Alone and feeling strange

[Chickens123]

I split from my DD s dad 10 years ago I've been single ever since not even been on a date with anyone. Last month I was ' set up' by a couple of friends with someone who was in the process ( so he says) of getting divorced. I feel really cross. I had no interest in him and felt cross that my friends thought I might want to go on a date. I hate being alone, I have a rubbish job that is totally unfulfilling, no family apart from DD and few friends ( even fewer who understand me). Just feel very lonely right now.

I just read your last post. Why do you think, by setting you up, they were laughing at you? Do you believe you are a figure of fun (or pity) in other regards? Do you think people pick on you more generally?

You know what? Enjoy your pity party for one.

I have said nothing vile or bullying to you, I have tried to be supportive and help you. But clearly what you want is people to back up your view that the whole world is out to get you, well I wont.

You dont want help? Fine. But dont you fucking dare accuse me of bullying when all I have I done is waste my time trying to help after YOU posted on here!

Screwed up? Not me, love.

Bogey your posts were sensitive, insightful and very supportive.

Don't let it get to you

OP, I still don't get what were you trying to get from posting here.

Did you PM Sole? She is trying to reach out to you and offer support. Bogey was trying to help you and wasn't at all bullying. In fact, Chickens, berating her for her use of ADs was really out of order.

I think I understand actually. I've seen other posts from the OP and ten years ago they left what sounds like a very abusive relationship. Like a lot of people after that kind of experience they came away with pretty shattered confidence, drew in their horns, built high walls and swore off relationships as a bad job. There are some side issues such as single parents shouldn't date etc but I think that and the defensiveness are symptomatic of the same core problem i.e. fear. They are very lonely but I think it's almost a price they're prepared to pay to protect themselves.

So when the friends set up this meeting not only without the OP's permission but also it turns out to be someone who isn't quite single yet then I can see why the OP would think it a gross intrusion and be angry. Same with their reaction to posters here.

A poster in another thread posted a quote from an Alicia Keys song, which I looked for, and it's initially from a poem by Anaïs Nin:
And this testimony came up, which actually made me think of Chickens. “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”

I understand the disappointment and the fear. I am always on my back foot with men and looking for possible red flags. But we need to open up to others if we don't want to be lonely.
And directing anger in every direction is not healthy.
Yes, I think you need to seek help, Chickens. You may prefer counselling than ADs. Or even to talk with a Church leader, if you are religious.