Why does it irritate my husband when I refer to him as my partner?

[MrsMystery]

I'm baffled. Sometimes I introduce him as my husband but mostly my partner. Tbh, for some reason I prefer calling him my partner.

He says he feels a bit hurt by me calling him that and he feels that he's 'earned' the right to be called my husband

I think he's making a big fuss about a small matter.

What do you think?

I think if he feels hurt, why not call him your husband?

Why would you want to upset someone you love? He's not asking a lot.

I'd rather be introduced as wife rather than partner. More significant/important/involved/whatever. Not sure it should matter but it does. To me. And clearly to your DH.

If I really liked 'partner', I'd be quite cheesed off if dh insisted on 'wife'.

You could say 'I'm Jane, and I'm married to Tom here'?

If he is your husband, and likes the term, why would you not use it?

Especially as swerving it upsets him.

I can't see a circumstance where I would introduce my husband as my partner ,it seems a bit odd to me when you are married.

If my DH referred to me as 'partner' I think I'd deck him.

My dm gets annoyed at my df over this. And rightly so, as she is his wife. Partner refers more to couples cohabiting than married couples.

I'd be cross with my dh too if he referred to me as his partner.

Everyone knows what a husband is and the vast majority would know what you meant by partner (not married). Why confuse the issue?

Partners aren't married! 'Husband' is a totally distinct status. Calling him your partner implies that you haven't married him. I can see why he doesn't like it.

...think it prob annoys him because he's not your partner, he's your husband. Partners are unmarried. Husband and wife are married. (Not forgetting husband and husband, or wife and wife as of this month :) love that )

I would not want to call my husband my partner, I'd not want him to refer to me as such. We chose NOT to be partners by getting married.

Partner means not married. Husband means married. I'd be annoyed if DP called me his wife, so I can see why your husband is annoyed.

I tend to mean partner as a person that is unmarried e.g. my sister lives with her partner whereas I live with my husband.

Er, but he's your husband. You're married to him.

I love the term partner because it encompasses everything my partner is - the man I want to spend my life with, that I love deeply and couldn't imagine a future without, as he feels about me - but we are not engaged and obviously not married yet. When he's my husband, he'll be my husband, and I'll be his wife.

You're using the wrong term, and he's right to be upset. Would you like him to call you his girlfriend?

I wouldn't want my dh to refer to me as his partner, otherwise it seems like the vows were for nothing.
Saying that though I don't like being introduced as the wife, not on its own anyway.

My dh usually says "this is my wife (name), then something quite funny.

Like don't laugh, or yes I know you'd expect taller etc.

Partner is confusion - business partner? boyfriend? life partner? The word husband neatly says who he is in relation to you, so why not use it?

confusing

I refer to everyone as partners. My partner included, regardless of marital status, it's much much easier.

It's your choice what you'd like to call him, surely. It's only offensive if you see partners as 'less' or inferior to spouses, somehow. Maybe he does, I suppose it's not a big issue either way but I see them as interchangeable.

HE's upset because he has publicly made a lifelong commitment to you which you prefer not to tell people about.

I think if you loved him enough to marry him, you should respect him opinion and not look for people on a forum to help you gang up on him in order to tell him he is wrong. If that's how he feels, then who are we to say he shouldn't be feeling like that?

Why do you call him your partner? He isn't your partner, he is your husband. To me, partner refers to unmarried, cohabiting couples.

so the consensus is: why call him partner if you married him

I don't like it that this upsets him, so I will try to stop calling him my partner for the sake of our marital happiness.

To me partner refers to people in a committed relationship. In general use I apply it to everyone as I have no desire to keep some kind of catalogue of people's exact current marital status/sexual preference/gender etc in my head. I have no clue if lots of friends etc have had a marriage ceremony or not, or a civil partnership, or are engaged or consider themselves married or have had a ceremony but not a legal one...the permutations are endless. And I work with couples I have just met, so partner it always is.

I don't see any huge problem with using husband if that's what he likes, you remember your own marital status I assume, but I would ask why he thinks of partner as lesser or inaccurate.

Why did you get married if you see no difference?

My husband referred to me as his partner at work. There was consternation when he said I was pregnant. Turned out everyone thought he was gay!