My older sister lives abroad with my parents. We were close when we were very little but after my younger sister was born she changed a lot and bullied both of me and YS pretty much continuously until we left home. YS hates her.
We had a rubbish childhood for various reasons and our parents, while competent from a practical point of view were shit at the important things in parenting. Both YS and I "escaped" but OS is still at home and struggling (lost her job, depressed, friendless). She contacted me recently (first time in about 6 months) to say she wants to come here to participate in a clinical trial for treatment for a minor but persistent medical condition. She wants to stay with me.
I'm torn. I think she is using the trial as an excuse to escape from the miserable life at home and is trying to latch onto me. I felt very angry at her for years but that has waned (possibly due to how seldom I see her) and now I feel sorry for her. I was sexually abused as a child and I suspect she may have been too. I alsi think she has a social disorder.
It feels like she's reaching out to me for help and I feel a sort of duty to help her as I know my parents never will. But she is an extremely selfish and difficult person and the thought if having her in my house for more than a few days fills me with dread.
As a preview of what I can expect should she come over, she asked me to go with her every day to the treatment; which involves driving for over an hour with two small children and waiting with them indefinitely. Bear in mind she is not disabled in any way. She was clearly put out when I said no to that.
So I am torn between my "duty" as a sister and protecting myself from her. Any thoughts?