BORING HUSBAND !!!!

[notnotnee]

What am I supposed to do when I like a drink and am pretty sociable but my husband isn't. We have only been together 2.5 years, married 1.5 and he seems to have become much less interested in any social events. He is not a drinker, but I am.

If I go out once a week to my girlfriends house, 3 doors down the road and we sit in and have a couple of bottles of Cava, he gets grumpy because I am a bit pissed !! So what.

We went out TOGETHER Friday to our local pub and he was pulling me away by 9pm because he was hungry. I was having a lovely time and would like to have stayed but knew if I did, it would cause a row.

How do I best resolve this problem??

I don't know - 2 CAVA bottles = 20 units. Recommended limit is 14 units for women so - +30% above the limit is not great.

Evidence also shows an increase in breast cancer risk at more than 7 units per week.

It always puzzles me when I hear or read of highly sociable people, who aren't happy unless out with a crowd, complaining that their not thus inclined partner is "boring" or "unsociable" for not liking or needing exactly what they do.

A corollary complaint is often "I organise our entire social life, and s/he's not even grateful!! I have to drag him / her out everywhere!!" - uttered in a manner that leaves you in no doubt they think they're doing their partner a favour.

The unexpressed assumption is that they are normal and it is their partner who is in some way defective.

The fact is that someone who obsessively socialises and needs to be entertained all the time may themselves be desperately boring and needy, on someone else's terms. Their friends may themselves be shallow, vacuous and not friends in any meaningful sense. Other people's friends are not your friends.

In fact, they may be pretty much impossible to live with.

Personally, I'd consider someone who needed to get drunk among others to be amused to be a strong candidate for the Most Boring Person In The World award. If there isn't a word that's the opposite of sociopath, there needs to be.

I think you need to talk to him about how he feels. Then tell him how you feel. If you both want to make this relationship work then both can find some middle ground surely. If you love each other that is. If you loved each other enough to actually marry then don't be in such a hurry to throw it away.

Let me see if I've got this right OP.

You're 48 and all you can think about is getting arseholed on Cava with your neighbour a couple of times a week and think if someone doesn't get pissed as regularly as you they are boring?

Classy