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[Star8369]

I am sick of my boyfriend! we never spend any time together because he is always off doing things for other people.

The past 3 weeks he has been helping someone decorate and has been leaving early and not coming back til about 9 by which time he just wants to sleep.

I asked him on Saturday if he would reserve sunday for us to spend the day together but while at daughters friends birthday party he text his friend asking if he was busy so his friend rang him and told him that he was coming over later that night and instead of saying that it inconvenient he said ok no problem and when friend came he went out.

Rang him yesterday 5 pm while he was out to see what time he would be back and he said give me an hour (no problem ) 3 hours after he said he was gonna be back I called him to see if he was on his way and he was busy doing something for someone else and then had to pick something up from his friends house.

Today he is helping his friend with his mum's garden and I rang him earlier to update him on something about daughter and he just drops into the conversation that my sister and her boyfriend have invited him out tonight to play pool so I asked if he was going and he said yes, this is after I poured my heart out to him last night crying because I am so sick of him putting everyone else first!
I am just so sick of it!

Star, I'm sorry to say, it doesn't sound like he's serious about being with you and your kids. Having his cake and eating it. I'd look elsewhere if I was you.

Ok time to think - you are providing him with everything he needs to live this v v selfish life , he will never ever know what he's got until he loses it . He's showing u yr unimportant in his life and that he doesn't care about you and yr daughter at all . Time to shake him up! You need to be firm, make a stand , if you don't u will hv no self esteem and neither will yr daughter who is watching you accepting this - u are teaching her that this is ok . I know this is hard to hear but how selfish is he ! I'm lost for words

cozie it wasnt really anyone's idea it just sort of happened, he had his own (rented) house and yeah he contributes

yeah you're right molly

I agree with what another poster partly said above - I think he regards you as a ready made family except that he's treating you like Mum and acting like a thoughtless teenager. Even going out with your sister and her boyfriend (albeit instead of staying with you and the kids) suggests that he's after a comforting structure.

What is his own family like?

he doesn't see his own family cozie he was in and out of care cos his mum was/is an alcoholic

He contributes?

Does he?

Do you do his washing? Do you cook for everybody and he gets to eat when he finally turns up, nice warm plate ready or plenty left in the pot? Do you clean the loo he uses, wash the dishes, make sure the fridge isn't a health hazard?

He may contribute, but sit down and really think about what you do for him. Because it seems to me as if this is a guy who is more than happy to have a nice ready-made home to crash and eat at while he lives the life he's always lived. A user, in other words.

He isn't interested in you or your children-at 8 months you should be in the honeymoon period. He barely spends any time with you. He's not fussed. Yes, he's going to tell you he is- he's got a lovely set up and I'm sure he thinks you're just fine. But he doesn't really give a tiny shit about you as a person.

If this is what it's like after 8 months, imagine 8 years. Get rid and find the person you're meant to be with. Hint: they will act as if they actually want to he your partner!