/2014 17:04

is he the dad of the two kids?

I ask because it seems he's trying to live a single man's life.

Original poster
Star8369 · 23/04/2014 17:05

He sounded really low, thanks hells

OP posts:
Original poster
Star8369 · 23/04/2014 17:05

no four

OP posts:
brokenhearted55a · 23/04/2014 17:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Star8369 · 23/04/2014 17:14

thats tempting broken but wouldn't that just make me as bad as him? and what happens if that approach doesn't work?

OP posts:
cozietoesie · 23/04/2014 17:18

He prefers spending time doing other things (almost anything in fact) to spending it with you and the children. I'd end it now before it gets more heated and difficult, and before the DCs start to be affected by the situation. You deserve better.

Out of interest, where was he living before he moved in with you and whose idea was it? Does he contribute to household expenses?

brokenhearted55a · 23/04/2014 17:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted · 23/04/2014 17:21

The only approach is the direct approach. He lives with you and not all the other people who are making claims on his time, therefore he should be setting aside time to spend with you other than at night sleeping in your bed.

He's treating you like him Mum or a Friend With Benefits and if you don't want either of those roles you need to tell him to shape up or ship out.

Swipe left for the next trending thread