Alone and feeling strange

[Chickens123]

I split from my DD s dad 10 years ago I've been single ever since not even been on a date with anyone. Last month I was ' set up' by a couple of friends with someone who was in the process ( so he says) of getting divorced. I feel really cross. I had no interest in him and felt cross that my friends thought I might want to go on a date. I hate being alone, I have a rubbish job that is totally unfulfilling, no family apart from DD and few friends ( even fewer who understand me). Just feel very lonely right now.

What was your friends reaction to you telling them never to contact you again?

Well WMM. In your post you have accused me of using my child as an emotional crutch, calling single parents sluts and told me to get over it. I would like you to take your 'tough love' (aka bullying) and stick it where the bear s**ts in the buckwheat

And my friend actually didn't care that I chucked them. We are better off with out each other

Chickens At no point did WMM say that you used your child as a crutch, she said that he hoped you didnt. She said that your view of lone parents dating could be viewed as sluts is offensive to those of us that have been there, and it is! She suggested that either you get help or get over it. I dont see anything wrong with that tbh, as you have to do one or the other.

If you dont want to get help then you need to suck it up and accept your life as it is. Dumping friends and blaming everyone but yourself for how you feel is not going to help you is it?

Why do you take everything as an insult?

I hope you don't use her as an emotional crutch

No, I didn't.

for fear of being labelled a slut

This is from your post.

You really need to speak to someone. I think it will benefit you and your dd massively. I'm sure she'll be happy to see you happy.

I'm starting to see why you feel lonely...

Seriously, talk to your gp.

Chickens has made the right decisions for her. Chickens do go to a private therapist if you can and talk it all over. Sometimes we reach rock bottom in aspects and the only way is up.

Well water MM as mums net have not posted my reply you can infer what I would like you to do with your 'tough love'!

Stick it where the bear shits in the buckwheat, wasn't it?

Never heard that expression.

You need help, dear. Seriously.

Apparently the correct expression is to tell someone "where the bear shit in the buckwheat", which means to explain something to them that they are very likely to know already, especially because it is self-evident.

Thanks Lweji

oh dear

chickens
I have been where you are, thats why I said that you either need to seek outside help or suck it up, yet you didnt pick on me. You picked on Walter.

You have issues, that much is clear. Many of us, myself included, have been in that place. But isolating yourself from the very support network you need wont help. Slagging off people on MN wont help. "Chucking" your friends wont help. Refusing to see your GP wont help. Refusing therapy wont help.

If you dont want to engage in any kind of healing then I really fail to see what you are asking here.

You can get out of the dark cave of loneliness you have found yourself in, but only if you want to and only if you acknowledge that part of the reason you are there is your own fear and defence mechanism. If you dont want to do that then I am afraid that "get over yourself" or "suck it up" are the only options you are left with.

Bogey face you nothing about me you just assume you do and you assume you have done something amazing by popping a few pills and having a little chat with your GP. When really you are sad screwed up person who jumps on the band wagon of kicking someone when they are down. Maybe one day yor life will be destroyed too and you will stop crowing as well. I'm not picking on anyone just defending myself.

When really you are sad screwed up person

And what would you describe you as?

Why did you post?

Because I wondered if someone may feel the same but obviously just met with a wall of bullies and vile comments. Is screwed up a technical term or something out of your own narrow minded, backward, philosophy?

Did you just want a poor you response? And what bitches/bastards your friends were? What a fantastic mother you have been for waiting all that time for dating?

This is the wrong place for simple pats on the back.
People here tend to tell it as they see it.

You will get support from people who have been through what you are going. And even who feel the same way, but are willing to actually do something about it.

I am a single mother, too. But I have a more positive outlook on life. On the other hand, I have met people who can only dwell on the negatives and tend to cut people off their lives (exH, MIL, grandmother) and they are miserable and spend their lives complaining that they are lonely and people don't like them.
You can work on who you want to be.

When really you are sad screwed up person who jumps on the band wagon of kicking someone when they are down.

Is screwed up a technical term or something out of your own narrow minded, backward, philosophy?

Are you talking to yourself?

And, ahem, you were the first to use the term "screwed up".

What do you want to happen in your future?

What do you think your options are?

Being set up on a blind date can be embarrassing and I'm sure we've all had those moments where friends say 'you're going to love Mike' only for Mike to turn out to be a knobber. But that's just part of the rough and tumble of single life ... and there are ways to handle it that mean you don't end up isolated. Being as aggressive, touchy and pessimistic as you seem to be I fear people are going to give you even more of a wide berth than they already do.

Being set up was humiliating to say the least. Just felt totally disgusted that people I thought were friends thought of me in this way. But as I said they are gone from my life now. I never want to be in that situation again. I know people avoid me and I'm aggressive. But as someone said I never asked for a poor you response or you are fantasti person response. I know I'm none of these things. Just never thought people cpuld be so vile so quickly. And so narrow minded. for
for a 'poor you type response' or you are a

@BB I have no idea what I want to happen in the future or what my options are. But I know I don't want to be a someone people just laugh at coz I'm alone.

Just to clarify..... when they set you up on the date, what actually happened? Were you alone with this guy or did you meet as a group, for example? Also I'm interested to know what 'thought of me in this way' means. By setting you up what exactly is it that you think they think of you? What - in your mind - was the implication of their actions?