I have slept with my XP

[Dragonfly00]

I have name changed for this would love some impartial advice. XP and I separated in December , my choice we were were tog for 20- years, last few had been sexless really, he was also a nasty drunk. Up until a couple of weeks ago our only communication was via text ( all about DS and money). I wanted space. Anyway last week we met up for a drink and talked and broke the ice, he knows I am seeing other people, he is not, well to cut a long story short he came over last Saturday, we had a fab day and stayed the night ( sex was good) and stayed all day Sunday, BBQ and out to dinner with our son. Since then he has texted me and called a couple of times, Flirty texts. Don't know what I am asking but feeling a bit confused. I am crazy to have done this.

hmm. IMO you either want to try and make it work or not.

But you need to talk first about what it is you want. But if trying to make it work (even with hard work) then it's unfair to keep seeing other people in the meantime. You can't work on rebuilding a relationship if you are still seeing others on the side. The mn collective would advise any woman to run from a man who declared he was still going to keep dating other women even though they were working on their relationship, I don't imagine the opinion of a woman planning to do the same is any different...

But he has not said he wants to get back tog, I think he just misses us and family life, all the things that he was not good @ before, as I said before all very confusing. was gettin on with my life. I get the impression he just wants sex and feels comfortable with me now.

maybe you both need to have a serious talk first. Before either or both of you get hurt.

How did you split - who instigated it and why? I know you said his drinking and lack of sex was an issue, but was that the cause or were there other reasons?

Also, how old is your ds? It will be very confusing for him if you two start spending a lot of time together and things then don't work out.

I threw him out because simply could not take anymore, we had always been best friends but he became mean and would literally pick me to pieces, he was also not being a great dad to our teen. Since the split he has tried to build bridges with DS and seems to have knuckled down @ work.