Namechanged but regular here. Not sure whether I'm acting like an idiot and would appreciate some perspective please?
DH and I married for 18 years, 2 kids 10 and 14. We get on fabulously well and he is a great partner and father. But. He has had ED issues for years now (8 I think) and I've tried everything I can think of to tackle it with him..taking sex off the menu, just cuddling, being romantic etc etc. There's nothing physically wrong with him, he's been to the doctor, prescribed Viagra (which doesn't always work btw) and had counselling...nothing wrong with him. He assures me he loves me but I want a sex life and feel rejected, unattractive and frumpy. I've talked abut this with him til I'm blue in the face, he promises to make an effort, everything is great for maybe 2 weeks and then slides slowly back into oblivion. I think he feels that he has an "inferior" job to me (I am the breadwinner) but assures me it doesn't bother him and I make pains to assure him that we are a team. Just for context, a couple of years back an old flame got in touch with him through the dreaded Facebook. This led to me discovering a string of texts between them, beyond flirty on her part, not so much on his but it is my biggest regret that I just didn't quietly put the phone back and see how things developed (he swears up and down he just liked the attention but I'll never know whether it would have went further). Instead I went apeshit and warned him that if anything like that happened again he was gone. I think it's relevant to say that his behaviour didn't really change during all this despite me knowing him so well.
So fast forward and my spidey senses are thinking that something's up. We had a massive talk - again - the other week about lack of sex and I asked him to promise to always be honest with me. He promised. He says he has no sex drive any more. He keeps suggesting toys (we had some previously) but I feel that he thinks he can just stick a plastic cock in me (sorry, TMI) and it'll shut me up and let him off the hook. He says he just doesn't want sex. However on snooping on his phone (and yeah shoot me, I know it's not great but there you go, he's on the damn thing night and day), he's been watching porn and googling how to make girls shoot their load in a guy's mouth 
. Furthermore I saw an email from Meetme which said he had a new nearby secret admirer. I've gone on to the site and checked his profile - he's on there a LOT (last login 3 hours ago) but of course I can't see what he's actually been doing on it. He's never breathed a word of this to me. I feel that maybe he is bored with me though he swears he isn't.
Am I being paranoid? Is he on Meetme just to genuinely meet new people? Is he looking for attention? Leaving isn't an option at the moment. I love him and couldn't upset the kids, and I so want to make our marriage work. But I just have the inkling that something is up.
What do I do?