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Original poster

Is it ever ok to sleep with a colleague?

63 replies

JetSetWilly · 26/03/2014 20:29

I imagine most people will say no.. Why? Consenting adults, single (obviously), keep it professional

Does it always turn to shit?

OP posts:
Original poster
JetSetWilly · 26/03/2014 21:03

So did I hence the user name Grin what do you mean not a good idea? Because of the age gap?

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puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 26/03/2014 21:05

I just meant generally. It took me a while to post, so hadn't seen your updates Blush

I think with separate floors you should be fine. I'd do it mind you I would do it regardless of separate floors

MacBee · 26/03/2014 21:09

I am sleeping with my colleague.
But we are married Grin

Original poster
JetSetWilly · 26/03/2014 21:12

Haha puds

Will see how it goes. Am surprised at the response but it was my own thinking really/what is the problem? I wouldn't want anybody at the office knowing and I won't let them

Had a few texts last night and he seems up for it trouble is at the moment we would only see each other at drinks after work. With other colleagues. So can't really go there in case it becomes obvious.

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Original poster
JetSetWilly · 26/03/2014 21:12

Loads of you met at work and not surprised really you spend so much time with your colleagues!

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Queenofknickers · 26/03/2014 21:16

For me it turned into a happy 14 year marriage and 2 DCs

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 26/03/2014 21:27

Good luck Willy Smile

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 26/03/2014 21:28

I met my Ex at work. We were together 5 years and had a DD

eatmydust · 26/03/2014 21:30

Perfectly reasonable if you are both single, not in direct line management chain and at a similar level. I've done it Just need to keep it quiet if there's no intention of a relationship and make sure he feels the same way.

Original poster
JetSetWilly · 26/03/2014 21:40

Thank you puds ;)

Yes need to make sure he feels the same way! Very tentative at the moment. Unsure how to play it all and am sure he feels the same way

OP posts:
GertTheFlirt · 26/03/2014 21:44

70% of relationships begin at work.

Original poster
JetSetWilly · 26/03/2014 22:27

Blimey is that right. Don't think this one will though although never say never eh?

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RaspberryRuffle · 26/03/2014 23:51

Both single, no work issues, preferably different teams fine, but bear in mind people can move teams and you could end up sitting opposite your "colleague with benefits".
My line manager and a colleague had a fling for about a year. Thought they were soooo discreet. They were not! Especially at work events where alcohol was involved. There are a few couples in my work, that wouldn't have been an issue but the line manager aspect was not so good.

I have friends who got together at work in a company where it's not allowed, they did keep it a pretty good secret, only 5 people (close friends) in work knew. She had to look for another job when it got serious, was pregnant by the time she left, now married and expecting DC3. So funny when he announced he was getting married, invited some colleagues to the evening do and they were asking who he was marrying. He said they swapped numbers at her leaving do and had a whirlwind romance.

jayho · 27/03/2014 08:49

Jet Set he's 12 years younger than me Blush First got together after works drinks. We were all leaving, heading off in different directions and I texted him and asked if he fancied some company, he texted back his address [forward minx emoticon] I'm pretty sure it needed me to make the first move, so go for it!

kentishgirl · 27/03/2014 10:03

It's a risk. I did it twice.

Once turned into a very embarrassing disaster. ONS and he told everyone - then spent the next two years turning bright red and visibly fleeing the room whenever I entered. In a male environment. God, it was awful. I got teased a fair bit at first, although actually most of the other men were quite sympathetic once the novelty wore off, and thought he was acting like a dick.

Did it again and it worked out fine, very nice on and off FWB thing whenever I was single, over 15 years! totally discrete.

LittleMissLurksALot · 27/03/2014 13:44

I did it. No regrets, although things did get a bit dramatic in the aftermath.

There was a lot of jealousy which made coming into work feel like diving headfirst into a wasps nest at times, but we both ignored it all, stayed professional at work, didn't keep things secret (but certainly didn't flaunt it around the office), and things settled down. We've have been together for nearly 2 years.

The management had no problem with it at all as they could see that we were handling it well, it was others that were getting involved that were hauled in for meetings and told they were being inappropriate.

We aren't the only couple in the office though, and it's a small company so I guess they're used to it!

AuntieStella · 27/03/2014 13:49

It's only OK if you are both single and one of you is not the line manager of the other.

And it helps if the organisation is such that if either you go on to become an established couple, or if you don't and there are weirdnesses, it's not going to wreck the atmosphere.

In general, I'd say keep a burgeoning relationship under wraps until you're reasonably sure you both know what you're getting in to.

Original poster
JetSetWilly · 27/03/2014 18:42

Thanks for all the replies. Can believe the general concensious is yes! And can't believe how similar out situations are Jayho! How long have you been seeing him? Does anybody know? (Sorry think you may have said but too lazy to scroll up)

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struggling100 · 27/03/2014 18:56

I did. He's now my husband (we don't work together any more!)

TheDoctorsNewKidneys · 27/03/2014 19:39

I met my DP at work, but we didn't get together until about four months after he left.

There are several married couples at the store I work at, and lots of others who met at work and who are now engaged or living together thanks to work. I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to do at all - you just need to make sure you can handle it if it all goes tits up!

whereisshe · 27/03/2014 19:44

It goes on All The Time. I'm constantly amazed at the work gossip about who is shagging whom. No one really cares in my experience, as long as you don't let it affect your work.

As long as you proceed on the basis that it's impossible to keep it a secret you'll be fine Smile.

Original poster
JetSetWilly · 27/03/2014 20:25

Oh no don't say that whoisshe! Grin

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LividofLondon · 27/03/2014 20:34

A hell of a lot of relationships fail and having to meet the ex at work is hellish (I say from bitter experience). But if you have a distance, i.e. not in the same office/paths don't cross, and if you can handle the fallout if things go wrong then go for it.

jayho · 27/03/2014 20:43

Jet eight months and no-one knows, there was a near miss a fortnight ago when we were all out drinking and he put his hand on my leg but brushed it off as him being v pissed! We are a very unlikely couple which probably helps.

addictedtosugar · 27/03/2014 20:45

As a casual one off, no.

As as friendship that develops into something more, no problems. I married my work colleague - he had the desk opposite mine. We both started looking for a new job when it got serious, because it was too close. I'm still there.

There was also a couple who met at work with a 14 yr gap who have 2 kids now.

Just don't turn up to work in the same car if you don't want the gossip to start.

Its been the divorces and drunk one night stands that have been awkward at work.