feeling unloved on mothers day

[christine44]

Not sure why I'm surprised but husband did nothing to make today special. Kids look bit embarrassed at lack of even a card. Should be used to it but really hurts. Sorry to be soself indulgent but would really like to feel that someone noticed me. Just want to feel loved

My DS 15 is ignoring me Not sure what I've done wrong.
DH got me some nice flowers ( bless, he didn't have to) DD is being sweet...she got me some bubble bath .
I am missing my mum today, 1st Mother's Day in 40 odd years without a Mum.... I am so sad, I miss her so much.

I shed a little tear this morning. Sometimes it would be nice to feel appreciated. I always make sure so called significant days are marked for others, why can't they return the favour? I am trying to tell myself it's just another made up day.

So far today has involved cleaning up, washing and ironing.

Ironically DH and DD have gone to his mothers to deliver the card and presents that I bought.

Happy Mothers Day!

Christine44

chickydoo

feel very for you all. have you told your children it makes you feel sad? teens are old enough to be told imo.

mine just made me cards. its not about the money, is it, its the thought

OP did the older ones do nothing for you? Make you a cup of tea in bed? Make you a sandwich? Do they have access to paper and pens to make you a card?

If they did nothing then it sounds as if you are being taken for granted by everyone and that is something you need to address?

Happy Mother's Day from me though.

My first without my mum who passed away last year so chickydoo I can empathise

"Not everyone likes or chooses to celebrate Mothering Sunday though"

That's a completely pointless remark. If something's important to the OP - and I don't care if it's Mothers Day, Valentines Day or the anniversary of the day Elvis Presley died - it should be important to her family! Currently the whole lot of them, barring one solitary 9yo, couldn't give a shit about her. I guarantee when it's Fathers Day, their birthday or something else significant she makes a fuss of them.

And it's not a question of getting used to it OP... be assertive, make a fuss, tell them it's unacceptable.

If you are taken advantage of by Husbands and children old enough to physically walk to a shop by themselves with money they have (or Dad can give them), apart from murdering them (against the law for some reason), then as long as you have some money, why not go out by yourself. Announce to them that as it is MOTHERS DAY you are going to be out and they will have to fend for themselves -further explaining they will have to get their own lunch as they won't have 'got it'. Then go off to a museum, park, anywhere you want but avoid Mothers Day themed restaurants, you will just get stabby.

Those funding'Mother in Law' day and not getting anything yourself, stop doing it!!! You can always claim ignorance, after all there is nothing around you to tell you what the significance of the day is, no card or flowers for you!

I'd stretch it to the whole week. Seriously. Book yourself in a nice little B&B somewhere, take a few novels, treat yourself to a and meals out .... don't tell anyone where you are. Call it your 'Shirley Valentine Retreat' if you like. See how long it is before they notice you've gone. :)

Whoops I meant if you have no card or flowers, how are you supposed to know what day it is and the significance!!!!

I will probably get flamed down for this but sorry ladies you put way too much importance in that one day a year. If that one day a year reflects on how you feel as a mother, wife and how your husband and kids value you, then to me that looks like a problem. There are 365 days in a year, isn't it more important that there is love in the family all year without expectations of cards and gifts on that specific day? if you feel you have to remind your kids to do something for you that day, doesn't it loose its value then? And it's the same for Valentines, Birthdays, it's all about spending money, it's not a measurement of your children's or husband's love for you.

It's not about spending money...being made breakfast in bed costs nothing...it's the effort. Special days are important and are opportunities to show others how much you care. Of course, effort can be made all year but special days are important. If they're not to you fox, fair enough but don't belittle others.

Fox you are missing the point.
A little love back on this one day doesn't have to cost them anything.

I think the OP is being taken for granted 365 days a year and this particular day, however contrived or artificially important it may be, shows up what a shit situation she's in. Lonely people feel loneliest on days that celebrate togetherness. The childless will feel it most acutely on days that celebrate children. It's not about spending money at all.

Absolutely well put cog

Agree with Cogito I think you have missed the point Fox.

I think you ladies are missing my point. You are putting too much importance in that day. Breakfast in bed can be done at any time. If you feel for granted because you didn't get a gift on a day that society dictates you should, that makes no sense at all.

Fox, it certainly isn't about money or presents here, just an acknowledgement of my existence and a show of appreciation of all I do for them. That's not my reason for doing things, but it would be lovely to see that they do notice.

Kids are 14, 12, and 9.

FFS, they are plenty old enough to have sorted this themselves. It's got bog all to do with your husband.

I agree Fox these things could be done on any day of the year, but it the absence seems more noticable on what is deemed by most to be an officially recognised day.

Fox you are being very insensitive to the OP. You are entitled to have your opinion, but maybe this isn't the right thread to debate Mothers Day.

If you think it makes no sense you're basically in the same camp as the thoughtless DH and DCs here. It's all a money-making scam, he can't be arsed to show appreciation and he's rubbish at gifts so she just has to get over herself. Never mind that she's breaking her heart hoping someone in her family will show her an ounce of attention?.....

The thing is if they can't make an effort on this day of all days then it shows they do not value the OP at all.

DH and I sometimes ignore such days but we always discuss this so the other person does not feel snubbed but then again we make sure we do frequently express our appreciation of each other.

In this case the OP is feeling under appreciated by all members of the family and it sounds like this day is no different to any other day which is sad.

Never mind that she's breaking her heart hoping someone in her family will show her an ounce of attention?.....

In which case it has absolutely nothing to do with Mother's Day at all.

I think lack of action should have consequences. It did in my family and we all learnt to shape up. This is just plain old selfishness on the part of your kids/OH. Mummy Taxi/Cook/Washing Service no longer available, due to lack of appreciation. Not going back into service until the appreciation tank is full again - however long that might take.

Sorry but if there are no consequences why would they bother remembering?