How do you deal with negative people?

[ikeaaddict]

How do you deal with someone who, everytime you see them, just comes up to you and starts moaning about anything and everything?

It's someone that I can't avoid as she is my DD's best friend's mum and I see her on the school run every day, and also socially as little as possible.

She never ever has a positive word to say about anything. Today she was moaning as she's spent the whole day doing housework and is now tired.

It's draining....

In laws are like this its maddening. After a day with them I have a splitting headache. My response is to be crazily upbeat I am sure they think I am a mad optimist which I am not except with them.

Example I had just got back from a lovely holiday. Their response

Her "0hh Howard and Hilda went there they said it was too hot"
Him "and they couldn't park"
Her "traffic jams. They said there were lots of traffic jams"
Him "I wouldn't like it don't speak French"

Me: I HAD A LOVELY TIME!

You don't have to have her in your life...she is toxic to you and that's very unhealthy. You need to learn to be more assertive and put yourself first. Try being positive whenever she is negative and that will usually stop her or she will stop moaning at you so much.

Why not get a motivational dvd or 'positive thinking' mantras or something. Next time she turns up unannounced. tell her you have got to make a quick phone call and offer her the dvd to watch while you make a call. A book titled 'how not to be a miserable bastard' may also do the trick. Tell her to take it home with her.

Learn the fine art of turing up to collect your dd at the last moment possible without being late...

"Have you ever considered trying the 100 days of happiness?" head slightly tilted and a huge smile on your face...

No it's not op responsibility to cheer up or jolly along this woman
Her demeanour is her unlikely to change by the op trying to tell her happy things
I'd suggest keep the social contact,light and functional and no don't attempt initiate change

You don't have to be friends with your kids' parents. As they get older you may not even meet them. The only parents of my kids' friends I chat to are those I like. I say polite hellos to the others but wouldn't deliberately socialise with them or hang around and chat. I'd be "just on my way out" if she turns up for a chat and asking her to phone in advance in future. You could try telling her that you feel she is always moaning at you and that is draining for you. She'll get upset but it may make her realise the effect she has on people and she'll avoid you. It may affect your child's friendship though.

Ahh these people suck the life out of you. I find it helps making a game out of how many negatives you can make a positive! Eventually they get bored and go sap somebody else!

I used to feel sorry for these people and spend hours listening to their neverending drama. These days I am much more selfish and drop them off my radar early on, so there's no chance of a friendship developing. My life has greatly improved as a result.

My friend's late DF had a very dry sense of humour. Was with him once as he listened to one of these 'Dementors' sucking the life out of the conversation. He said nothing but allowed them to drone on and on. Eventually they came to a natural halt.

"Still" he said, sipping thoughtfully on a pint. "It's keeping so cheerful what keeps you going..."

I swear he winked at me..

I vent a lot about housework, wife work, motherhood, and how being a woman sometimes utterly sucks.

The problem here is that you don't seem to be on the same wavelength as hers.

I love a right old moan with my friends over coffee. If you don't do these things with other fellow mums, who are you going to moan to?

Send her over to me OP, she sounds like the kind of friend I'd love to have :)